Pie and gravy! It’s the weekend!
Sitting down in a nice quiet corner of our local public house, we’ll set up base camp before gazing over the full collection of delicious meals that await us. After ummm-ing and ahhh-ing between some of our favourte dishes, we’ll take the plunge and order at the bar, bringing back a selection of the finest local ales. Gazing over the hustle and bustle of our surroundings, we’ll wind away the day as content as can be before heading home to watch some of the weekends top retro films. Bliss!
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 2nd MAY
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) ITV2 2:45pm-4:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left in the temporary care of a friend when their owners are forced to move away. Thinking they have been abandoned, the trio hit the road in a bid to find their way home. Adventure, featuring the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche. Kim Greist, Robert Hays and Benj Thall take the human roles.
The Great Outdoors (1988) ITV London 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Easy-going family man Chet Ripley takes his wife and two sons to a lakeside cabin in the wilderness to enjoy a peaceful holiday. However, his plans to relax are ruined by the unwelcome and unannounced arrival of his obnoxious brother-in-law – as well as unexpected intrusions by the local wildlife. Comedy, starring John Candy, Dan Aykroyd and Annette Bening.
Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.
Fun Fact: For the argument between announcers concerning the white and red zones at the airport, the producers hired the same voice artists who had made the real-world announcements at Los Angeles International Airport. At the real airport, the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only, and there’s no stopping in the red zone (except for transit buses). They were also married to each other in real life.
Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:30pm-9:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.
From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 8:00pm-10:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.
The Jackal (1997) 5USA 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An assassin whose identity is shrouded in mystery is hired by a Russian crime syndicate to kill the director of the FBI. As the American and Russian authorities join forces to stop him, they are forced to turn to the only man able to identify the hitman – an imprisoned IRA terrorist, who offers his help in return for his freedom. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier.
RoboCop (1987) Syfy 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A police officer in a future Detroit ravaged by crime is seemingly killed in the line of duty, but is rebuilt as a law-enforcing cyborg by the corporation that has taken over running the force. He begins to remember his human life and seeks to bring his killers to justice – a mission that leads him to turn on his corrupt corporate masters. Sci-fi thriller, starring Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox and Miguel Ferrer.
Cliffhanger (1993) ITV London 10:20pm-12:20am (2 hours)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.
SUNDAY 3rd MAY
Short Circuit 2 (1988) Watch 10:00am-12:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.
Bicentennial Man (1999) Watch 12:10pm-2:45pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A family purchases a robot servant to perform menial tasks but quickly realises this is no ordinary droid when he begins to develop human emotions and the capacity to think for himself, a quality encouraged by his owner’s children. He asks for his freedom, and spends the next 200 years struggling to come to terms with its humanity. Chris Columbus’s sci-fi drama inspired by the books of Isaac Asimov, starring Robin Williams, Sam Neill, Embeth Davidtz and Oliver Platt.
Blue Streak (1999) Channel 5 1:20pm-3:05pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.
Dragnet (1987) ITV London 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.
Legally Blonde (2001) Channel 5 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A seemingly dizzy teenager is heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her because he thinks she is not intelligent enough to help his political career. To prove him wrong she enrols at Harvard, but finds herself out of her depth as other students do their best to humiliate her. Comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis and Victor Garber.
Crimson Tide (1995) Watch 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A veteran US submarine captain receives an incomplete message after a Russian base falls into rebel hands, and is convinced it is an order to fire his nuclear weapons. However, his first officer refuses to take such potentially devastating action without confirmed orders, leading to a deadly battle of wills. Thriller, starring Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington and Viggo Mortensen.
National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) ITV4 9:45pm-11:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.
Face/Off (1997) Watch 11:15pm-2:00am (2 hours 45 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.
Fun Fact: Originally Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were in mind to play the lead roles, but when John Woo was brought in to direct, he decided that John Travolta and Nicolas Cage would be more suited to the roles.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you pay and glasses left on a chair…might get sat on. Just saying.