Cheese and crackers! It’s only another retro movie weekend full of nostalgia, fun and plenty of dodgy effects! Yep….believe it.
In a world of ever increasing screen revolutions, gigidybits, brandywidths and not forgetting those RAMs…..whatever they are, we find ourselves looking back to the past to remember the simpler times where you simply knocked on a door, popped outside to see who was ‘out’ and perhaps…for the braver of people, rang the landline *shiver*. Back then life wasn’t through a profile or being constantly captured for people to see (thankfully!) but instead we created our very own fun. Invented games in the street, hung out in the coolest parents house (who would let us) and of course….wreaked havoc! Good times.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 9th July
Flight of the Navigator (1986) BBC2 7:45am-9:10am (1 hour 25 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 2:50pm-5:00pm
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.
Small Soldiers (1998) ITV2 2:45pm-5:00pm
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.
Scooby-Doo (2002) ITV2 5:00pm-6:45pm
The hapless hound and his chums reunite after a bitter break-up to solve a baffling mystery in the ghost-themed tourist resort of Spooky Island, whose owner is convinced he has a genuine haunting on his hands. Live-action comedy adventure based on the cartoon series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini and Rowan Atkinson.
The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) ITV4 8:00pm-10:40pm
James Bond teams up with a KGB agent to recover missing British and Soviet nuclear submarines, before whoever stole them can use their warheads. Unfortunately, 007 was responsible for the death of his new ally’s lover – and she is determined to make him pay before their mission is complete. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens and Richard Kiel.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV 7:45pm-10:50pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. The first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen and Richard Armitage.
Aliens (1986) Film4 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
Lone survivor Ripley is rescued in deep space decades after an alien creature wiped out her ship’s entire crew. She is recruited to accompany a military expedition to a colony on the planet where she first encountered the monster, only to find the aliens have been reproducing and there are now hordes of them. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.
Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) More4 10:10pm-12:35am (2 hours 25 minutes)
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.
Alien 3 (1992) Film4 12:00am-2:15am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Officer Ripley is marooned alone on an all-male prison planet, only to face another of the lethal extraterrestrial creatures – which begins to prey on the inmates. While trying to help them survive, she discovers a terrifying connection between herself and the monster. David Fincher’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver and Charles Dance.
SUNDAY 10th July
The Parent Trap (1961) Film4 1:00pm-3:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
When twins sisters meet for the first time at summer camp, they decide it is high time their estranged parents got back together again, and hatch an ingenious plan to reunite them by swapping places with each other. Disney comedy, starring Hayley Mills in a dual role as both sisters, alongside Maureen O’Hara, Brian Keith and Leo G Carroll.
Fun Fact: In the shot where Brian Keith trips on the chair, he fell so hard he actually cracked a rib, and kept right on with the scene. OUCH!
Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 2:00pm-4:15pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.
Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV2 4:15pm-6:35pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.
Earthquake (1974) Film4 3:35pm-6:10pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
In the aftermath of a catastrophic earthquake in Los Angeles, an architect helping in the rescue effort searches the smouldering ruins for his missing wife. Meanwhile, other residents, including an insubordinate cop, a lecherous shopkeeper and a daredevil motorcyclist, face their own battles for survival. Disaster movie, starring Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, Genevieve Bujold, Richard Roundtree and George Kennedy.
You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.
Spiceworld: The Movie (1997) Comedy Central 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Musical comedy, following the Spice Girls and their highly strung manager as they board their tour bus and get up to all sorts of strange adventures while preparing for a major concert at the Royal Albert Hall. Also starring Richard E Grant, Meat Loaf, Roger Moore, Bob Hoskins, Elvis Costello, Richard O’Brien, Alan Cumming, Elton John, Jools Holland, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.
X-Men (2000) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine enlist at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.
Last Man Standing (1996) ITV4 9:05pm-11:15pm
A tough mobster pitches up at a lonely town on the Texan border during the Prohibition era, and spies an opportunity to cash in on the intense rivalry between warring Irish and Italian crime gangs by offering his services to both sides. Action adventure set in the 1930s, starring Bruce Willis, Christopher Walken and Alexandra Powers.
Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004) 10:00pm-12:50am (2 hours 50 minutes)
Hitwoman the Bride continues her relentless quest to exact revenge on the group responsible for trying to kill her. Two more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad stand in her way before she can face-off against her mysterious mentor Bill. However, she has yet to realise that he has one last surprise waiting for her. Thriller sequel, starring Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah and Michael Madsen.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you don’t forget that thing you’re not meant to forget and to always save the best bits until last.