The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 147

Soap and water! It’s only the weekend….again??

Like a keen car enthusiast takes care of their pride and joy, we’re taking care of this weekend’s retro movies. With our trusty buckets, mitts and hose, we’ll wash away all the weeks grime and woe as we polish up the paint, buff out the shine before standing back to admire our handy work like a classic story trapped in celluloid wonder. We’ll fire up the cylinders and drive swiftly through the back road channels, gazing at the movie masterpieces as we pass before locking ourselves safely away and enjoying the small hours of the night with just the light flicker from the screen.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 16th MAY

.

Jerry Maguire (1996) Sky Movies Drama & Romance HD 10:15am-12:40pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An idealistic sports agent produces a mission statement at work promising to treat clients fairly. Unfortunately, it costs him his job. Forced to set up an agency on his own, the only people prepared to stand by him are a lovelorn staff accountant and a footballer. Cameron Crowe’s romantic comedy drama, with Tom Cruise, Renee Zellweger, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Lipnicki, and Cuba Gooding Jr, who won an Oscar for his performance.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Flash Gordon (1980) Film4 2:50pm-5:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
American football quarterback Flash Gordon and journalist Dale Arden find themselves aboard a rocket ship designed by scientist Dr Zarkov, who intends to travel across space to locate the source of recent natural disasters. The three arrive on the planet Mongo, where they soon learn that the attacks are the responsibility of evil emperor Ming the Merciless, who is planning to destroy the Earth. Sci-fi comic-strip adventure, with Sam J Jones, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Peter Wyngarde and Mariangela Melato.

WarGames (1983) 5* 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

King Kong (2005) ITV2 5:40pm-9:20pm (3 hours 40 minutes)
A maverick film-maker and his cast and crew board a ship bound for a mysterious island – but when they arrive, a giant gorilla carries off their leading lady. As the crew makes its way through the teeming jungle to find her, the director concocts a dangerous scheme to capture the great ape and take it back to New York. Peter Jackson’s remake of the fantasy adventure, starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Andy Serkis and Adrien Brody.

Spider-Man 3 (2007) Channel 5 6:45pm-9:20pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A sinister alien parasite brings out the web-slinging hero’s darker side, filling him with thoughts of revenge on his uncle’s murderer, the shape-shifting Sandman. Meanwhile, he also has to contend with the challenge of his best friend following in his father’s villainous footsteps – and a jealous rival developing superpowers of his own. Superhero sequel, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and James Franco.

Thunderball (1965) ITV4 8:00pm-10:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond travels to the Bahamas on the trail of two nuclear warheads stolen from a British aircraft. The lethal weapons have fallen into the hands of international crime syndicate Spectre, which plans to fire them at the US coast unless an exorbitant ransom is paid. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi and Lois Maxwell.

Fun Fact: Bond’s jetpack was actually flown by engineer Bill Suiter. He was one of only two people in the world qualified to fly it.

The Mask of Zorro (1998) Watch 9:00pm-11:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

On Deadly Ground (1994) ITV4 10:45pm-12:50am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A tough firefighter sets out to stop the destruction of native tribes and the natural environment by an unscrupulous oil company planning to drill in Alaska. Ecological thriller, directed by and starring Steven Seagal, with Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C McGinley, R Lee Ermey and Billy Bob Thornton.

SUNDAY 17th MAY

.
The Money Pit (1986) Channel 5 2:00pm-3:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

Clockwise (1986) ITV3 3:40pm-5:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A headmaster obsessed with punctuality catches the wrong train en route to a convention where he is due to make an important speech, a simple mistake that turns the entire journey into a frantic race against the clock. Comedy, starring John Cleese, Alison Steadman, Stephen Moore, Penelope Wilton and Joan Hickson.

The Hunt for Red October (1990) Film4 3:40pm-6:30pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A Soviet submarine commander creates an international crisis by piloting his experimental nuclear vessel, which is invisible to sonar, toward the American coast. The US and Russian navies think he is planning to attack and set out to destroy the submarine, but a CIA analyst suspects he intends to defect to the West. Cold War thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin and James Earl Jones.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Channel 5 3:45pm-5:40pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Three Men and a Baby (1987) E4 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.

The Great Escape (1963) Channel 5 +1 6:40pm-9:50pm (3 hours 10 minutes)
The most rebellious Allied prisoners of war are sent to a supposedly escape-proof maximum-security detention camp during the Second World War. They plan an ingenious mass breakout by digging a tunnel, but even when free of the camp, making it across occupied Europe proves a dangerous journey. Drama, starring Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Donald Pleasence, James Garner, Charles Bronson and Richard Attenborough.

Fun Fact: Hilts (Steve McQueen) strings a wire across the road to obtain a motorcycle. McQueen himself played the German motorcyclist who hits the wire.

Fun Fact 2: During the climatic motorcycle chase, John Sturges allowed Steve McQueen to ride (in disguise) as one of the pursuing German soldiers, so that in the final sequence, through the magic of editing, he’s actually chasing himself.

Braveheart (1995) Film4 9:00pm-12:25am (3 hours 25 minutes)
Account of the life of medieval Scottish hero William Wallace. After the slaughter of his father and brother, young Wallace is taken in by his uncle, who teaches him how to use not only his brawn but his brain – which he employs to great effect years later when he resolves to drive the English out of Scotland. Oscar-winning historical epic, directed by and starring Mel Gibson. With Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to check your blind spots and that locking the door isn’t just for your benefit. Sometimes.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 145

Pie and gravy! It’s the weekend!

Sitting down in a nice quiet corner of our local public house, we’ll set up base camp before gazing over the full collection of delicious meals that await us. After ummm-ing and ahhh-ing between some of our favourte dishes, we’ll take the plunge and order at the bar, bringing back a selection of the finest local ales. Gazing over the hustle and bustle of our surroundings, we’ll wind away the day as content as can be before heading home to watch some of the weekends top retro films. Bliss!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 2nd MAY

.
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
(1993) ITV2 2:45pm-4:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left in the temporary care of a friend when their owners are forced to move away. Thinking they have been abandoned, the trio hit the road in a bid to find their way home. Adventure, featuring the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche. Kim Greist, Robert Hays and Benj Thall take the human roles.

The Great Outdoors (1988) ITV London 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Easy-going family man Chet Ripley takes his wife and two sons to a lakeside cabin in the wilderness to enjoy a peaceful holiday. However, his plans to relax are ruined by the unwelcome and unannounced arrival of his obnoxious brother-in-law – as well as unexpected intrusions by the local wildlife. Comedy, starring John Candy, Dan Aykroyd and Annette Bening.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Fun Fact: For the argument between announcers concerning the white and red zones at the airport, the producers hired the same voice artists who had made the real-world announcements at Los Angeles International Airport. At the real airport, the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only, and there’s no stopping in the red zone (except for transit buses). They were also married to each other in real life.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:30pm-9:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 8:00pm-10:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.

The Jackal (1997) 5USA 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An assassin whose identity is shrouded in mystery is hired by a Russian crime syndicate to kill the director of the FBI. As the American and Russian authorities join forces to stop him, they are forced to turn to the only man able to identify the hitman – an imprisoned IRA terrorist, who offers his help in return for his freedom. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier.

RoboCop (1987) Syfy 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A police officer in a future Detroit ravaged by crime is seemingly killed in the line of duty, but is rebuilt as a law-enforcing cyborg by the corporation that has taken over running the force. He begins to remember his human life and seeks to bring his killers to justice – a mission that leads him to turn on his corrupt corporate masters. Sci-fi thriller, starring Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox and Miguel Ferrer.

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV London 10:20pm-12:20am (2 hours)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

SUNDAY 3rd MAY

.
Short Circuit 2
(1988) Watch 10:00am-12:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Bicentennial Man (1999) Watch 12:10pm-2:45pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A family purchases a robot servant to perform menial tasks but quickly realises this is no ordinary droid when he begins to develop human emotions and the capacity to think for himself, a quality encouraged by his owner’s children. He asks for his freedom, and spends the next 200 years struggling to come to terms with its humanity. Chris Columbus’s sci-fi drama inspired by the books of Isaac Asimov, starring Robin Williams, Sam Neill, Embeth Davidtz and Oliver Platt.

Blue Streak (1999) Channel 5 1:20pm-3:05pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

Dragnet (1987) ITV London 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Legally Blonde (2001) Channel 5 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A seemingly dizzy teenager is heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her because he thinks she is not intelligent enough to help his political career. To prove him wrong she enrols at Harvard, but finds herself out of her depth as other students do their best to humiliate her. Comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis and Victor Garber.

Crimson Tide (1995) Watch 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A veteran US submarine captain receives an incomplete message after a Russian base falls into rebel hands, and is convinced it is an order to fire his nuclear weapons. However, his first officer refuses to take such potentially devastating action without confirmed orders, leading to a deadly battle of wills. Thriller, starring Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington and Viggo Mortensen.

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) ITV4 9:45pm-11:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.

Face/Off (1997) Watch 11:15pm-2:00am (2 hours 45 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Fun Fact: Originally Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were in mind to play the lead roles, but when John Woo was brought in to direct, he decided that John Travolta and Nicolas Cage would be more suited to the roles.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you pay and glasses left on a chair…might get sat on. Just saying.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 142

Great Barrier Reef! It’s the weekend so soon?! Must be time for another Retro Movie Rundown then huh!

Like an eager and oh-so clever Octopus working it’s way around the coral, we’re using our cunning and many talents to hunt down some of the coolest and most retro films ever. We’ll silently maneuver our way around the brightly coloured other worldly looking plants and rock before targeting in one our unsuspecting prey, launching quick as a flash and grabbing into our favourite films with all eight arms ready to feed our ever-growing hunger for 80s and 90s awesomeness.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th April

.
The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter
(1991) E4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Young hero Bastian is once again transported into the magical world of Fantasia, where he must put a stop to the schemes of a wicked sorceress who now holds sway in the land. With the aid of a magical amulet, he is able to wield phenomenal power, but the witch sets a trap that threatens a calamitous future. Fantasy adventure sequel, with Jonathan Brandis and Kenny Morrison.

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Film4 3:15pm-4:50pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends get lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) GOLD 4:05pm-6:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and company try to take Broadway by storm with their college show, setting the stage for a host of misadventures as they yearn for stardom in the Big Apple and set out to raise the money to finance their production. Comedy, performed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz, with appearances by Liza Minnelli, Art Carney, Dabney Coleman, Gregory Hines, Joan Rivers, Brooke Shields, Linda Lavin and Elliott Gould.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 5:10pm-7:30pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T T-Shirts

Independence Day (1996) Channel 4 6:40pm-9:20pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) ITV2 7:30pm-9:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

Enemy of the State (1998) BBC3 9:05pm-11:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A chance encounter with an old friend derails a successful lawyer’s fast-track career, plunging him headlong into a deadly game of cat and mouse with relentless government agents capable of anticipating his every move. He quickly realises the only way to save his own life is to expose the truths his pursuers seem so intent on covering up, and seeks out a former intelligence agent to take them on at their own game. Thriller, starring Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight and Lisa Bonet.

Fun Fact: The mark left on the mailbox to signal Brill is exactly how ex-CIA official and traitor Aldrich Ames signaled the Soviets when he made a drop.

Backdraft (1991) ITV London 10:20pm-12:50am (2 hours 30 minutes)
The two sons of a fireman who died in the line of duty follow him into the profession. However, a feud develops between them because the elder brother is convinced his sibling is not up to the job – until a mission to uncover the identity of a serial arsonist gives him the chance to prove his worth. Action drama, starring Kurt Russell, William Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Donald Sutherland.

SUNDAY 12th April

.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
(1971) Channel 5 4:40pm-6:40pm (2 hours)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory T-Shirts

Inspector Gadget (1999) Film4 5:20pm-6:55pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fisher.

Big (1988) E4 6:00pm-8:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Fun Fact: To give star Tom Hanks an idea of how a 12 year-old would behave, director Penny Marshall filmed each “grown-up” scene with David Moscow (Young Josh) playing Tom Hanks’s part, who then copied David Moscow’s behavior.

Spider-Man (2002) Channel 5 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A clumsy teenager develops superhuman powers after a genetically engineered spider bites him. At first his fantastic skills delight him, but his elation is severely tempered by a family tragedy, prompting him to dedicate his talents to combating evil. However, he faces a baptism of fire in the form of crazed villain the Green Goblin. Comic-book superhero adventure, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco and Rosemary Harris.

Spider-Man Merchandise

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC3 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Copycat (1995) Film4 11:05pm-1:30am (2 hours 25 minutes)
A gifted psychologist who is an authority on serial killers is left traumatised by an attempt on her life and becomes agoraphobic. Unable to leave her apartment, she nevertheless aids the police in the pursuit of a publicity-seeking mass murderer re-enacting famous killings. Thriller, with Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, Harry Connick Jr, Dermot Mulroney, William McNamara and Will Patton.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend,

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown! Easter Weekend Special

Easter Bunny’s tail! It’s on the bank holiday weekend!

Like the busy little bunny themselves, we’ve been hopping our way around the moviesphere, reaching high and low for the most tasty and awesome retro movies for all your eager hunters to get your hands on. Creeping around the wilderness, we’ll stumble across some of the best that this weekend has to offer, before taking them home, unwrapping and gorging ourselves on top classic film goodness until we’re fit to burst!

Have a happy retro weekend!

FRIDAY 3rd April

.
Kiki’s Delivery Service
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A witch moves to a new town with her talking cat, hoping to forge a life for herself. Despite the objections of the locals, a kindly baker offers her a job delivering bread by broom – but events take a strange turn when she suddenly loses her powers. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Minami Takayama and Rei Sakuma. In Japanese.

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) More4 11:30am-1:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Merchandise

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) GOLD 12:35pm-2:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Fun Fact: The scene between Tom Hanks and Victor Garber crying over the movie The Dirty Dozen (1967) was completely improvised during the take.

My Girl (1991) Watch 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A lonely 11-year-old tomboy feels responsible for her mother’s death, but a boy’s friendship helps her get through her emotional problems. Meanwhile, when she realises her father is falling in love with his new employee, she sets out to do all she can to end the romance. Drama, starring Anna Chlumsky, Macaulay Culkin, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.

The Simpsons Movie (2007) Film4 5:10pm-6:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

Simpsons T-Shirts

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) ITV London 10:15pm-12:15am (2 hours)
A stuffy English barrister representing a jewel thief is targeted by his client’s partners in crime – a seductive American crook and her dim-witted would-be philosopher lover who will go to any lengths to discover where the diamonds from their last heist have been hidden. Crime comedy, starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and Tom Georgeson.

SATURDAY4th April

.
Look Who’s Talking
(1989) GOLD 9:10am-11:05am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Pregnant Mollie is dumped by her boyfriend, and sets out after the baby’s birth to find a surrogate father for her infant son Mikey, who comments on proceedings through a wisecracking inner monologue. Mikey is confident the cab driver who helped deliver him is the perfect man for the job – but his mother is less than convinced. Comedy, with John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and the voice of Bruce Willis.

Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV3 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Syfy 3:50pm-6:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Matilda (1996) Comedy Central 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Comedy Central 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends trigger it off and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

The Goonies (1985) Sky1 8:30pm-10:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.

The Goonies T-Shirts

Pretty Woman (1990) BBC3 9:10pm-11:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A ruthless millionaire hires a prostitute while on a business trip. Realising she may be useful in helping him keep up a successful appearance, he pays her to accompany him for a week as he associates with the rich and powerful – but falls in love despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, with Ralph Bellamy and Laura San Giacomo.

Fun Fact: Richard Gere is actually playing the piano. He also composed the piece of music that is played.

SUNDAY 5th April

.
Patch Adams
(1998) Channel 5 12:05pm-2:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Hook (1991) Comedy Central 1:15pm-4:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Clueless (1995) Film4 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless T-Shirts

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 3:15pm-5:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

K-9 (1989) Syfy 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hard-bitten cop’s bad attitude forces his superiors to take desperate measures to find him a new partner on the eve of what could turn out to be the biggest case of his career – and the solution is to pair him up with a lovable Alsatian that will put him through his paces. Comedy, starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O’Neill.

Superman Returns (2006) Watch 5:55pm-9:00pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
The Man of Steel returns to Earth after an absence of several years to find his lost love Lois Lane has moved on with her life. Meanwhile, arch-villain Lex Luthor is out of jail and about to wreak havoc on the world with technology stolen from Superman’s home planet of Krypton. Comic-book adventure from X-Men director Bryan Singer, with Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth and Parker Posey.

Superman T-Shirts

Last Action Hero (1993) Watch 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

MONDAY 6th April

.
The Dark Crystal
(1982) Channel 4 12:25pm-2:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Dark Crystal T-Shirts

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) 5USA 1:05pm-4:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

Groundhog Day (1993) GOLD 2:45pm-4:45pm (2 hours)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC3 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Fun Fact: Most of the body blows you hear were created by hitting a pile of leather jackets with a baseball bat.

Whatever you’re up to this loooong weekend, make sure you find every last egg before a hot Summer and remember that even the smallest gifts and be the most special.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 141

Bag a bargain! It’s only the weekend again!

So! Like all you eager shoppers out there who are forever on the hunt to a deal, we’re searching high and low through the weekend sniffing out some of the top retro films! Loving nothing more than getting something amazing at an unbelievable price, we’ll enter our voucher code onto the site then jump for joy as soon as that confirmation email pops through just like some of the top films of the weekend being delivered straight to your living rooms, ready to make your live just that extra bit more awesome.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th March

.
Fantastic Mr Fox
(2009) More4 11:50am-1:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) BBC2 London 1:30pm-3:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Two bachelors using the same pseudonym capture the hearts of a couple of girls during a delightful weekend in the countryside. However, their cunning deception leads to all manner of hilarious confusion as the ladies in question attempt to work out who is who. Adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s comedy, starring Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Frances O’Connor, Reese Witherspoon, Judi Dench and Tom Wilkinson.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:30pm-4:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Teen Wolf (1985) Syfy 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Fun Fact: If the “teen” actors seem too old to be high school students, it’s no wonder. Scott is played by Michael J. Fox: age 23. Stiles is played by Jerry Levine: age 27. Chubby is played by Mark Holton: age 26. Mick is played by Mark Arnold: age 27.

The Parent Trap (1998) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Category: Comedy Rating 7 Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Beauty and the Beast (1991) Sky Movies Disney HD 8:00pm-9:30pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A bookish woman agrees to take her father’s place as prisoner of a fearsome monster living in a castle deep in the forest. She gradually grows to see a gentler, more human side to her hideous host, and comes to realise she may be able to break the curse that turned him into a beast in the first place. Disney animated fantasy, with the voices of Paige O’Hara and Robby Benson.

Forrest Gump (1994) Sky Movies Drama & Romance HD 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A slow-witted man has a series of bizarre adventures, including becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life from childhood continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

SUNDAY 29th March

.
Addams Family Values
(1993) E4 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

Black Beauty (1994) 5* 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

Cocoon (1985) Film4 5:05pm-7:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The elderly residents of a retirement home treat themselves to an occasional dip in the pool at an abandoned house. It turns out that friendly aliens in human form are using the place to restore dormant members of their species – and energy from their cocoons is giving the old-timers a new lease of life. Ron Howard’s sci-fi drama, with Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Don Ameche and Steve Guttenberg.

The Little Mermaid (1989) Sky Movies Disney HD 6:30pm-8:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Underwater princess Ariel becomes bored with her aquatic existence and spends her time spying on humans, much to the annoyance of her father. Longing to live on land, she strikes a deal with a banished sea witch in order to become human and meet a prince – but there is a price to be paid. Disney’s animated adventure, with the voices of Jodi Benson, Christopher Daniel Barnes and Rene Auberjonois.

The Untouchables (1987) Sky Movies Select HD 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
Incorruptible federal agent Eliot Ness is assigned the task of fighting organised crime in Prohibition-era Chicago and bringing the notorious crime boss Al Capone to justice. Aware crooked police are undermining his investigations, he puts together his own elite squad to take on the Mob. Brian De Palma’s crime thriller, with Kevin Costner, Robert De Niro, Andy Garcia and Sean Connery, who won an Oscar for his performance.

Fun Fact: Robert De Niro insisted on wearing the same style of silk underwear that Al Capone wore made by the same tailors, even though it would never be seen on camera. The producers, knowing DeNiro’s reputation as a Method actor, gave in.

Scarface (1983) Sky Movies Select HD 10:00pm-12:55am (2 hours 55 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you put the lid back on tight and that eating both sides of a Kit Kat at the same time isn’t a crime, it’s just frowned upon.

xoxo