Hulkamania! It must be the weekend!
So on a dewy wet morning amongst the weeds on the patio of an older couples cottage, let us be your slimy velocity challenged invertebrate as we sluggishly drag ourselves across paving slabs of retro movie magic. We’ll slowly devour your prize petunias with cinematic gusto before we succumb to the ever looming threat of the giant welly that is celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 26th JULY
The Love Bug (1968) Film4 4:55pm-7:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Herbie, an irrepressible Beetle car with a mind of its own, takes a shine to a struggling racing driver and helps him to win a string of victories on the track. However, his success attracts the attention of an unscrupulous rival competitor, who will go to any lengths to win the most important race of all. Disney comedy, starring Dean Jones, Michele Lee, Buddy Hackett and David Tomlinson.
Twister (1996) ITV London 4:30pm-6:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A storm-chaser and her estranged husband are brought together in a joint project to monitor the path of an oncoming tornado – but the pair face a race against the clock as a rival government-backed group with hi-tech resources tries to beat them to it. Action thriller, starring Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, Cary Elwes, Jami Gertz and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Sleepy Hollow (1999) Film4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A sceptical 18th-century detective is sent to a small hamlet supposedly terrorised by a demonic headless horseman who decapitates his victims. The investigator refuses to believe in the supernatural, convinced a human killer is behind the murders – but the legend proves to be all but too true. Tim Burton’s gothic horror, starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson and Christopher Walken.
Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000) Comedy Central 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Two friends wake up with the realisation they have absolutely no memory of the events of the night before. They set about retracing their steps – only to stumble across a host of crazy characters, a flock of marauding ostriches and a fanatical alien-worshipping cult. Teen comedy, with Seann William Scott, Ashton Kutcher, Jennifer Garner and Kristy Swanson.
SUNDAY 27th JULY
The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 3:55pm-6:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 5* 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.
X-Men (2000) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine enlist at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.
Rambo (2008) Channel 5 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The bandana-wearing one-man army has turned his back on violence to live a quiet life in Thailand. But before long he takes up arms once again to rescue a party of missionaries who have been taken captive en route to Burma by a sadistic military officer. Action sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Julie Benz and Graham McTavish.
Whatever you get up to this weekend remember a one man Jacuzzi is not romantic and always enjoy yourselves.