Toasted marshmallows! It’s only the bloomin weekend!
Setting up camp in a picturesque clearing in the deep Canadian woods, we’ll be pitching out retro movie canvas just as the light begins to fade. We’ll hustle a fire together and sit looking over the flickering flames as we ponder all the cinematic greatness before zipping up for the night and dreaming of what possible greatness we could capture onto celluloid wonder in the next light.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER
Twins (1988) ITV2 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.
Runaway Bride (1999) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A disreputable journalist hopes to get his ailing career back on track by writing an article about a commitment-shy woman famed for ditching bridegrooms at the altar – but complications arise when the pair meet on the eve of her latest attempt at marriage. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, with Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson.
Teen Wolf (1985) 5* 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) ITV London 3:50pm-6:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The teenage wizard is alarmed to learn a dangerous fugitive sorcerer is searching for him. Meanwhile, a new teacher at Hogwarts helps the bespectacled youngster to protect himself from the school’s soul-sucking security guards. The third in the fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon, Robbie Coltrane and Alan Rickman.
Big (1988) Film4 5:10pm-7:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.
Scarface (1983) ITV4 10:15pm-1:35am (3 hours 20 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.
SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER
The First Wives Club (1996) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three former college friends reunite at the funeral of a mutual acquaintance, who killed herself after her husband left her for a younger woman. Finding themselves in a similar situation, the trio decide to take action and hit their former partners where it hurts most – their finances. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith, Dan Hedaya, Bronson Pinchot and Elizabeth Berkley.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.
Fun Fact: The scene in which Kat reads the “10 Things” poem was the first and only take, according to the DVD extras. Kat’s tears towards the end of the poem were not planned.
Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV London 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.
Home Alone (1990) Sky Movies Family 9:35pm-11:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Christmas 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm, and remember, never take sweets from strangers.