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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown Christmas Special!

Jingle all the way! The Christmas special retro movie rundown is here and BOY is it a (nut) cracker!

With the sprouts bubbling away and the oven slowly warming the house with it’s delicious festive smells, we find ourselves in a mix of chaos, delight and nostalgia of Christmases past. With the dust starting to settle on another year, we find ourselves perched on the nearest sofa as we let the warm glow of the TV soothe us into the night with it’s festive joy.

Merry Christmas one and all!

SATURDAY 23rd December

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The Rugrats Movie (1999) Channel 4 7:30am-9:00am (1 hour 30 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends become lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

The Rugrats Merchandise

The Muppets (2011) BBC2 9:30am-11:10am (1 hour 40 minutes)
Three fans of the famous puppet variety show discover a powerful businessman is going to knock down the Muppet theatre and drill for oil on the site. They track down frontman Kermit the frog and persuade him to reunite his co-stars, so they can put on one last performance to save the venue. Comedy, starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams and Chris Cooper, with songs by Bret McKenzie (Flight of the Conchords).

The Muppets Merchandise

A Christmas Story (1983) Channel 5 11:05am-12:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy growing up in 1940s suburban Indiana longs to receive his ideal present of an air rifle on Christmas morning, even though his parents, his teacher and even Santa Claus himself are horrified at the prospect. Family comedy, starring Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin and Ian Petrella.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:05pm-3:10pm
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Cool Runnings (1993) BBC1 1:15pm-2:50pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A sprinter fails to qualify for the Jamaican Olympic squad, but refuses to give up his dream. Learning that a former US bobsleigh coach is living nearby, he seizes the chance to shine in an entirely different sport, and cajoles three of his friends to join him in training for the 1988 Winter Olympics in the far less tropical environment of Canada. Fact-based comedy, with John Candy, Leon, Doug E Doug and Malik Yoba.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001) ITV 1:35pm-4:30pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
An orphaned boy endures a miserable childhood, until he discovers he has magical powers and enrols at a special school for young wizards. However, his suspicions are aroused by a sinister teacher who seems to be up to no good. Fantasy adventure, adapted from the first of JK Rowling’s books, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman and Richard Harris.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 2:40pm-5:00pm
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:30pm-7:10pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Channel 4 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

The Fugitive (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 11:40pm-1:35am
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Christmas Eve

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Jack Frost (1998) ITV 9:55am-11:50am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rock musician who realises he is spending too much time away from his family is killed in a car accident while travelling home for the festive season. The following year his spirit takes on the form of a snowman, made by his son, allowing them to spend one last Christmas together. Fantasy drama, starring Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross and Mark Addy.

The Santa Clause (1994) BBC1 10:30am-12:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A grumpy divorced father faces a dilemma one Christmas Eve after accidentally startling Santa and causing him to fall to his death. The guilty man’s only option is to put on the red suit, jump into the sleigh and finish the round himself, much to his son’s delight. Fantasy comedy, starring Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, Eric Lloyd and David Krumholtz.

Fun Fact: For one week in November 1994, Tim Allen had the #1 movie at the box office (this movie), the #1 rated television show (Home Improvement (1991)), and the #1 New York Times best-selling book (“Don’t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man”).

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Casper (1995) Film4 11:00am-1:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Bugsy Malone (1976) ITV3 11:35am-1:35pm
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 1:00pm-3:10pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Jingle All the Way (1996) Film3 3:00pm-4:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A workaholic father tries to make up for his perpetual absence from home by promising to buy his son a hugely popular action figure for Christmas – little realising every other father in town has the same idea. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Jake Lloyd, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad and Phil Hartman.

Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 3:20pm-6:15pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Channel 4 6:30pm-8:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Predator (1987) Film4 10:55pm-1:05am (2 hours 10 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Christmas Day

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National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) ITV 9:25am-11:10am (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.

Fun Fact: After failing to get the Christmas lights to work one last time, Clark Griswold takes his frustration out on the plastic decorations in the front yard. Chevy Chase actually broke his pinky finger while punching Santa Claus. He resorts to kicking and clubbing the decorations after that. The film kept rolling, and the take was used.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV 11:10am-12:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Scrooged (1988) Channel 4 2:35pm-4:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and sees the festive season as nothing more than an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Sony Movie Channel 4:00pm-6:15pm
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Dumbo (1941) Channel 4 4:30pm-5:50pm (1 hour 20 minutes)
Disney animated adventure following the fortunes of a plucky young elephant with oversized ears. Mocked by his fellow circus performers, Dumbo finally finds a friend in an enterprising mouse, who helps the poor animal overcome his inhibitions and find fame and fortune as the world’s only flying elephant. With the voices of Sterling Holloway and Edward Brophy, and an Oscar-winning score by Frank Churchill and Oliver Wallace.

Disney Merchandise

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:40pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947) More 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
When a popular New York department store Santa Claus is placed in an asylum for claiming to be the genuine article, a crusading city lawyer takes on the case, determined to prove the man’s sanity. Christmas drama, starring Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O’Hara, Natalie Wood, John Payne, Gene Lockhart, Porter Hall and William Frawley.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:25pm
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

Boxing Day

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Short Circuit (1986) Channel 4 8:25am-10:25am (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) ITV 9:25am-11:25am (2 hours)
A teenager plays truant from school and spends the day dragging his girlfriend and a reluctant friend into all manner of crazy adventures in the big city – while the school’s dean of students vows to stop at nothing to prove the youngster is faking illness. Comedy, starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey, Jeffrey Jones and Charlie Sheen.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

A Hard Day’s Night (1964) BBC2 11:55am-1:20pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
The Beatles, harassed by their manager and Paul’s grandfather, embark on a train journey to London for a TV show, but find themselves dogged by all manner of problems, including the inevitable overexcited fans. Musical comedy, starring the Fab Four alongside Wilfrid Brambell, Victor Spinetti and Anna Quayle. Songs include Can’t Buy Me Love, Don’t Bother Me and the title track.

The Beatles Merchandise

A Bug’s Life (1998) ITV2 2:35pm-4:40pm
Well-meaning ant Flik lands his colony in trouble when he accidentally disposes of an offering meant for a swarm of greedy grasshoppers – who promptly promise a horrible revenge. Faced with the imminent destruction of the anthill, he sets out to save the situation by enlisting the help of a few would-be heroes – an out-of-work troupe of bugs from a low-rent flea circus. Pixar animation, with the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Fun Fact: This is the first Pixar film to have outtakes.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV 3:30pm-5:50pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T Merchandise

The Little Mermaid (1989) Channel 4 4:20pm-6:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Underwater princess Ariel becomes bored with her aquatic existence and spends her time spying on humans, much to the annoyance of her father. Longing to live on land, she strikes a deal with a banished sea witch in order to become human and meet a prince – but there is a price to be paid. Disney’s animated adventure, with the voices of Jodi Benson, Christopher Daniel Barnes and Rene Auberjonois.

Disney Merchandise

Back to the Future (1985) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future Merchandise

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
Detectives Riggs and Murtaugh team up with a reformed small-time crook and a tough, female internal-affairs investigator to track down a former policeman trafficking impounded weaponry to the bosses of organised crime. Action thriller sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci and Rene Russo.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:20am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A London man’s misfortunes in love look set to change when he meets an American beauty. However, the prospect of a transatlantic relationship succeeding seems slim, so the pair go their separate ways – only for him to realise he is unable to get her out of his mind. Richard Curtis’s comedy, with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and James Fleet.

Whatever you’re up to this Christmas, from all the TruffleShuffle team we hope you have a fantastic time and get to enjoy every moment.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Kris Kringle! Another retro movie weekend is here and is coming jam-packed with classic movie goodness!

With a brush and a scrape, we find ourselves frantically chipping away at the nights frost which has decided to make a semi-permanent home on our windscreen. With our fingers and toes quickly matching the temperature of the ice itself, we’ll slowly begin to reveal the clear shiny glass beneath the ice blanket, watching our breath slowly rise and fade away into the clear sky.

SATURDAY 1st December

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Muppets Merchandise

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 2:45pm-5:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Superman (1978) ITV4 3:25pm-6:20pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Nacho Libre (2006) ITV4 6:20pm-8:10pm
A portly Mexican friar working as a cook in an orphanage adopts the guise of a masked wrestler. He teams up with a thief and enters a tournament hoping to win enough money to sort out the monastery’s financial problems, feed the kids under his care and impress the nun he is in love with. Comedy, starring Jack Black and Ana de la Reguera.

The Nutty Professor (1996) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
An obese, terminally shy professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. His new streamlined self immediately sets out to woo the woman of his dreams – but soon starts to ride roughshod over everything he used to care about. Remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn and Larry Miller.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his cautious partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by a South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the US via his embassy. Protected by diplomatic immunity, the crook looks certain to evade the law – while his chief henchman has a connection to Riggs’ traumatic past. Action thriller sequel, with Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor and Patsy Kensit.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:35pm-12:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo TShirts

SUNDAY 2nd December

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Wild Wild West (1999) Dave 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 3:15pm-5:05pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Shrek (2001) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 12:30am-2:40am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay warm and keep cooooool!

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Jack Flash! Another retro movie weekend is here… and it’s no ordinary weekend!

With our details at the ready and our clicking fingers primed and limber, we will dive on into cyberspace Black Friday weekend chaos! Snapping up bargains like Pac-Man on a mission, we’ll be darting all over the web with our card in hand ticking off the long list of Christmas 2017. Will we complete our mission and how much will we save? We’ll, that’s between us and Santa’s Elves….

SATURDAY 25th November

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Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:20am-1:30pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 1:25pm-3:10pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV 10:30pm-12:20am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Fun fact: The only film in the Rambo series to be nominated for an Oscar.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) ITV4 11:00pm-1:20am
Raw recruits undergo harsh training under a domineering Marine drill sergeant after being called up for service in the Vietnam War, but his brutal methods lead to the breakdown of one of his cadets. Eventually, some of the fully trained soldiers get their first taste of combat in 1968. Stanley Kubrick’s drama, starring Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, Vincent D’Onofrio and R Lee Ermey.

SUNDAY 26th November

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Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:00am-1:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

Fletch (1985) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A wisecracking reporter and master of disguise is approached by a businessman who claims to be terminally ill and is looking to pay someone to kill him. The journalist discovers the supposedly dying man is in perfect health, and his strange request is part of a complex scam. Comedy mystery based on Gregory Mcdonald’s novel, with Chevy Chase and Tim Matheson.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 5:05pm-6:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Ghostbusters II (1989) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Timecop (1994) Spike 9:00pm-11:05pm
A federal agent entrusted with preventing the misuse of time travel sets out to track down a corrupt politician who plans to manipulate history. However, he also faces the temptation to abuse his powers so he can prevent his wife’s death. Sci-fi adventure, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Bruce McGill and Mia Sara.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, good luck and happy hunting!

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Great bubbles and ladders! Another retro movie weekend he here! So soon!

Watching our buckets fill with roaring white water, we will reach our ladder high into the air before clunking it against the cold stone wall. with our bucket and window squeegee in hand, we will splash, rub and swoosh our way to window cleaning perfection. Mopping away each streak and dribble, we will step down from our lofty excursion to admire our handy work and shimmery window cleaning perfection.

SATURDAY 2nd September

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Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 11:55am-1:55pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Gifts

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:20pm
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) 5STAR 2:35pm-4:45pm
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:15pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Footloose (1984) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

The Full Monty (1997) BBC1 9:00pm-10:25pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

SUNDAY 3rd September

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The Evil Dead (1982) Film4 2:10am-4:00am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Five students staying in a remote cabin find an ancient magical book, and unwittingly unleash evil spirits on the world. The dark forces they have conjured up possess them one by one, transforming them into ravenous zombies with an insatiable desire to feast on the living. Sam Raimi’s horror, starring Bruce Campbell and Ellen Sandweiss.

Moonstruck (1987) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-3:30pm
An Italian-American widow agrees to marry an older man – only to fall head over heels in love with his younger brother, leaving her facing an impossible choice. Romantic comedy, starring Cher in an Oscar-winning role, with Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis and Danny Aiello.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:55pm-4:45pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

The Secret Garden (1993) ITV3 2:55pm-5:00pm
An orphan is sent to live with her uncle in his forbidding Yorkshire mansion, where she meets her bedridden cousin – a boy she knew nothing about. She also stumbles across a marvellous but neglected garden, and sets about nursing them both back to health, with the help of a lad from a nearby village. Children’s drama, based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book, with Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith and John Lynch.

Phenomenon (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
An unassuming car mechanic observes a peculiar bright light one evening on the way home from a bar, and finds himself transformed into a genius with telekinetic powers. However, he is unprepared for the problems that lie ahead, as he struggles to woo a divorced single mother while coping with his new-found gift. Fantasy drama, starring John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker and Robert Duvall.

Evolution (2001) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always have a zombie back-up plan and remember to just keep on swimming.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Boxes and bubble wrap! Another retro movie weekend is here!

With a full weekend ahead of packing, shifting and unpacking, we will move all our worldly possessions to our new venture. Leaving behind memories, a few bad smells and probably that spoon the went missing a while back, we will set sail into the next ocean of life as we move from humble beginnings onto ventures new.

SATURDAY 26th August

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The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) BBC2 11:55am-1:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A novice witch befriends three children and takes them on a series of magical journeys, including a visit to a land inhabited by cartoon animals, where they get involved in a decidedly one-sided football match against a spoilt lion king. Disney’s part-animated musical fantasy, starring Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, Roddy McDowall and Sam Jaffe.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 11:00am-2:05pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Heat (1995) Dave 11:00pm-2:30am (3 hours 30 minutes)
An armoured car hold-up sets a veteran police detective on the trail of a highly intelligent career criminal, whom he is obsessed with capturing. Meanwhile, the robber is planning an elaborate bank heist as his final job before retiring, and a complex game of cat and mouse develops between the two. Michael Mann’s crime thriller, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman.

SUNDAY 27th August

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-11:50am
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 2:05pm-4:05pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 3:25pm-5:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Superman (1978) ITV 3:40pm-6:30pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Toy Story 2 (1999) BBC1 4:35pm-6:05pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Toy Story Gifts

Money Train (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:05pm-1:25am
A New York cop in debt to loan sharks persuades his foster brother and fellow police officer to rob a train carrying all the day’s takings from the city’s subway network. However, things start to go wrong when a female detective creates rivalry between the pair, and a pyromaniac serial killer threatens their plans. Action comedy, starring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, Jennifer Lopez and Chris Cooper.

MONDAY 28th August

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Footloose (1984) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A London man’s misfortunes in love look set to change when he meets an American beauty. However, the prospect of a transatlantic relationship succeeding seems slim, so the pair go their separate ways – only for him to realise he is unable to get her out of his mind. Richard Curtis’s comedy, with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and James Fleet.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 10:05pm-12:25am
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this long bank holiday weekend, enjoy at least one lie in and make the most of everything. Every. Single. Thing.