The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 177

Jingle all the way! Tis the season and tis certainly time for another installment of our Retro Movie Rundown!

Like a frantic parent with just a few hours left to finish wrapping up alllll the big and small gifts ready for the big day, we find ourselves faced with a battle involving paper, tape and patience.  We’ll get ever more creative with ways to wrap even the most obscure shapes and sizes just so we can hold the suspense for the recipient for just a little longer. We’ll start with a pile of items and materials and end up with a complete collection of suspense and joy.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th DECEMBER

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Stargate (1994) 5* 11:40am-2:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Syfy 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Star Trek Clothing

Dad’s Army (1971) BBC2 London 5:00pm-6:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The ragtag soldiers of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard are given the chance to prove their mettle by apprehending three German aviators who have parachuted into the country in the vanguard of a suspected Nazi invasion. British comedy based on the TV series, starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, Clive Dunn, Bill Pertwee, Ian Lavender and Arnold Ridley.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Comedy Central 5:00pm-7:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Wayne’s World (1992) GOLD 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

The Fugitive (1993) Dave 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 7:25pm-9:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.

Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) ITV4 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A Hong Kong cop delves into the murky world of international arms theft to track down a missing nuclear warhead – but the bad guys try to get him out of the way by framing him for murder. Martial arts adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Jackson Lou, Annie Wu, Bill Tung and Jouri Petrov. In Mandarin, Cantonese, English, Russian and Ukrainian.

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Awkward teenagers Simon, Will, Jay and Neil plan a holiday to the Greek island of Crete after they finish their exams, hoping to experience drink, sex and debauchery beyond their wildest dreams. However, things do not quite work out as planned. Comedy based on the TV series, with Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley and Blake Harrison.

Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 10:15pm-12:20am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Fun Fact: John Rambo’s horse also appeared in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) as Indiana Jones’ horse.

SUNDAY 20th DECEMBER

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Syfy 11:00am-1:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

WarGames (1983) 5* 1:45pm-4:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:50pm-3:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Toy Story 3 (2010) BBC1 London 3:05pm-4:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Woody, Buzz and the other toys accidently end up in a daycare centre when their owner grows up. At first this seems like the perfect new home for them, but when they realise the dangers lurking under the surface, they begin to formulate an escape plan. Pixar animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Michael Keaton and Ned Beatty.

Toy Story Wallpaper

The Addams Family (1991) Channel 4 3:15pm-5:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Pinocchio (1940) Channel 5 5:05pm-6:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lonely old toy-maker’s dream of having a son comes true when a kindly fairy brings one of his puppets to life. The wooden boy wants to become a real human but has to prove his worth, a task easier said than done when so many temptations cross his path. Disney animated adventure, featuring the voices of Dick Jones, Christian Rub and Cliff Edwards.

Pinocchio Jewellery

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

War of the Worlds (2005) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A divorced father’s rare weekend with his two estranged children descends into horror when alien war machines rise from beneath Earth and begin to systematically destroy every human being in their path – leaving the man with the dangerous task of getting his kids to safety. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller, based on HG Wells’ novel, with Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto and Tim Robbins.

Whatever you’re up to, always remember to leave room for dessert and don’t forget to measure twice and cut once.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 166

Half pint Harry! Is it really the weekend so soon? Well okay then!

Like a group of eager and experienced pub goers on another adventure through the local haunts, we find ourselves gearing up for another weekend of fun, friends and foamy beer. Setting sail into the night and whatever it may hold, we’ll sample only the best local tipples as we work our way around all our local establishments before heading home to catch one of the late night retro movies that will send our weary minds back to our childhood years.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 26th SEPTEMBER

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True Grit (1969) More4 10:25am-1:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
One-eyed, over-the-hill US Marshal Rooster Cogburn reluctantly agrees to help a girl track down her father’s killer. The quest is complicated by a Texas Ranger, who is also on the murderer’s trail, and a host of villains who have few qualms about disposing of the meddling youngster and her protector. Western, starring an Oscar-winning John Wayne alongside Jeff Corey, Kim Darby, Glen Campbell, Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper.

Stepmom (1998) 5* 5:20pm-7:45pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A successful photographer marries a divorced businessman with two children, but has a hard time adapting to her new role as a stepmother – a task made all the more difficult by the hostile attitude of his ex-wife. However, a tragedy unexpectedly brings the two women closer together. Drama, starring Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris, Jena Malone and Liam Aiken.

Cannonball Run II (1984) ITV4 7:30pm-9:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An assortment of daredevil motorists torments America’s law enforcement officers while taking part in an illegal coast-to-coast race organised by an Arab sheik who is putting up the million-dollar prize money. Comedy sequel, starring Burt Reynolds, Shirley MacLaine, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Telly Savalas and Frank Sinatra.

Parenthood (1989) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Anxious family man Gil Buckman is determined to have a better relationship with his three children than he had with his tough father. Elsewhere, his two sisters are also having family problems – one is struggling to understand her two troubled teenagers, while the other’s husband wants to turn their toddler into a child genius. Comedy drama, starring Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards and Dianne Wiest.

Fun Fact: The film grossed just under $100 million during the original run in theaters. Several years later, the project was rereleased into theaters so it could be logged officially as earning $100 million.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) ITV4 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A maverick cop and his by-the-book partner investigate the murder of a fellow detective, uncovering a sinister conspiracy to get the people of America hooked on cocaine-flavoured cookies. Spoof of the Lethal Weapon movies, starring Emilio Estevez, Samuel L Jackson, Jon Lovitz, Tim Curry and William Shatner.

SUNDAY 26th SEPTEMBER

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Man Without a Star
(1955) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A wandering cowboy and his naive travelling partner are hired by an ambitious ranch owner, who wishes to expand her territory at the cost of her struggling neighbours. The drifter sympathises with the plight of the other farmers, but disapproves of the methods they intend to use to mark their territory. King Vidor’s Western, starring Kirk Douglas, Jeanne Crain, William Campbell, Richard Boone and Claire Trevor.

Beaches (1988) Channel 4 1:25pm-3:45pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Brash child performer CC and rich girl Hillary become unlikely friends when they first meet at 11 years old. Years later they are still close, but Hillary, who is now a successful lawyer, is stricken with a terminal illness. CC goes to visit her and together they reflect on the highs and lows of their long, volatile relationship. Drama, starring Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey, John Heard and Mayim Bialik.

The Borrowers (1997) 5* 2:05pm-3:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Fun Fact: Every vehicle shown in the film is a Morris 1000 Minor. Even a custom-built ‘stretched’ limo.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Star Trek (2009) E4 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The trainee crew members of the starship Enterprise embark on their maiden flight, which pits them against a Romulan commander from the future who is planning a horrific revenge on those he blames for a tragedy in his own time. Sci-fi adventure based on the original TV series, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana and Leonard Nimoy.

Star Trek T-Shirts

Waterworld (1995) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
In the future, environmental disasters have left the planet flooded. A web-footed mutant mariner helps a woman and an orphan girl search for a mythical haven of dry land, with the help of a map tattooed on the child’s back – but in the process has to fend off a villainous crew of nicotine-addicted pirates. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino and Rick Aviles.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 11:40pm-1:45am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you have enough chairs and don’t forget to show your working out.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown165

Cheese and wine! It’s only the weekend again!

So like a weary city slicker at the end of another long week, we find ourselves easing into a nice calm and relaxing Friday night as we unwind and let the week’s woes slip away. We’ll set up base camp in front of only the very best classic retro films with a glass of wine, more snacks than a kids party and only a night of R&R ahead. Settling in for the night, we’ll let the likes of Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, Bill Murray, Michael J. Fox, and Robert De Niro take us to far and distant lands full of adventure and mystery. Bliss!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 18th SEPTEMBER

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Escape to Victory (1981) More4 10:35am-1:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Allied PoWs take to the football field when a group of Nazi officers comes up with the idea to have them take on a German team for a propaganda event. However, the prisoners see a chance to escape during the match. Second World War adventure, with Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone, Max von Sydow and Daniel Massey. Soccer legends also making appearances include Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles.

Top Gun (1986) Sky Movies Action & Adventure HD 12:25pm-2:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An arrogant pilot’s maverick flying skills earn him a place in an elite US Navy school, where he comes into conflict with a fellow student and falls for his civilian instructor. A tragedy in the air threatens to end his military career – until an international incident offers him a chance to redeem himself. Aerial action adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards and Tom Skerritt.

Top Gun Merchandise

Fletch (1985) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours )
A wisecracking reporter and master of disguise is approached by a businessman who claims to be terminally ill and is looking to pay someone to kill him. The journalist discovers the supposedly dying man is in perfect health, and his strange request is part of a complex scam. Comedy mystery based on Gregory Mcdonald’s novel, with Chevy Chase and Tim Matheson.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) ITV4 3:45pm-5:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 6:30pm-8:30pm (2 hours )
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.

Edward Scissorhands Merchandise

Bean (1997) ITV2 7:40pm-9:30pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Mr Bean T-Shirt

Twelve Monkeys (1995) Syfy 9:00pm-11:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A time traveller from 2035 journeys back to the 1990s to discover the cause of a deadly disease that ravaged the world, only to be thrown into an asylum. He meets a fellow patient who may hold the key to his mission, but the longer he spends in the past, the more he comes to question whether he really is from the future or simply delusional. Terry Gilliam’s sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, Madeleine Stowe and Christopher Plummer.

SUNDAY 19th SEPTEMBER

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Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head (1966) ITV3 6:50am-8:40am (1 hour 50 minutes)
A cunning English nobleman puts his talent for disguise to good use by rescuing aristocrats from execution during the French Revolution. However, the leader of the secret police is determined to unmask the elusive hero spiriting the nobility out from under the guillotine. Comedy spoof of the Scarlet Pimpernel story, starring Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Jim Dale and Charles Hawtrey.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 12:55pm-2:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This movie made the Pontiac Trans Am a superstar. Trans Am sales jumped from 68,745 in 1977 to 93,341 in 1978. And just one year later that number swelled to 117,108 units sold.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 1:30pm-3:25pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and finds himself heading for New York, while his family jets off to Florida. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel – until he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Brenda Fricker and Tim Curry.

Home Alone T-Shirts

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Comedy Central 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Twins (1988) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Red Heat (1988) ITV4 10:00pm-12:10am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Russian detective travels to America to oversee the extradition of a Georgian drug baron responsible for supplying cocaine in Moscow. He is teamed up with a hostile Chicago cop, but when their prisoner kills an officer and escapes, they put aside their mutual mistrust to bring him to justice. Action thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Laurence Fishburne and Ed O’Ross.

The 51st State (2001) BBC3 10:00pm-11:25pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
An American drug dealer decides to retire from a life of crime and plans to raise the necessary funds through one final sale in Liverpool. There he has to contend with crooked cops, a neo-Nazi gang and a hitwoman in the employ of his old boss. Action comedy, starring Samuel L Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Emily Mortimer, Meat Loaf, Ricky Tomlinson, Sean Pertwee and Rhys Ifans.

Fun Fact: Writer Stel Pavlou was actually working as an assistant in a liquor store when he penned his screenplay.

Virus (1999) Syfy 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours)
A salvage tug sailing perilously close to a typhoon discovers an abandoned Russian science vessel. Members of the crew board the ship, only to discover it has been taken over by an alien life form made of pure energy, which can create warriors out of organic and mechanical components and plans to eradicate the human race. Sci-fi thriller, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Sutherland.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you keep secrets a secret and blow out the candles before you go to bed.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 161

Sweet marmalade one toast! It’s only the weekend back again!

So like one of the hottest crime scene investigators in town, we find ourselves facing another classic case of retro movie mystery. We’ll glove up and start eagerly digging for clues as we slowly uncover all the traces of cinematic greatness that the weekend has to offer. We’ll bag up only the most important evidence before taking it back to the lab to further uncover the hidden truths that may lie within and capture them forever onto celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd August

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Ivanhoe
(1982) Movie Mix 9:00am-11:50am (2 hours 50 minutes)
A noble 12th-century knight returns home to England after fighting in the Crusades alongside Richard the Lionheart, only to find the country under the domination of the king’s tyrannical brother. He joins a rebellion to restore rule of the kingdom to the rightful monarch. Medieval adventure based on Walter Scott’s novel, starring Anthony Andrews, James Mason and Sam Neill.

Flash Gordon (1980) More4 10:45am-1:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
American football quarterback Flash Gordon and journalist Dale Arden find themselves aboard a rocket ship designed by scientist Dr Zarkov, who intends to travel across space to locate the source of recent natural disasters. The three arrive on the planet Mongo, where they soon learn that the attacks are the responsibility of evil emperor Ming the Merciless, who is planning to destroy the Earth. Sci-fi comic-strip adventure, with Sam J Jones, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Peter Wyngarde and Mariangela Melato.

Flash Gordon Merchandise

Spartacus (1960) ITV4 2:10pm-6:00pm (3 hours 50 minutes)
A slave trained to fight as a gladiator turns against his masters and leads an army of rebels in a fight for freedom against the Roman state. But as the rebellion gathers momentum, two senators do all they can to exploit the uprising for their own political ends. Stanley Kubrick’s Oscar-winning epic, with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Laurence Olivier, Jean Simmons, Charles Laughton and Peter Ustinov.

Fun Fact: Thirty years after filming, Jean Simmons met the baby she held in this film, who now works in the film industry as a stuntwoman.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) BBC1 London 6:20pm-8:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The globe-trotting archaeologist teams up with a rebellious teenager who draws him into a search in the Amazon jungle for a mysterious artefact of untold power. But their quest is hindered by Soviet agents, who also want the fabled object for an altogether more sinister purpose. Action adventure sequel, updating the series to a 1950s Cold War setting, starring Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, Ray Winstone and John Hurt.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003) ITV2 11:40pm-2:05am (2 hours 25 minutes)
As the survivors of the human race make their last stand against the machines, freedom fighters Neo and Trinity undertake a desperate journey into the heart of the enemy stronghold seeking a way to end the war, while the rogue computer program Smith sets about remaking the virtual world of the Matrix in his own image. Conclusion of the sci-fi trilogy, starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving.

SUNDAY 23rd August

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Smokey and the Bandit II
(1980) ITV London 1:40pm-3:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 2:05pm-4:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (1996) ITV2 2:20pm-4:10pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left to fend for themselves on the streets of San Francisco when their owners fly off on holiday and accidentally leave them behind. As they join a tough group of strays, they must avoid falling into the clutches of the sinister dog catchers. Adventure sequel, with the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Ralph Waite.

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Hulk (2003) ITV2 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

Mercury Rising (1998) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A top-secret government agency has developed a seemingly unbreakable code – only for an autistic boy to crack it in an instant. Assassins succeed in gunning down his parents, but a maverick FBI agent investigating their deaths finds the child hiding in a closet, and resolves to shield him from the hitmen on his trail. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin and Miko Hughes.

Fight Club (1999) Channel 5 11:15pm-1:50am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A disillusioned office worker grows weary of his humdrum existence, but after meeting the mysterious Tyler Durden he finds fulfilment in establishing a club where similarly frustrated men come to vent their anger in bouts of bare-knuckle fighting. Satirical drama, directed by David Fincher, starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf and Jared Leto.

Fun Fact: In the short scene when Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are drunk and hitting golf balls, they really are drunk, and the golf balls are sailing directly into the side of the catering truck.

Daylight (1996) ITV4 11:15pm-1:30am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A devastating explosion in the New Jersey Tunnel causes a horrific pile-up, trapping a group of motorists underground. A former emergency worker witnesses the blast and heads in to guide the handful of survivors to safety before the waters of the Hudson river above them break through and flood the tunnel. Disaster movie, starring Sylvester Stallone, Amy Brenneman, Viggo Mortensen, Dan Hedaya and Claire Bloom.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, phone ahead if you need to and always bring some back up layers.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 159

Bubblewrap and boxes! It’s the weekend all over again and it’s time for another installment of our retro movie rundown!

Like two eager and determined house hunters, we find ourselves searching each and every avenue in the hunt for that perfect property that will tick all the right boxes, give us that warm feeling and become our brand a brand new home. We’ll fill it with all our worldly possessions, set everything just so and capture the whole adventure onto celluloid wonder ready to rediscover in years to come and say….look how young we looked!

Have a happy retro weekend.

SATURDAY 8th August

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Only You (1994) Movie Mix 9:10am-11:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)

A woman who was once told the identity of the person she would marry in a childhood Ouija board game is astounded when a man with the same name calls her on the eve of her wedding. After promptly dumping her dull fiance, she follows the stranger to Italy in the hope of convincing him they are meant to be together. Romantic comedy, with Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr, Bonnie Hunt, Fisher Stevens and Billy Zane.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) ITV4 12:10pm-1:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)

Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 4:40pm-7:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)

Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Fun Fact: London’s Tower Bridge was closed to allow for filming. They were allowed to close it for 20 minutes at a time, but the resulting traffic jam after the first time brought threats of arrest from Scotland Yard and a reduced closing time of 10 minutes.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) BBC1 London 6:25pm-8:15pm (1 hour 50 minutes)

The intrepid archaeologist, with his young sidekick and a nightclub singer in tow, is stranded in India, where he takes on a mission to recover magical sacred stones from the hands of an evil cult engaged in human sacrifice and child slavery. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan and Amrish Puri.

Live and Let Die (1973) ITV4 6:25pm-9:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)

James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

Iron Man (2008) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)

Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.

The A-Team (2010) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)

Four soldiers are sent on a top-secret mission in Iraq that results in them being imprisoned for a crime they did not commit. When they learn the culprit is trying to sell equipment for producing fake currency, they break out of prison to find both him and evidence of their innocence. Action adventure based on the 1980s TV series, with Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Quinton `Rampage’ Jackson.

Octopussy (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)

James Bond investigates the mysterious death of a British agent in East Berlin, a mission that leads him to a glamorous, international jewel thief. He discovers one of her criminal cohorts, an Indian gangster, is in league with a crazed Soviet general who plans to heat up the Cold War by detonating a nuclear bomb in an American Air Force Base. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Steven Berkoff and Louis Jourdan.

Rambo (2008) Spike 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)

The bandana-wearing one-man army has turned his back on violence to live a quiet life in Thailand. But before long he takes up arms once again to rescue a party of missionaries who have been taken captive en route to Burma by a sadistic military officer. Action sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Julie Benz and Graham McTavish.

The Matrix (1999) ITV2 11:50pm-2:30am (2 hours 40 minutes)

A computer hacker discovers the world around him is nothing more than a virtual-reality fantasy created by malevolent living machines. Entering the devastated real world, he joins freedom fighters risking their lives to bring the truth out into the open and liberate the human race. Sci-fi action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss and Hugo Weaving.

SUNDAY 9th August

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Legally Blonde (2001) 5* 1:30pm-3:30pm (2 hours)

A seemingly dizzy teenager is heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her because he thinks she is not intelligent enough to help his political career. To prove him wrong she enrols at Harvard, but finds herself out of her depth as other students do their best to humiliate her. Comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis and Victor Garber.

My Neighbour Totoro (1988) Film4 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)

Two sisters move to a new home in the countryside when their mother is taken ill. They are thrilled to discover the house is next to an enchanted forest, and befriending the eldest and wisest of the strange magical creatures dwelling there. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Dakota and Elle Fanning.

Never Say Never Again (1983) ITV London 3:25pm-6:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)

James Bond investigates the hijacking of two American nuclear warheads and tracks the stolen missiles to the Bahamas, where a sinister millionaire working for criminal organisation Spectre is planning to hold the world to ransom. Action adventure, starring Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Basinger, Max von Sydow and Barbara Carrera.

Planet of the Apes (2001) 5* 3:30pm-6:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)

An astronaut crash-lands on a strange planet and is captured and enslaved by the ruling race of highly intelligent apes. Luckily, he is helped by a sympathetic chimpanzee – but then discovers a shocking secret. Remake of the 1960s sci-fi adventure, directed by Tim Burton and starring Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Roth, and featuring a cameo appearance from the original film’s star Charlton Heston.

Fun Fact: Mark Wahlberg joined the film after meeting with Tim Burton for only five minutes. He was so anxious to work with the director that he agreed to play any part. Wahlberg dropped out of the role of Linus in Ocean’s Eleven (2001) to do this film.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Syfy 5:50pm-8:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)

The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) ITV2 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)

A gifted teenager investigates his dead parents’ past, leading to a mysterious corporation and an incident that leaves him with superhuman powers. A personal tragedy drives him to use his abilities to fight crime, and he soon faces a scientist colleague of his father, who has undergone a deadly transformation of his own. Superhero adventure reboot, starring Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and Rhys Ifans.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you look both ways and remember that eating spaghetti with a white t-shirt on is a very dangerous game.

xoxo