The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 356

Kiai! Kicking and punching our way through another week, we find ourselves once again facing a whole heap of classic retro movies before us like kickboxing pads ready to be engaged. We’ll duck and roll our way along as we take on any tale before us in true cinematic glory!

SATURDAY 16th November

Small Soldiers (1998) E4 10:55am-1:00pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live-action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

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Ice Age (2002) Film4 3:15pm-4:55pm
Three mismatched prehistoric animals join forces to return a human infant to its tribe – but as their journey unfolds, the creatures fail to anticipate the many perils and pitfalls that lay in store for them. Animated adventure, featuring the voices of John Leguizamo, Ray Romano, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic and Jack Black.

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30th March 201929th March 2019

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 326

*Tick-tock* It’s that time already! We’re back with another look over all the top retro films hitting your screens this weekend. Gain more than just an hour this weekend, gain a whole lot of awesome movie goodness with our hand-picked films! Tuck in time keepers!

SATURDAY 29th March

Coneheads (1993) Film4 11:00am-12:45pm
An alien couple and their daughter crash-land on Earth and try to blend into suburban society, all the while dodging the immigration authorities and their increasingly suspicious neighbours. Comedy, starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michael McKean, Jason Alexander, Michelle Burke, David Spade and Chris Farley.

Live and Let Die (1973) ITV 1:35pm-4:00pm
James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 5STAR 2:00pm-3:40pm
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 3:20pm-5:55pm
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) 5STAR 3:40pm-6:45pm
An English nobleman returns home from the crusades to find his father has been murdered and the local people are repressed by the tyrannical rule of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Branded an outlaw, he recruits a group of bandits to fight for justice and protect the downtrodden. Action adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 4:00pm-6:20pm
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.

Cocoon (1985) Film4 4:40pm-6:55pm
The elderly residents of a retirement home treat themselves to an occasional dip in the pool at an abandoned house. It turns out that friendly aliens in human form are using the place to restore dormant members of their species – and energy from their cocoons is giving the old-timers a new lease of life. Ron Howard’s sci-fi drama, with Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Don Ameche and Steve Guttenberg.

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003) Film4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding – one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino’s two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.

Cobra (1986) 5Spike 9:00pm-10:45pm
A maverick Los Angeles police officer is assigned to the case of a serial killer and becomes convinced the murders are not the work of just one man but an organised gang of psychopaths. His theory turns out to be true and he has to battle to protect the sole surviving witness to their reign of terror. Action thriller, with Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen and Brian Thompson.

SUNDAY 20th March

Small Soldiers (1998) Film4 2:30pm-4:40pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 3:10pm-5:15pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set

Shrek (2001) ITV2 5:15pm-8:00pm
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T Merchandsie

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 7:00pm-10:35pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Lord Of The Rings You Shall Not Pass Door Mat

Under Siege (1992) ITV4 9:50pm-11:55pm
Terrorists infiltrate a US battleship in a carefully orchestrated move to steal its arsenal of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship’s resourceful cook – a veteran US Navy Seal – and a scantily clad stripper are about to foil their plans. Action adventure, starring Steven Seagal, Erika Eleniak, Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try to spare some time to pop a podcast on, you’ll thank us for it.

23rd March 201922nd March 2019

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 325

Helllooooo Spring time! with the weather FINALLY looking like it’s going to start pleying nice, we find ourselves at the foot of another weekend. So many possibilities, so much opportunity! Let’s take the first step into the weekend of joy with some of our top retro movies hitting the screen over the next few days. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 23rd March

Bugsy Malone (1976) ITV3 8:45am-10:35am
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch-rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) ITV 12:50pm-3:35pm
James Bond is sent on a mission to track down a master criminal and arch-enemy Blofeld, who is intent on destroying world peace by means of a lethal virus unless he receives an international amnesty for his crimes. Spy adventure, starring George Lazenby in his only outing as 007, alongside Telly Savalas, Diana Rigg and Gabrielle Ferzetti.

Titanic (1997) Film4 2:40pm-6:25pm
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Titanic TShirts

Titanic Movie Poster Black Boyfriend Fit Rolled Sleeve T-Shirt

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 5STAR 5:10pm-6:55pm
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm
A puny but brave volunteer is rejected for military service during the Second World War. He becomes the test subject for an experiment that transforms him into the ultimate soldier, and battles against a secret Nazi society plotting to harness the powers of a mystical artefact. Superhero adventure, with Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell and Tommy Lee Jones.

Captain America TShirts

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) 5STAR 6:55pm-10:00pm
An English nobleman returns home from the crusades to find his father has been murdered and the local people are repressed by the tyrannical rule of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Branded an outlaw, he recruits a group of bandits to fight for justice and protect the downtrodden. Action adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

Speed (1994) E4 9:00pm-11:20pm
An LAPD cop discovers a psychotic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps a hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel and keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) E4 11:20pm-1:40am
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

SUNDAY 24th March

Hulk (2003) Film4 11:00am-1:45pm
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-book adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk TShirts

Volcano (1997) Film4 1:45pm-3:50pm
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV 3:15pm-5:30pm
James Bond investigates a diamond-smuggling operation and discovers that behind the scheme is his insidious arch-enemy Blofeld, who is planning to construct a devastating orbital doomsday weapon powered by the precious stones, which will force world powers to disarm and give him global domination. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) Film4 6:00pm-9:00pm
The heroic Autobots discover that a spaceship from their own planet crashed into the moon decades ago, carrying their former leader and an incredibly powerful device. They must fight to defend the human race as their enemies the Decepticons plot to use this machine to rebuild their own world and destroy the Earth. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Transformers Clothing

Transformers Optimus Prime Snuggler Blanket With Sleeves

Shrek (2001) ITV2 6:10pm-8:00pm
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, do something that makes you think of Spring!

1st December 201719th July 2018

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 270

Kris Kringle! Another retro movie weekend is here and is coming jam-packed with classic movie goodness!

With a brush and a scrape, we find ourselves frantically chipping away at the nights frost which has decided to make a semi-permanent home on our windscreen. With our fingers and toes quickly matching the temperature of the ice itself, we’ll slowly begin to reveal the clear shiny glass beneath the ice blanket, watching our breath slowly rise and fade away into the clear sky.

SATURDAY 1st December

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Muppets Merchandise

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 2:45pm-5:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Superman (1978) ITV4 3:25pm-6:20pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Nacho Libre (2006) ITV4 6:20pm-8:10pm
A portly Mexican friar working as a cook in an orphanage adopts the guise of a masked wrestler. He teams up with a thief and enters a tournament hoping to win enough money to sort out the monastery’s financial problems, feed the kids under his care and impress the nun he is in love with. Comedy, starring Jack Black and Ana de la Reguera.

The Nutty Professor (1996) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
An obese, terminally shy professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. His new streamlined self immediately sets out to woo the woman of his dreams – but soon starts to ride roughshod over everything he used to care about. Remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn and Larry Miller.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his cautious partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by a South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the US via his embassy. Protected by diplomatic immunity, the crook looks certain to evade the law – while his chief henchman has a connection to Riggs’ traumatic past. Action thriller sequel, with Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor and Patsy Kensit.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:35pm-12:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo TShirts

SUNDAY 2nd December

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Wild Wild West (1999) Dave 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 3:15pm-5:05pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Shrek (2001) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 12:30am-2:40am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay warm and keep cooooool!

28th March 201419th July 2018

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 92

Double Pepperoni! It can only be the Weekend!

So as we stand ever so magnificently in the centre of a 20 X 20 Wrestling ring shimmering in our sequined spandex tights. Let us be your greased up, mullet headed, 80’s pro wrestler. As we prepare to lay the smack down on retro movie mayhem. We’ll stomp mud holes and walk them dry all over cinematic greatness before hitting our glorious finishing move we like to call celluloid wonder, for the three count and the victory. Oooooh yeah!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th MARCH

Shrek (2001) BBC1 London 5:15 pm-6:40 pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10 pm-9:00 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

The Blues Brothers (1980) ITV4 9:00 pm-11:35 pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Two criminal brothers discover the orphanage where they were raised faces closure unless the nuns who run it can pay their tax bill, so the pair embark on an urgent mission to revive their old blues band to raise the money needed. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, Carrie Fisher, John Candy and John Lee Hooker.

Old School (2003) BBC3 9:20 pm-10:50 pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An embittered lawyer decides to relive the wild, crazy days of his youth after his girlfriend is unfaithful, and enlists the help of two equally disillusioned friends in setting up a fraternity house next to his former college campus. Comedy, starring Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn and Juliette Lewis.

SUNDAY 30th MARCH

Big (1988) Film4 1:00 pm-3:00 pm (2 hours)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks,
Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) Channel 5 12:35 pm-2:40 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Cute furball Gizmo is reunited with his human friends Billy and Kate, who now work in the New York offices of an eccentric tycoon. However, it is not long before Gizmo has spawned a new generation of murderous carnivores, who quickly overrun the building – and a genetics lab where they produce even more startling mutations. Joe Dante’s comedy sequel, starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover and Christopher Lee.

Men's Black Gremlins Bad Gremlin T-Shirt

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) Channel 5 2:40 pm-4:20 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A tough Los Angeles cop receives a visit from his overprotective mother. Not content with tidying his home and meddling in his love life, she joins him on duty to rid the streets of crime after witnessing a murder. Comedy, starring Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty, JoBeth Williams, Roger Rees and Martin Ferrero.

Point Break (1991) Channel 5 11:55 pm-2:20 am (2 hours 25 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Whamalama Ding dong! Bonus Movie Clip time!
This week a little soul for your soul….

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember if you pull faces and the wind changes you’ll stay like that forever and always try to enjoy yourselves.

xoxo