The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 318

The weekend? So soon? Boy did that go fast! Coming your way thicker and faster than a fully loaded train on the hill, we find ourselves awash with more classic retro films that we know what to do with! Sadly, we can’t watch them all, but we can sure give a whole heap of them a good go! Enjoy.

SATURDAY 26th January

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: The Director’s Cut (1977) Channel 5 11:45am-2:30pm
An electrical repairman sees a fleet of UFOs flying overhead and afterwards becomes obsessed with images of a mountain, driving his wife to despair. Meanwhile, a woman develops a similar fixation after her son vanishes, and a team of scientists investigates a series of strange events around the world – until they are all drawn to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, where the aliens are about to make contact. An alternate cut of Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi drama, with Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut and Teri Garr.



Dr Dolittle (1998) Film4 3:45pm-5:25pm
A doctor is stunned to discover he can talk to animals, and it is not long before his home and surgery are taken over by an assortment of ailing creatures in need of help. However, when the medic’s odd behaviour attracts his colleagues’ attention, he is forced to rely on his new-found furry friends to save him from the asylum. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis and Oliver Platt.

Charlie’s Angels (2000) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:50pm
Three private investigators are recruited to rescue a computer genius from the clutches of a rival. They discover there is more at stake than they thought, as the captive genius has created a dangerous piece of software that must not fall into the wrong hands. Action adventure, based on the TV series, starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Bill Murray.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 6:00pm-7:55pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Clothing

Men's Charcoal Marl Distressed Logo Glow In The Dark Ghostbusters T-Shirt



Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



Rocky (1976) ITV 10:45pm-1:00am
Philadelphia brawler Rocky Balboa gets a shot at the world heavyweight title when current champion Apollo Creed decides to give an unknown boxer a chance in celebration of America’s bicentennial. Oscar-winning drama, starring Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young and Carl Weathers.

SUNDAY 27th January

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 12:00pm-2:05pm
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. A musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.



Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Channel 5 3:45pm-6:00pm
Penniless Charlie Bucket is one of five lucky children who find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar, winning a once-in-a-lifetime tour of eccentric recluse Willy Wonka’s magical sweet company. Unfortunately, the other winners each face a grim fate when they start to misbehave. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy playing all the Oompa Loompas.

Roald Dahl Gifts

Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory China Tea Cup & Saucer Set



Antz (1998) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Short Circuit (1986) Film4 4:25pm-6:25pm
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.



The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV2 5:45pm-9:00pm
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. When the group journeys into the Misty Mountains, Bilbo becomes separated from the dwarves and falls into a cave, where he finds himself confronted by Gollum and forced to play a riddle game. It is set in Middle-earth 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings and is the first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm and Christopher Lee.

X-Men 2 (2003) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm
Mutant heroes the X-Men are forced into an uneasy alliance with arch-enemy Magneto to battle a common foe. Following an attempt on the US president’s life, a sinister military scientist launches a raid on Professor Xavier’s school and hatches a plan to rid the world of all mutants. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Alan Cumming, Halle Berry and Brian Cox.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) E4 8:00pm-10:20pm
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

Fun fact: 20th Century Fox invited a group of scientists to preview the film, to test their reactions to the science used in the film. None of the scientists were impressed with what they saw, although most conceded that the movie was enjoyable nonsense.

Air Force One (1997) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:30pm
The American president is forced to take drastic measures to save his family when their plane is hijacked by Russian terrorists demanding the release of a jailed radical general. Meanwhile, the vice president tries to manage the crisis from Washington and has to decide whether to shoot the aircraft down. Action thriller, starring Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Dean Stockwell and William H Macy.

Jaws 3 (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.

Jaws Clothing and Accessories

Jaws Pin Badge Set

Whatever you’re up this weekend, remember that sometimes the quietest people in the room often have the most interesting things to say.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 234

Crunchy crisps and dip! Another retro movie weekend is upon us. Let’s go!

With a bump and a flick, we’re plugging back in after many years one of our oldest friends, our first game console. Feeling some of the excitement we first experience upon first ever playing on our shiny new system back in the day, we’ll dust off the bold and clunky hardware which still feels so familiar in our hands before loading up our game of choice. With each load screen, we find our childhood memories loading into our minds as we dive in, as if nothing had changed around us.

SATURDAY 4th MARCH

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Dragnet (1987) Dave 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Casper (1995) Film4 4:55pm-6:55pm (2 hours)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Mission: Impossible (1996) E4 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 5:45pm-8:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

X-Men (2000) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

First Blood (1982) ITV 10:55pm-12:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Jackie Brown (1997) ITV4 11:00pm-2:05am
An air hostess is arrested for smuggling drugs and money into the US for a local arms dealer. Realising her life may be in danger she leaves jail with a plan to stay one step ahead by playing the criminal and the police off against each other. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, based on the novel Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard, starring Pam Grier, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Samuel L Jackson, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton and Michael Bowen.

SUNDAY 5th MARCH

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The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 11:50am-2:10pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 12:15pm-3:30pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Spies Like Us (1985) Channel 5 2:10pm-4:10pm (2 hours)
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

The Fly (1986) Sony Channel 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A scientist invents a teleportation machine, but as he prepares to test the apparatus on himself he is unaware that a housefly is inside the system with him. The experiment causes his body to splice genetically with the insect, leading to a terrifying and grotesque transformation. David Cronenberg’s remake of the 1950s horror, starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis and John Getz.

Point Break (1991) Spike 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Face/Off (1997) AMC 11:05pm-2:00am (2 hours 55 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay dry, stay warm and stay awesome!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 230

Great volcano! Another weekend, another time for retro movie rundown!

With the trees blowing and the tops of puddles shuffling, the cold winter winds are finally here. Braving the elements, we’ll grab our trusty, if not sometimes tangled kite and head for the hills. With a might leap, we’ll throw our plastic hero up into the… well not clouds but pretty high. Tugging at the lifeline of string, we’ll watch our kite dance, duck and dive in the air before stopping to capture this moment forever on celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 4th FEBRUARY

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The Borrowers (1997) Film4 2:45pm-4:25pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:20pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 3:50pm-5:00pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:55pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

X-Men (2000) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Sky 1 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff.

Bullitt (1968) ITV4 9:05pm-11:25pm
A tough police detective is assigned to protect a Mob witness for 48 hours, only for hitmen to find their hiding place and try to silence the informant. The rebellious cop realises something does not add up and goes in search of both the killers and whoever told them where to locate their target – but an ambitious politician wants him off the case. Thriller, starring Steve McQueen, Jacqueline Bisset, Robert Vaughn and Robert Duvall.

SUNDAY 5th FEBRUARY

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Rest in Peace, Mrs Columbo
(1990) 12:35pm-2:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The wife of a criminal who died in prison swears revenge on the men she holds responsible for his incarceration – including Columbo. She kills one of her targets, and the shabby sleuth is assigned to the case. As she faces his well-honed approach to sniffing out a suspect, she plots to murder his wife. Crime drama, starring Peter Falk, Helen Shaver and Ian McShane.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito.

Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 10:05pm-12:15am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:30pm-12:10am (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cool and keep it funky!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 229

Sweet honey and pancakes! Must be time for another retro movie weekend!

With a swish and a swoosh, we’re making quick work of the almost herculean task of freshly painting a black canvas of a room (we said almost). Starting at one corner, we’ll watch the fresh, bright new colour explode outwards with each new stroke of the brush as we breathe a whole new character to a once tired and uninspiring space. With the smell of newness and change in the air, we’ll step back from our work to admire our new creation before taking a moment to capture our achievements onto celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th JANUARY

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Gold
(1974) Channel 5 11:25am-1:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A South African engineer is appointed general manager of a gold mine, and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

101 Dalmatians (1996) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:00pm
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) ITV2 4:05pm-5:50pm
Daffy Duck tires of playing second fiddle to Bugs Bunny, so sets off to seek his fortune. He ends up helping a would-be stuntman rescue his screen idol father, in reality a secret agent, who has been kidnapped by the deranged chairman of the Acme Corporation. Live action and animated comedy, with Brendan Fraser, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton and Jenna Elfman.

Clueless (1995) Film4 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless Merchandise

Big Momma’s House (2000) 5STAR 8:30pm-10:35pm
A dedicated FBI agent will stop at nothing to catch a dangerous escaped convict, even if it means donning a fat suit and drag to pose as the obese old woman who lives across the road from the felon’s girlfriend. Comedy, with Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Paul Giamatti, Jascha Washington, Terrence Dashon Howard and Ella Mitchell.

SUNDAY 29th JANUARY

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The Love Bug
(1968) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Herbie, an irrepressible Beetle car with a mind of its own, takes a shine to a struggling racing driver and leads him to victory on the track. However, his success attracts the attention of an unscrupulous rival competitor, who will go to any lengths to win the most important race of all. Disney comedy, starring Dean Jones, Michele Lee, Buddy Hackett and David Tomlinson.

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:10pm-4:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Inspector Gadget (1999) ITV2 3:00pm-4:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fishe.

The River Wild (1994) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A headstrong white-water rafting expert embarks on a holiday with her family, but their fun comes to an abrupt end when two killers show up. The fugitives’ only escape route from the law is down a raging river, so they take the woman and her son hostage to act as guides. Meanwhile, her husband desperately tries to keep track from the riverbank, waiting for his opportunity to launch a rescue attempt. Action thriller directed by the late Curtis Hanson, with Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon, David Strathairn and Joseph Mazzello.

X-Men (2000) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
A sceptical 18th-century detective is sent to a small hamlet supposedly terrorised by a demonic headless horseman who decapitates his victims. The investigator refuses to believe in the supernatural, convinced a human killer is behind the murders – but the legend proves to be all too true. Tim Burton’s gothic horror, starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson and Christopher Walken.

The Cider House Rules (1999) BBC2 11:30pm-1:30am (2 hours)
An orphan grows up under the wing of the doctor running the home where he lives, and helps him deliver babies to unmarried mothers and perform abortions. However, he is eager to see more of life and joins a pilot and his girlfriend on the road – but unforeseen events present him with a host of difficult personal and moral decisions. Drama, starring Michael Caine in an Oscar-winning role, with Tobey Maguire, Charlize Theron and Paul Rudd.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always remember to hit save and don’t forget to always have spare batteries around….just in case.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 203

Cheese and crackers! It’s only another retro movie weekend full of nostalgia, fun and plenty of dodgy effects! Yep….believe it.

In a world of ever increasing screen revolutions, gigidybits, brandywidths and not forgetting those RAMs…..whatever they are, we find ourselves looking back to the past to remember the simpler times where you simply knocked on a door, popped outside to see who was ‘out’ and perhaps…for the braver of people, rang the landline *shiver*. Back then life wasn’t through a profile or being constantly captured for people to see (thankfully!) but instead we created our very own fun. Invented games in the street, hung out in the coolest parents house (who would let us) and of course….wreaked havoc! Good times.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 9th July

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Flight of the Navigator
(1986) BBC2 7:45am-9:10am (1 hour 25 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 2:50pm-5:00pm
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Small Soldiers (1998) ITV2 2:45pm-5:00pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Scooby-Doo (2002) ITV2 5:00pm-6:45pm
The hapless hound and his chums reunite after a bitter break-up to solve a baffling mystery in the ghost-themed tourist resort of Spooky Island, whose owner is convinced he has a genuine haunting on his hands. Live-action comedy adventure based on the cartoon series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini and Rowan Atkinson.

Scooby-Doo Merchandise

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) ITV4 8:00pm-10:40pm
James Bond teams up with a KGB agent to recover missing British and Soviet nuclear submarines, before whoever stole them can use their warheads. Unfortunately, 007 was responsible for the death of his new ally’s lover – and she is determined to make him pay before their mission is complete. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens and Richard Kiel.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV 7:45pm-10:50pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. The first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen and Richard Armitage.

Aliens (1986) Film4 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
Lone survivor Ripley is rescued in deep space decades after an alien creature wiped out her ship’s entire crew. She is recruited to accompany a military expedition to a colony on the planet where she first encountered the monster, only to find the aliens have been reproducing and there are now hordes of them. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) More4 10:10pm-12:35am (2 hours 25 minutes)
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.

Alien 3 (1992) Film4 12:00am-2:15am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Officer Ripley is marooned alone on an all-male prison planet, only to face another of the lethal extraterrestrial creatures – which begins to prey on the inmates. While trying to help them survive, she discovers a terrifying connection between herself and the monster. David Fincher’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver and Charles Dance.

SUNDAY 10th July

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The Parent Trap (1961) Film4 1:00pm-3:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
When twins sisters meet for the first time at summer camp, they decide it is high time their estranged parents got back together again, and hatch an ingenious plan to reunite them by swapping places with each other. Disney comedy, starring Hayley Mills in a dual role as both sisters, alongside Maureen O’Hara, Brian Keith and Leo G Carroll.

Fun Fact: In the shot where Brian Keith trips on the chair, he fell so hard he actually cracked a rib, and kept right on with the scene. OUCH!

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 2:00pm-4:15pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV2 4:15pm-6:35pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.

Back to the Future Merchandise

Earthquake (1974) Film4 3:35pm-6:10pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
In the aftermath of a catastrophic earthquake in Los Angeles, an architect helping in the rescue effort searches the smouldering ruins for his missing wife. Meanwhile, other residents, including an insubordinate cop, a lecherous shopkeeper and a daredevil motorcyclist, face their own battles for survival. Disaster movie, starring Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, Genevieve Bujold, Richard Roundtree and George Kennedy.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Spiceworld: The Movie (1997) Comedy Central 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Musical comedy, following the Spice Girls and their highly strung manager as they board their tour bus and get up to all sorts of strange adventures while preparing for a major concert at the Royal Albert Hall. Also starring Richard E Grant, Meat Loaf, Roger Moore, Bob Hoskins, Elvis Costello, Richard O’Brien, Alan Cumming, Elton John, Jools Holland, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.

X-Men (2000) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine enlist at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

Last Man Standing (1996) ITV4 9:05pm-11:15pm
A tough mobster pitches up at a lonely town on the Texan border during the Prohibition era, and spies an opportunity to cash in on the intense rivalry between warring Irish and Italian crime gangs by offering his services to both sides. Action adventure set in the 1930s, starring Bruce Willis, Christopher Walken and Alexandra Powers.

Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004) 10:00pm-12:50am (2 hours 50 minutes)
Hitwoman the Bride continues her relentless quest to exact revenge on the group responsible for trying to kill her. Two more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad stand in her way before she can face-off against her mysterious mentor Bill. However, she has yet to realise that he has one last surprise waiting for her. Thriller sequel, starring Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah and Michael Madsen.

Kill Bill TShirts

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you don’t forget that thing you’re not meant to forget and to always save the best bits until last.
xoxo