The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 137

Due South of the forest! It’s really the weekend so soon?

You betcha! Like a proud and noble Canadian Mountie, we’ll be riding our trusty steed full speed into the weekend’s retro movie awesomeness! We’ll be Maintiens le droit (Defending the Law) at each step of the way as we ride through far and distant lands, helping those in need as we go before stopping to breath in the celluloid wonder of the vast and majestic landscape.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th February

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Dragnet
(1987) ITV4 12:45pm-2:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laid back new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961) 5USA 1:35pm-3:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An admiral takes charge of an experimental submarine just as the world is plunged into catastrophe. A belt of radiation surrounding the planet has ignited, threatening all life on Earth. The admiral believes he can end the crisis with a well-aimed nuclear missile, but faces an uphill struggle to convince high command that his plan will not lead to more destruction. Sci-fi adventure, with Walter Pidgeon, Joan Fontaine and Robert Sterling.

Jurassic Park (1993) ITV2 7:10pm-9:40pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

Batman Begins (2005) Sky1 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Billionaire Bruce Wayne travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice, consumed with rage over his parents’ murder. Trained by a secret society, he hones his fighting skills and returns to his home city of Gotham on a mission to rid it of crime and corruption in the guise of a masked vigilante. Comic-book adventure, exploring the origins of the Dark Knight, with Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, Gary Oldman and Katie Holmes.

Batman T-Shirts

Broken Arrow (1996) more>movies 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A US Air Force veteran ejects his co-pilot from their Stealth bomber in a plan to steal the plane’s cargo of nuclear warheads. He uses the weapons to extort money from the American government by threatening to detonate one in a major city. Action thriller, starring John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis and Delroy Lindo.

Fun Fact: John Travolta was given the choice of playing either Deakins or Hale in the film. He chose the villain Deakins.

The Island (1980) ITV4 11:50pm-2:10am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A band of modern-day pirates operating out of a Caribbean island preys on luxury yachts. A journalist and his son investigate why so many vessels go missing in the area, but end up kidnapped and forced to join the crew. Thriller, starring Michael Caine, David Warner, Frank Middlemass, Don Henderson, Dudley Sutton and Colin Jeavons.

SUNDAY 29th February

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Groundhog Day
(1993) GOLD 12:00pm-2:00pm (2 hours)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky.

A View to a Kill (1985) ITV London 3:40pm-6:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond clashes with a megalomaniac international businessman plotting a global takeover of the computer industry by engineering a devastating earthquake in California’s Silicon Valley – and killing millions in the process. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore in his final appearance as 007 alongside Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, Tanya Roberts and Patrick Macnee.

Fun Fact: Roger Moore celebrated his 57th birthday during filming, making him the oldest actor to play Bond. Sean Connery was 52 in Never Say Never Again (1983).

Transformers (2007) E4 7:00pm-10:00pm (3 hours)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Transformers T-Shirts

Terminal Velocity (1994) Film4 6:55pm-8:55pm (2 hours)
A skydiving instructor tries to clear himself of responsibility for the death of a woman whose parachute failed to open. However, he later learns she is a Russian spy who faked her own demise, and now needs his help to foil an international criminal conspiracy out to steal a fortune in bullion. Action thriller, starring Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski and James Gandolfini.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

Groundhog Day (1993) GOLD 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky. 😉

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to be kind, rewind and that a maybe is sometimes better than a no.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 134

Macaulay Culkin’s scream! It’s only the weekend already!

With a house rigged up to the teeth with traps, spikes, ice and the odd red hot handle, we’re ready and waiting for the weekend to hit and bring with is all the mischief that’s been building up during the last school week. We’ll let the paint cans fly, our BB gun fire and spiders free as we take on all that the weekend can throw at us while doing our best to take in all the celluloid wonder that it brings with it.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 31st January

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The Simpsons Movie
(2007) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 4:35pm-6:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5* 5:45pm-8:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Fun Fact: Saul Rubinek was really hit in the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Since Rubinek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look so the director decided to leave it in the final cut.

Rocky V (1990) 5USA 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The heavyweight champion is forced into retirement due to brain damage inflicted in the ring, and finds his fortune has been lost on the stock market by his accountant. Returning to his working-class roots, he trains an up-and-coming fighter, only to see his protege turn against him. Drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire and real-life boxer Tommy Morrison.

Ghostbusters (1984) Sky1 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three eccentric scientists put their hi-tech gadgetry and knowledge of the paranormal to money-making use by setting up in business as freelance ghost catchers. A musician calls them in to investigate when she sees strange creatures in her kitchen, only to end up possessed. As the spook-hunting team members deal with an attempt to shut their operation down, they discover an evil demonic entity is being summoned into existence and it falls to them to stop this creature from destroying the world. Supernatural comedy adventure, starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis.

Forrest Gump (1994) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A slow-witted man has a series of bizarre adventures, including becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life from childhood continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994) ITV London 10:35pm-1:10am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A banker is wrongly jailed for his wife’s murder and over the course of a life sentence he forms a close friendship with a fellow inmate. He also earns a position of trust as book-keeper to the corrupt prison governor – but makes an enemy of his benefactor as he tries to clear his name. Frank Darabont’s drama, starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown and Gil Bellows.

SUNDAY 1st February

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A Little Princess
(1995) Channel 5 1:35pm-3:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A wealthy English girl is sent to an austere New York boarding school, where she charms the other youngsters with her stories of life in India – until her father goes missing in action, leaving her destitute and in the hands of the wicked headmistress. Drama based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel, with Eleanor Bron, Liesel Matthews and Liam Cunningham.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) ITV London 4:15pm-6:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond teams up with a KGB agent to recover missing British and Soviet nuclear submarines, before whoever stole them can use their warheads. Unfortunately, 007 was responsible for the death of his new ally’s lover – and she is determined to make him pay before their mission is complete. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens and Richard Kiel.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) Film4 3:05pm-5:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) 5* 5:25pm-7:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

The Matrix (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A computer hacker discovers the world around him is nothing more than a virtual-reality fantasy created by malevolent living machines. Entering the devastated real world, he joins freedom fighters risking their lives to bring the truth out into the open and liberate the human race. Sci-fi action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss and Hugo Weaving.

Fun Fact: In the combat training program before Keanu Reeves starts his furious attacks on Morpheus, he rubs his nose with his thumb and finger, a similar mannerism of Bruce Lee before he attacks on his opponents. The move was improvised by Reeves.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) ITV4 12:00am-2:20am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A reckless sports writer and his lawyer hit the highways in search of the American Dream, heading for the Nevada gambling capital in a convertible stocked with alcohol and drugs. Drama, adapted by Terry Gilliam from Hunter S Thompson’s book, starring Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Ellen Barkin, Christina Ricci and Tobey Maguire.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure your laces are done up and never run on the edge of the pool.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 132

Captain Blackbeard! The weekend is in sight and we’re ready for docking!

With a strong and able crew at the ready, we’re setting sail into the vast emptiness of the oceans. With the great gusts fulling our sales fit to burst, we’ll be heading straight into the weekend with a song in our heart and the thought of the great treasure to be found in our minds. We’ll take no prisoners on our quest for retro movie greatness, only pausing to gaze of the magnificent celluloid wonder that spills out of the stuffed chests.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 17th January

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The Secret of My Success
(1987) ITV London 2:35pm-4:35pm (2 hours)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Fun Fact: Michael J. Fox was, at the time this movie was filmed, a heavy cigarette smoker. Evidence of this is noticeable when his character Brantley (a non-smoker) puts his feet up on the desk and reveals dozens of burn marks from extinguishing cigarettes with his shoe.

Top Gun (1986) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An arrogant pilot’s maverick flying skills earn him a place in an elite US Navy school, where he comes into conflict with a fellow student and falls for his civilian instructor. A tragedy in the air threatens to end his military career – until an international incident offers him a chance to redeem himself. Aerial action adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards and Tom Skerritt.

Rocky III (1982) 5USA 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
World heavyweight boxing champion Rocky Balboa settles down into a life of luxury – but a cloud appears on the horizon in the shape of ambitious contender Clubber Lang, whose brutal fighting style represents a serious threat to his title. Drama, starring Sylvester Stallone, Mr T, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers and Hulk Hogan.

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The would-be heavy metal superstars face the Grim Reaper as they try to reclaim their souls from Hell, return to the land of the living and stop their robot doppelgangers from changing history. Along the way, they must also master their instruments, so they can triumph at the Battle of the Bands. Comedy sequel, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, Joss Ackland and George Carlin.

Forrest Gump (1994) Viva 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours )
A slow-witted man has a series of bizarre adventures, including becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life from childhood continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

Apocalypse Now (1979) ITV4 11:00pm-1:55am (2 hours 55 minutes)
An army captain is sent on a top-secret mission into Cambodia, where his goal is to find and assassinate a renegade colonel who has gone insane and is worshipped by his followers as a god. However, as his patrol boat journeys further upriver, the conflict and disarray surrounding him becomes increasingly disturbing and nightmarish. Francis Ford Coppola’s Vietnam War drama, starring Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall.

SUNDAY 18th January

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Patch Adams
(1998) 5* 1:00pm-3:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Teen Wolf (1985) Syfy 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) ITV2 3:20pm-5:05pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left in the temporary care of a friend when their owners are forced to move away. Thinking they have been abandoned, the trio hit the road in a bid to find their way home. Adventure, featuring the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche. Kim Greist, Robert Hays and Benj Thall take the human roles.

Live and Let Die (1973) ITV London 4:00pm-6:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

Fun Fact: Roger Moore suffered an injury during the boat chase. The engine cut out and the momentum carried him into a boathouse. He cracked some of his front teeth and twisted his knee. He had to walk on a cane for days afterward, but he was still able to complete the scene because all he had to do was sit in the boat.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Transformers (2007) E4 8:00pm-10:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you always remember to shut the window and get to the cinema on time so you don’t have to sit at the front…
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 128

Toasted marshmallows! It’s only the bloomin weekend!

Setting up camp in a picturesque clearing in the deep Canadian woods, we’ll be pitching out retro movie canvas just as the light begins to fade. We’ll hustle a fire together and sit looking over the flickering flames as we ponder all the cinematic greatness before zipping up for the night and dreaming of what possible greatness we could capture onto celluloid wonder in the next light.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER
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Twins (1988) ITV2 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Runaway Bride (1999) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A disreputable journalist hopes to get his ailing career back on track by writing an article about a commitment-shy woman famed for ditching bridegrooms at the altar – but complications arise when the pair meet on the eve of her latest attempt at marriage. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, with Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson.

Teen Wolf (1985) 5* 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) ITV London 3:50pm-6:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The teenage wizard is alarmed to learn a dangerous fugitive sorcerer is searching for him. Meanwhile, a new teacher at Hogwarts helps the bespectacled youngster to protect himself from the school’s soul-sucking security guards. The third in the fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon, Robbie Coltrane and Alan Rickman.

Big (1988) Film4 5:10pm-7:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Scarface (1983) ITV4 10:15pm-1:35am (3 hours 20 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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The First Wives Club (1996)
Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three former college friends reunite at the funeral of a mutual acquaintance, who killed herself after her husband left her for a younger woman. Finding themselves in a similar situation, the trio decide to take action and hit their former partners where it hurts most – their finances. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith, Dan Hedaya, Bronson Pinchot and Elizabeth Berkley.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Fun Fact: The scene in which Kat reads the “10 Things” poem was the first and only take, according to the DVD extras. Kat’s tears towards the end of the poem were not planned.

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV London 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Home Alone (1990) Sky Movies Family 9:35pm-11:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Christmas 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm, and remember, never take sweets from strangers.

xoxo

Twins (1988)

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 127

Cheese and crackers! Is it really the weekend. Let’s celebrate in style!

With all the finest of guests adorning some of the very classiest attire, we’ll schmooze our way around the cocktail party, chatting to some of the great and good of the local area.
Heading to the bar, we’ll check our pocket watch and adjust our tie before tipping the bar keep for his hard work and experience in creating our latest creation of only the finest spirits and mixers. We’ll sip our drink slowly before heading to the floor to capture even more of the nights greatness like a camera capturing a movies celluloid magic.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER

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The Hunt for Red October
(1990) 1:00pm Film4 165 minutes
A Soviet submarine commander creates an international crisis by piloting his experimental nuclear vessel, which is invisible to sonar, toward the American coast. The US and Russian navies think he is planning to attack and set out to destroy the submarine, but a CIA analyst suspects he intends to defect to the West. Cold War thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin and James Earl Jones.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) 3:00pm ITV 180 minutes
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter T-Shirts

Home Alone (1990) 6:10pm Sky Movies Comedy 110 minutes
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone T-Shirts

Rocky Balboa (2006) 6:30pm Channel 5 120 minutes
The ageing fighter contemplates a return to the ring when a computer simulation reveals he would have defeated the current world heavyweight champion Mason `The Line’ Dixon, who responds by challenging Rocky to face him for real. Boxing drama sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Antonio Tarver, Geraldine Hughes, Burt Young, Milo Ventimiglia and Tony Burton.

Rocky T-Shirts

Pale Rider (1985) 10:30pm Channel 5 130 minutes
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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Titanic
(1997) 11:00am Sky Movies Modern Greats 195 minutes
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Beetlejuice (1988) 2:05pm 5* 115 minutes
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton’s supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O’Hara.

Fun Fact: Michael Keaton spent only two weeks filming his part in the film, which lasts 17.5 minutes out of the 92-minute running time.

Apollo 13 (1995) 4:00pm ITV 155 minutes
Fact-based drama about the ill-fated 1970 Apollo 13 mission to the moon. Crew leader Jim Lovell is faced with a nightmare when the mission suffers an on-board explosion – leaving the team stranded in space with a dwindling oxygen supply while flight controllers and engineers in Houston try to find a way to bring the crew safely back to Earth. With Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Ed Harris and Gary Sinise.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) 5:25pm Channel 4 140 minutes
Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and finds himself heading for New York, while his family jets off to Florida. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel – until he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Brenda Fricker and Tim Curry.

Big (1988) 6:55pm Film4 125 minutes
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

The Specialist (1994) 9:00pm ITV4 135 minutes
An explosives expert is reluctantly persuaded out of retirement by the charms of a vengeful woman bent on destroying the gang that murdered her parents. He carries out a series of assassinations, but finds himself caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse when one of his targets hires a former colleague to track him down. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, James Woods, Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts.

Rambo III (1988) 11:15pm ITV4 125 minutes
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, just remember, keep it classy.

xoxo