The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 327

It’s that time again! Here to tempt you back onto the sofa to really enjoy some well-earned R&R with some of your favourite characters, we’re back with even more movie goodness for you to tuck into!
Spin your dials and dive into the action-packed weekend. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 6th March

Scooby-Doo (2002) ITV2 3:25pm-5:10pm
The hapless hound and his chums reunite after a bitter break-up to solve a baffling mystery in the ghost-themed tourist resort of Spooky Island, whose owner is convinced he has a genuine haunting on his hands. Live-action comedy adventure based on the cartoon series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini and Rowan Atkinson.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 5:10pm-7:15pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Matilda Mug



The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 5:10pm-8:35pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.



Goldfinger (1964) ITV4 7:30pm-9:45pm
James Bond is assigned to investigate a notorious German gold smuggler and discovers his quarry has ambitions much greater than first suspected. Pursuing the criminal mastermind around the world, Bond uncovers the villain’s audacious scheme to destroy the global economy with a daring attack on Fort Knox. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe and Honor Blackman.

Lethal Weapon (1987) ITV4 9:45pm-12:05am
An unstable Vietnam veteran cop teams up with a by-the-book Los Angeles police detective to investigate the apparent suicide of the daughter of a wealthy businessman, leading them to a violent and bloody confrontation with a ruthless drug cartel under the control of a retired US general. Action thriller, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan and Tom Atkins.

SUNDAY 7th March

Small Soldiers (1998) Film4 11:00am-1:10pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 5Star 2:25pm-4:45pm
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T Clothing and Gifts

E.T. Hoodie Socks from Dedicated



Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.



The Goonies (1985) 5Star 4:45pm-6:55pm
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.

Goonies Clothing

The Goonies Sloth Hey You Guys Socks



Sister Act (1992) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) ITV2 7:00pm-10:35pm
Frodo and Sam continue their quest to destroy the all-powerful ring, bringing them face to face with the magical artefact’s twisted former owner Gollum. Meanwhile, their allies prepare to make a desperate last stand against the vast armies of the corrupted wizard Saruman, who has declared war on a neighbouring kingdom. Part two of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy, starring Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Andy Serkis and Christopher Lee.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Lord Of The Rings You Shall Not Pass Door Mat



Unforgiven (1992) ITV4 10:30pm-1:05am
Two notorious gunslingers come out of retirement to help a young assassin collect the $1,000 bounty on the heads of a pair of cowboys who attacked and mutilated a prostitute in the backwoods town of Big Whiskey. The local sheriff, however, has no intention of letting the pair impinge on his own authority. Oscar-winning Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, with Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Jaimz Woolvett and Richard Harris.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, why not do that thing you’ve been putting off for ages. It won’t take long and it’ll just be done.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 326

*Tick-tock* It’s that time already! We’re back with another look over all the top retro films hitting your screens this weekend. Gain more than just an hour this weekend, gain a whole lot of awesome movie goodness with our hand-picked films! Tuck in time keepers!

SATURDAY 29th March

Coneheads (1993) Film4 11:00am-12:45pm
An alien couple and their daughter crash-land on Earth and try to blend into suburban society, all the while dodging the immigration authorities and their increasingly suspicious neighbours. Comedy, starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michael McKean, Jason Alexander, Michelle Burke, David Spade and Chris Farley.



Live and Let Die (1973) ITV 1:35pm-4:00pm
James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 5STAR 2:00pm-3:40pm
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.



The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 3:20pm-5:55pm
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) 5STAR 3:40pm-6:45pm
An English nobleman returns home from the crusades to find his father has been murdered and the local people are repressed by the tyrannical rule of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Branded an outlaw, he recruits a group of bandits to fight for justice and protect the downtrodden. Action adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 4:00pm-6:20pm
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.



Cocoon (1985) Film4 4:40pm-6:55pm
The elderly residents of a retirement home treat themselves to an occasional dip in the pool at an abandoned house. It turns out that friendly aliens in human form are using the place to restore dormant members of their species – and energy from their cocoons is giving the old-timers a new lease of life. Ron Howard’s sci-fi drama, with Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Don Ameche and Steve Guttenberg.

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003) Film4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding – one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino’s two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.



Cobra (1986) 5Spike 9:00pm-10:45pm
A maverick Los Angeles police officer is assigned to the case of a serial killer and becomes convinced the murders are not the work of just one man but an organised gang of psychopaths. His theory turns out to be true and he has to battle to protect the sole surviving witness to their reign of terror. Action thriller, with Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen and Brian Thompson.

SUNDAY 20th March

Small Soldiers (1998) Film4 2:30pm-4:40pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 3:10pm-5:15pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set



Shrek (2001) ITV2 5:15pm-8:00pm
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T Merchandsie

E.T. Hoodie Socks from Dedicated



The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 7:00pm-10:35pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Lord Of The Rings You Shall Not Pass Door Mat



Under Siege (1992) ITV4 9:50pm-11:55pm
Terrorists infiltrate a US battleship in a carefully orchestrated move to steal its arsenal of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship’s resourceful cook – a veteran US Navy Seal – and a scantily clad stripper are about to foil their plans. Action adventure, starring Steven Seagal, Erika Eleniak, Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try to spare some time to pop a podcast on, you’ll thank us for it.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 322

Sweet child of mine! Another weekend is here and ready to pick you up and carry you in style through the weekend. Hold onto your top hats peeps, things are about to get a whole lot more adventurous, funny and downright dangerous with some of our top movie picks hitting the small screen. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 2nd March

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 5STAR 12:45pm-2:30pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) Film4 1:35pm-3:55pm
A girl grows up in 16th-century Europe under the iron fist of her stepmother, until the love of handsome Prince Henry offers a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, the royal gent has worries of his own in the shape of an arranged marriage. Luckily, Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci is on hand to play fairy godfather and bring the pair together. Romantic drama, starring Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott and Timothy West.

Cutthroat Island (1995) 5STAR 2:30pm-4:55pm
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Willow (1988) Film4 4:05pm-6:35pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.



Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV2 5:40pm-7:40pm
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Mug

Minions 3D Bob Mug With Scented Charm



Crocodile Dundee II (1988) FIlm4 6:45pm-9:00pm
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Crocodile Dundee TShirts

Crocodile Dundee 2 TShirt



Jurassic World (2015) ITV2 7:40pm-10:00pm
Decades on from the creation of Jurassic Park, a fully operational attraction filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs has been opened on the island. In need of a new attraction, the company behind the park creates an entirely new species – but it quickly escapes to terrorise the tourists. Action adventure sequel, starring Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.

Jurassic Park Merchandise

Jurassic Park Logo Door Mat

SUNDAY 3rd March

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV 2:10pm-4:25pm
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.



Robin Hood (1973) Channel 4 2:35pm-4:20pm
The adventures of the legendary outlaw and Sherwood Forest’s band of heroes as they rob the rich to feed the poor, while evil Prince John hatches a cunning plan to exact revenge and finish off the brigands. Disney animation, with the voices of Terry-Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Brian Bedford and Monica Evans.

Men in Black II (2002) Film4 5:00pm-6:45pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

9 to 5 (1980) ITVBe 9:00pm-11:20pm
Three downtrodden female office employees grow fed up with their chauvinistic boss and spend hours daydreaming about getting their own back. Unexpectedly their fantasies become reality when a series of comic mishaps results in their kidnapping him – and teaching him a long-overdue lesson. Comedy, starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dabney Coleman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget the b sides and remember that unless it’s useful or you think it’s beautiful, it’s probably not worth keeping.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 317

And just like that… the retro movie rundown is back for another week! Packed with familiar faces and more laughts and action than you would possibly shake a stick it, it’s officially time to kick back and enjoy some of these total classics. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 19th January

Gold (1974) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:45pm
A South African engineer is appointed a general manager of a gold mine and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(2007) ITV2 3:15pm-5:55pm
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Wallet



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV2 5:55pm-9:00pm
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Gifts

Harry Potter Potion Bottle Light



Men in Black (1997) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.



Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 8:05pm-10:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:45pm-12:35am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

SUNDAY 20th January

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 10:50am-12:50pm
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.



See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:25pm
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Dr No (1962) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Overboard (1987) Channel 5 2:40pm-4:55pm
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV2 3:50pm-6:35pm
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical Horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ghostbusters Proton Pack Backpack



Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
The teenage wizard continues his search for the artefacts containing fragments of the dark lord Voldemort’s soul. Time is running out, as the evil sorcerer is aware of Harry’s mission, and marshals his forces for a final, devastating attack on Harry and his friends at Hogwarts school. The conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 6:50pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



The Transporter (2002) Film4 10:50pm-12:35am
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.



Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try starting that thing you’ve been putting off doing for a while, it won’t be so bad.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 300!

*Checks watch* “Wait, what? *checks watch again* “It’s time for another retro movie rundown already?!”
You betcha! Coming packed with more retro movie goodness that will ease you through another weekend in style, we’ve picked out some of our favourite classic flicks hitting the small screen. Sit back, relax and reminisce!

SATURDAY 8th September

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:40pm-2:30pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Wild Wild West (1999) 5STAR 3:45pm-5:50pm
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 5STAR 5:50pm-7:35pm
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
(2001) ITV 5:50pm-8:30pm
An orphaned boy endures a miserable childhood until he discovers he has magical powers and enrols at a special school for young wizards. However, his suspicions are aroused by a sinister teacher who seems to be up to no good. Fantasy adventure, adapted from the first of JK Rowling’s books, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman and Richard Harris.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Marauders Map Heat Change Mug

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Outbreak
(1995) 5STAR 7:35pm-10:00pm
An expert in infectious diseases races against time to find a cure for a rapidly fatal airborne virus which is wiping out the population of a small town and is threatening to turn into a pandemic. However, his task is hampered by senior military men, who are bent on burning down the town and incinerating the virus with it, regardless of any casualties. Thriller, with Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey and Donald Sutherland.

The Fugitive (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

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Gladiator
(2000) 10:30pm-1:20am
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the Senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers but is sold into slavery as a gladiator – and uses his fame in the arena to fight against the tyrant. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed.

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Jackie Brown
(1997) Sony Movie Channel 11:45pm-2:55am
An air hostess is arrested for smuggling drugs and money into the US for a local arms dealer. Realising her life may be in danger she leaves jail with a plan to stay one step ahead by playing the criminal and the police off against each other. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, based on the novel Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard, starring Pam Grier, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Samuel L Jackson, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton and Michael Bowen.

SUNDAY 9th September

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) ITV4 11:05am-1:00pm
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware of the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 2:40pm-4:50pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters TShirts

Ghostbusters Who Ya Gunna Call T-Shirt

Charlie’s Angels (2000) Sony Movie Channel 4:50pm-6:55pm
Three private investigators are recruited to rescue a computer genius from the clutches of a rival. They discover there is more at stake than they thought, as the captive genius has created a dangerous piece of software that must not fall into the wrong hands. Action adventure, based on the TV series, starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Bill Murray.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) BBC2 6:00pm-8:00pm
The intrepid archaeologist sets out to find his estranged father, who has gone missing while searching for the Holy Grail. Once reunited, the duo team up to finish the task and locate the sacred relic before the Nazis get their hands on it. Action adventure sequel directed by Steven Spielberg, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, River Phoenix, Julian Glover and Denholm Elliott.

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Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, why not bake something? It’s way easier than you think!