Dunk the bag an pour the water! Another retro movie weekend has just hit our shores and is shaping up to be another beauty from the deep!
With our pillows plumped, our blankets… being blankety and our cups full of something hot, we’re looking as ready as ever to take on another weekend packed full of retro movie gold. Will we be in the future? Will we be taken back to the dark ages? No matter what we’re wearing, we will be able to embark on a mighty adventure from the comfort of our own sofa. Hold on tight peeps!
SATURDAY 13th January
The Borrowers (1997) E4 12:00pm-1:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Sony Movie Channel 1:40pm-3:50pm
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.
Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995) ITV 2:30pm-4:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The friendly whale is reunited with Jesse, the boy who saved him from captivity. Jesse and his younger half-brother Elvis take time out from a family holiday to help save Willy and his pod from the danger posed by oil spilling from a crippled tanker. Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter, Michael Madsen, August Schellenberg and Francis Capra.
Fun Fact: The VHS for this film came with an infomercial to receive donations needed to relocate the star orca, Keiko, back to the ocean.
Short Circuit (1986) Film4 5:05pm-7:05pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.
Mannequin (1987) 5STAR 5:10pm-7:00pm
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.
Payback (1999) ITV4 9:25pm-11:30pm
A small-time crook is betrayed and left for dead by his wife and partner in crime. A year later, he returns seeking his share of their ill-gotten gains – but his former friend has gone up in the underworld and getting his due means taking on a powerful crime syndicate. Remake of 1967 thriller Point Blank, starring Mel Gibson, Kris Kristofferson, Gregg Henry, Maria Bello, James Coburn and Lucy Liu.
Jaws 2 (1978) ITV 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
The seaside resort of Amity is terrorised once again by a man-eating great white shark. While police chief Brody struggles to alert the townsfolk to the magnitude of the danger, a group of teenagers – including Brody’s two sons – is adrift at sea in waters hunted by the shark. Thriller sequel, starring Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary and Murray Hamilton.
SUNDAY 14st January
Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV 2:40pm-4:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.
Dennis the Menace Strikes Again (1998) Channel 5 3:15pm-4:40pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
The pint-sized terror returns to wreak fresh havoc on his long-suffering neighbours, this time setting out to help grouchy Mr Wilson celebrate his birthday – whether he wants him to or not. Sequel to the 1993 family comedy, starring Justin Cooper, Don Rickles, George Kennedy and Brian Doyle-Murray.
Fun Fact: Helen drinks the potion on October 26, 1985. This is the present date in Back to the Future (1985), which was also wrote and directed by Robert Zemeckis.
Hulk (2003) Film4 3:45pm-6:25pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-book adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.
The ‘Burbs (1989) 5STAR 4:00pm-6:00pm
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.
Pixels (2015) Channel 5 6:10pm-8:00pm
Aliens declare war on Earth having seen video games from the 1980s and interpreted them as a threat. Their attack comes in the form of deadly recreations of classic video games, so the US government recruits four former arcade champions to repel the attack. Sci-fi comedy, starring Adam Sandler and Peter Dinklage.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, do the washing up before you leave. You’ll thank us later.