The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 356

Kiai! Kicking and punching our way through another week, we find ourselves once again facing a whole heap of classic retro movies before us like kickboxing pads ready to be engaged. We’ll duck and roll our way along as we take on any tale before us in true cinematic glory!

SATURDAY 16th November

Small Soldiers (1998) E4 10:55am-1:00pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live-action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

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Ice Age
(2002) Film4 3:15pm-4:55pm
Three mismatched prehistoric animals join forces to return a human infant to its tribe – but as their journey unfolds, the creatures fail to anticipate the many perils and pitfalls that lay in store for them. Animated adventure, featuring the voices of John Leguizamo, Ray Romano, Denis Leary, Goran Visnjic and Jack Black.

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Continue reading “The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 356”

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 353

Like Sonic rushing around in Green Hill Zone catching gold rings, we’ve been frantically jumping high and low to seek out and catch some of the top movies for you guys and gals! Plenty of gems to be cracking on with!

SATURDAY 26th October

Peter Pan (2003) ITV 12:35pm-2:40pm
The adventures of the boy who never grows old, as he whisks Wendy Darling and her brothers away to the magical world of Neverland – where they come face to face with fearsome Captain Hook. Adaptation of JM Barrie’s fantasy novel, starring Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Jason Isaacs and Lynn Redgrave.

Peter Pan Gifts

Disney Peter Pan Never Land Denim Jacket from Cakeworthy

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A Knight’s Tale
(2001) 5STAR 2:10pm-4:50pm
A poverty-stricken squire spies an opportunity to make his dreams come true when his employer dies. He takes his place as a knight, launching himself on the road to riches by competing in jousting tournaments, but his ruse is jeopardised by a dastardly nobleman. Comedy adventure, starring Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon and Rufus Sewell.

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Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 3:20pm-5:05pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

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Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action-adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park Christmas Jumper

Continue reading “The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 353”

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 322

Sweet child of mine! Another weekend is here and ready to pick you up and carry you in style through the weekend. Hold onto your top hats peeps, things are about to get a whole lot more adventurous, funny and downright dangerous with some of our top movie picks hitting the small screen. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 2nd March

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 5STAR 12:45pm-2:30pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) Film4 1:35pm-3:55pm
A girl grows up in 16th-century Europe under the iron fist of her stepmother, until the love of handsome Prince Henry offers a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, the royal gent has worries of his own in the shape of an arranged marriage. Luckily, Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci is on hand to play fairy godfather and bring the pair together. Romantic drama, starring Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott and Timothy West.

Cutthroat Island (1995) 5STAR 2:30pm-4:55pm
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Willow (1988) Film4 4:05pm-6:35pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.



Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV2 5:40pm-7:40pm
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Mug

Minions 3D Bob Mug With Scented Charm



Crocodile Dundee II (1988) FIlm4 6:45pm-9:00pm
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Crocodile Dundee TShirts

Crocodile Dundee 2 TShirt



Jurassic World (2015) ITV2 7:40pm-10:00pm
Decades on from the creation of Jurassic Park, a fully operational attraction filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs has been opened on the island. In need of a new attraction, the company behind the park creates an entirely new species – but it quickly escapes to terrorise the tourists. Action adventure sequel, starring Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.

Jurassic Park Merchandise

Jurassic Park Logo Door Mat

SUNDAY 3rd March

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV 2:10pm-4:25pm
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.



Robin Hood (1973) Channel 4 2:35pm-4:20pm
The adventures of the legendary outlaw and Sherwood Forest’s band of heroes as they rob the rich to feed the poor, while evil Prince John hatches a cunning plan to exact revenge and finish off the brigands. Disney animation, with the voices of Terry-Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Brian Bedford and Monica Evans.

Men in Black II (2002) Film4 5:00pm-6:45pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

9 to 5 (1980) ITVBe 9:00pm-11:20pm
Three downtrodden female office employees grow fed up with their chauvinistic boss and spend hours daydreaming about getting their own back. Unexpectedly their fantasies become reality when a series of comic mishaps results in their kidnapping him – and teaching him a long-overdue lesson. Comedy, starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dabney Coleman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget the b sides and remember that unless it’s useful or you think it’s beautiful, it’s probably not worth keeping.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 321

We’re back! It’s time again to take a run up and dive head-first into another weekend of top classic films that come packed with iconic characters, epic plots and a whole heap of adventure. Hold onto your hats peeps!

SATURDAY 23rd February

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 5STAR 2:45pm-4:30pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.



Cutthroat Island (1995) 5STAR 4:30pm-7:00pm
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) ITV2 4:40pm-7:20pm
The rebel heroes set out to rescue Han Solo from the clutches of alien gangster Jabba the Hutt before preparing for a decisive attack on the evil Empire. Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker faces a more personal battle in a final confrontation with Darth Vader that leads him to the inner sanctum of the Emperor himself. A conclusion of the original sci-fi trilogy, starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher.

Official Star Wars Clothing

Star Wars Return of the Jedi T-Shirt



Dr Dolittle 2 (2001) Film4 5:05pm-6:45pm
The vet with a talent for talking to animals comes to the aid of forest creatures that need his help protecting their homes from land developers. He also has to deal with the love life of a circus bear that has fallen for a wild female. Comedy sequel, starring Eddie Murphy and Kevin Pollak, with the voices of Steve Zahn, Lisa Kudrow and Isaac Hayes.

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 6:55pm-8:50pm
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Crocodile Dundee TShirts

Crocodile Dundee II Movie Poster White T-Shirt



Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015) ITV2 7:20pm-10:00pm
A stormtrooper fighting for an evil regime turns against his masters. He joins forces with a desert scavenger, and together they are drawn into the search for legendary war hero Luke Skywalker, who disappeared years previously. Meanwhile, a terrible weapon is about to be unleashed, that will allow the forces of evil to dominate the galaxy once again. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford and Adam Driver.

Star Wars TShirt

Star Wars I Only Date Rebels Shortie Pyjama Set



Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) 5STAR 9:00pm-10:55pm
The snaggle-toothed spy travels through time to rescue his equally suave father, who has been kidnapped by arch-villain Dr Evil and his new ally – a devilish Dutchman with a love of gold. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers in four different roles alongside Michael Caine, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green and Fred Savage.

Enemy of the State (1998) ITV4 9:05pm-11:40pm
A chance encounter with an old friend derails a successful lawyer’s fast-track career, plunging him headlong into a deadly game of cat and mouse with relentless government agents capable of anticipating his every move. He quickly realises the only way to save his own life is to expose the truths his pursuers seem so intent on covering up and seeks out a former intelligence agent to take them on at their own game. Thriller, starring Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight and Lisa Bonet.



The Usual Suspects (1995) ITV4 11:40pm-1:50am
Five criminals are brought together by a police line-up, and decide to join forces to pull off one more big job. However, they discover their meeting was not a coincidence and that a mysterious crime lord has plans for them. Bryan Singer’s Oscar-winning thriller, starring Gabriel Byrne, Kevin Spacey, Benicio Del Toro, Kevin Pollak, Stephen Baldwin, Pete Postlethwaite, Chazz Palminteri and Suzy Amis.

SUNDAY 24th February

My Neighbour Totoro (1988) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm
Two sisters move to a new home in the countryside when their mother is taken ill. They are thrilled to discover the house is next to an enchanted forest and befriending the eldest and wisest of the strange magical creatures dwelling there. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Dakota and Elle Fanning.

Studio Ghibli Merchandise

Studio Ghibli Cat Bus Coin Purse Keyring



Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV2 4:35pm-6:35pm
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions 3D Bob Mug With Scented Charm



Jurassic World (2015) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
Decades on from the creation of Jurassic Park, a fully operational attraction filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs has been opened on the island. In need of a new attraction, the company behind the park creates an entirely new species – but it quickly escapes to terrorise the tourists. Action adventure sequel, starring Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.

Jurassic Park TShirts UK

Jurassic Park Logo Door Mat



The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.

Official Superhero Clothing

Marvel Comics Comic Strip Pyjamas



Resident Evil (2002) 5STAR 11:05pm-1:10am
A team of commandos enters a top-secret underground research facility when a deadly virus which turns victims into flesh-eating zombies is accidentally released. But their containment mission spins out of control as a rogue super-intelligent computer and hordes of the marauding undead wreak havoc. Sci-fi action horror, starring Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez and James Purefoy.

Resident Evil Merchandise

Resident Evil Infected Inside Hidden 3D Mug

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, find an adventure, they seldom find you.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 317

And just like that… the retro movie rundown is back for another week! Packed with familiar faces and more laughts and action than you would possibly shake a stick it, it’s officially time to kick back and enjoy some of these total classics. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 19th January

Gold (1974) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:45pm
A South African engineer is appointed a general manager of a gold mine and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(2007) ITV2 3:15pm-5:55pm
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Wallet



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV2 5:55pm-9:00pm
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Gifts

Harry Potter Potion Bottle Light



Men in Black (1997) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.



Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 8:05pm-10:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:45pm-12:35am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

SUNDAY 20th January

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 10:50am-12:50pm
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.



See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:25pm
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Dr No (1962) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Overboard (1987) Channel 5 2:40pm-4:55pm
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV2 3:50pm-6:35pm
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical Horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ghostbusters Proton Pack Backpack



Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
The teenage wizard continues his search for the artefacts containing fragments of the dark lord Voldemort’s soul. Time is running out, as the evil sorcerer is aware of Harry’s mission, and marshals his forces for a final, devastating attack on Harry and his friends at Hogwarts school. The conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 6:50pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



The Transporter (2002) Film4 10:50pm-12:35am
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.



Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try starting that thing you’ve been putting off doing for a while, it won’t be so bad.