The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 197

Slap my thigh and shiver me timbers! It’s another retro movie filled weekend!

Like a very keen and mildly experienced racer, we find ourselves faced with a a packed grid in which to take on. We’ll rev up the car and our adrenaline as we speed our way round the twist and turns of the track hunting down our next victim to overtake. Ticking off places like movies in our weekend, we’ll use cunning and tactics to manoeuvre our way through the weekend as we gain a sense of victory with every pass. Taking poll position, we’ll stand proud on the podium gazing back at the weekend that was.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 21st May

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Likely Lads (1976) GOLD 12:35pm-2:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Bob and Thelma embark on a chaotic caravan holiday – with best pal Terry and a glamorous Scandinavian au pair in tow, ensuring that nothing will go according to plan. Comedy based on the TV series, starring James Bolam, Rodney Bewes, Brigit Forsyth and Mary Tamm.

Hulk (2003) ITV 2:20pm-4:55pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 5:05pm-6:05pm (1 hour) 2 part
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future TShirts

Tootsie (1982) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A New York actor’s difficult reputation has rendered him unemployable. When a TV soap advertises a new female role, he disguises himself as a woman for the audition – and wins the part. But the character proves so popular, he is forced to keep up the pretence indefinitely. Comedy, starring Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange and Bill Murray. Directed by Sydney Pollack, who makes a cameo appearance as Hoffman’s agent.

Casino Royale (1967) 7:00pm-8:10pm (1 hour 10 minutes) 2 part
Ageing spy James Bond comes out of retirement to tackle a mysterious mastermind who wants to take over the world. Meanwhile, another agent disguises himself as Bond to face the evil genius over the baccarat table. Spoof spy adventure, starring David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, Orson Welles, Deborah Kerr and Ursula Andress.

James Bond Merchandise

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:20pm-8:20pm (1 hour) 2 part
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

SUNDAY 22nd May

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A Little Princess
(1995) ITV2 1:00pm-2:05pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
A wealthy English girl is sent to an austere New York boarding school, where she charms the other youngsters with her stories of life in India – until her father goes missing in action, leaving her destitute and in the hands of the wicked headmistress. Drama based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel, with Eleanor Bron, Liesel Matthews and Liam Cunningham.

Mars Attacks! (1996) Comedy Central 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Evolution (2001) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

Ghost (1990) More4 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic powers turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Starsky & Hutch (2004) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Two mismatched detectives are forced to work together for the first time to track down a crime kingpin who has introduced a new, undetectable narcotic to the streets – but they struggle to get along. Comedy spoofing the 1970s cop show, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn and Juliette Lewis.

Raw Deal (1986) ITV4 10:00pm-11:00pm (1 hour) 2 part
An FBI agent is discharged for insubordination after assaulting a suspect, and ends up reduced to being the sheriff of a backwater Southern town. He is later offered his old job back – on the condition he will infiltrate a gang of Chicago mobsters and bring their leader to justice for killing the son of the Bureau’s chief. Action thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Wanamaker, Kathryn Harrold, Ed Lauter and Darren McGavin.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always keep your legs and arms inside the kart and remember to take the original out of the copier.

xoxo