The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 239

Grey and drizzle! Another weekend is here which can only mean… it’s time for… another retro movie rundown!

Sugar and spice! Mixing together the perfect blend of aromatic spices and flavours, we find ourselves in the throws of a chilli cook-off. Mixing the finest and freshest ingredients with a spoon of this and a splash of that to create a balanced and spicy delight, we’ll eagerly taste at each stage to ensure a correct course of culinary travel. Finishing off with a helping of soft fluffy rice, we’ll serve up our creation to be savoured, enjoyed and ultimately judged like a director revealing their latest creation.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd April

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Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) ITV 9:25am-11:10am (1 hour 45 minutes)
The amiable killer whale is reunited with his human friend Jesse, now a teenager working on a research ship. Jesse meets a boy whose father is secretly involved in poaching whales for their meat, and persuades the youngster to help him protect Willy and his pod from harm. Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter, August Schellenberg and Annie Corley.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 5STAR 1:05pm-3:10pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 2:25pm-4:35pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 9:05pm-11:25pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

SUNDAY 23rd April

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV 3:15pm-5:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.

James Bond TShirts

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:15pm-5:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Mission: Impossible (1996) Channel 4 3:20pm-5:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) Sony Movie Channel 4:30pm-6:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A food critic realises she is in love with her best friend just as he announces he is going to marry another woman. Determined to have him to herself, she heads for the wedding with the intention of sabotaging the ceremony – but persuading the groom to give up on his bride-to-be proves harder than expected. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz and Rupert Everett

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett.

Enemy at the Gates (2001) Spike 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A Soviet sniper becomes a national hero during the Second World War Battle of Stalingrad, so the Germans enlist a crack marksman of their own to deal with him. A lethal contest of wits follows as the two sharpshooters stalk each other, while the Russian also finds himself caught up in a love triangle with one of his friends. Drama, starring Jude Law, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Hoskins and Ron Perlman.

A Few Good Men (1992) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Two marines based in Cuba stand accused of murdering a comrade-in-arms. Three Navy lawyers working on their defence unearth evidence that the soldiers may have been acting under orders, which points to a trail of corruption leading all the way to a top-ranking officer. Drama based on Aaron Sorkin’s stage play, starring Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Kevin Pollack, Jack Nicholson, Kiefer Sutherland and Kevin Bacon.

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988) ITV4 10:05pm-11:50pm
While investigating the shooting of a colleague, disaster-prone police lieutenant Frank Drebin uncovers a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II during her visit to Los Angeles. However, after he is sacked from the force by the mayor, the cop has to operate beneath the radar to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Comedy, with Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and Ricardo Montalban.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always remember to take more bags than you think you’ll need, and to fill up on washer fluid before it runs out. You’re future self will thank you.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 154

Man overboard! It’s only gone and been the weekend again!

Searching high and low for any available materials like a stranded island dweller, we find ourselves thinking up and creating one of the most seaworthy rafts our eyes have ever seen. Complete with mast, sails, figurehead and all strapped down to take on even the toughest of seas, we’ll set sail this weekend into the weird and wonderful world of some of the most iconic retro movies ever to be seen and will drop anchor at only the finest showings as we sit back to enjoy some of the best celluloid wonder from the 80s, 90s and 00s.

Have a happy retro weekend.

SATURDAY 4th JUNE

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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
(1968) Channel 5 3:25pm-6:10pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions T-Shirts

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV London 7:00pm-10:00pm (3 hours)
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter T-Shirts

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV4 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond investigates a diamond-smuggling operation, and discovers that behind the scheme is his insidious arch-enemy Blofeld, who is planning to construct a devastating orbital doomsday weapon powered by the precious stones, which will force world powers to disarm and give him global domination. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

Patriot Games (1992) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Fun Fact: The CIA scenes were filmed at the actual CIA headquarters; this was the first time the CIA had ever done such a thing.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:45am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

Terminator T-Shirts

SUNDAY 5th JUNE

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The Parent Trap
(1998) Film4 1:00pm-3:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 2:30pm-4:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean T-Shirts

Entrapment (1999) Channel 5 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An elusive professional art thief suspected of stealing a priceless painting is pursued by an insurance agent. However, instead of bringing the criminal to book, she teams up with him to plot the robbery of a lifetime – although neither is sure the other can be trusted. Crime thriller, starring Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames, Will Patton and Maury Chaykin.

The Railway Children (1970) ITV3 4:35pm-6:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Three Edwardian children are forced to leave their comfortable middle-class London home and move to the wilds of Yorkshire after their father is wrongfully imprisoned for treason. Family drama adapted from E Nesbit’s story, starring Jenny Agutter, Sally Thomsett, Gary Warren, Dinah Sheridan, Bernard Cribbins, William Mervyn and Iain Cuthbertson.

The Net (1995) E4 5:30pm-7:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A shy computer analyst discovers evidence of a criminal conspiracy, so the villains decide to retaliate. Erasing her personal details from the national database, they replace them with a false police record, hurling her into a desperate race against time to prove her real identity before corrupt officials silence her for good. Thriller, starring Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam and Dennis Miller.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) Film4 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

Fun Fact: The scene in which the convoy of Suburbans is attacked by the drug cartel is now actually used as a training video in US government agencies. The footage was also used in an episode of JAG (1995).

Jurassic Park (1993) ITV2 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

The American President (1995) ITV3 10:30pm-12:50am (2 hours 20 minutes)
The US president embarks on a relationship with an environmental lobbyist – but his delighted opponents jump at the chance to drag the pair through the gutter press, putting their romance and his career in jeopardy. Rob Reiner’s political comedy, starring Michael Douglas, Annette Bening, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss and Michael J Fox.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, give it your all and remember that it’s not always about winning, if you just take part you’re more of a winner than if you never tried.

xoxo