The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 82!

Alphabetti Spaghetti! Looks like the Weekend to me!

Once Upon a cloudy sky. Amongst a thick hazy Forrest, sat hunched over on a hollowed out log, gazing wearily over a steaming boggy marsh. Let us be your be-shaggled woodland Troll as we dribble, droll and blow snot bubbles in anticipation of something slimy and squidgy or boney and crunchy to eat. We’ll be poised and ready to pounce onto some cinematic greatness, we’ll prepare our nasty nosh with herbs and sprinkles of movie magic before we devoir the whole thing in one single gulp and belch out some celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th JANUARY

Stargate (1994) 5*  5:10pm-7:30pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson

The Fifth Element (1997) 5*  7:30pm-10:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman

Saving Private Ryan (1998) More4  10:00pm-1:25am (3 hours 25 minutes)
In the aftermath of the Normandy landings, a group of American soldiers scours the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, who has been given compassionate leave to return home because his brothers have been killed in the conflict. Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper and Vin Diesel

Dogma (1999) Film4  9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Two fallen angels banished to Earth discover a theological loophole could get them back into Heaven – except their plan will cause the world’s destruction. It falls to a lapsed Catholic woman to stop them, with the aid of two so-called prophets, a muse-turned-stripper and a forgotten 13th apostle. Kevin Smith’s comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee and Alan Rickman

SUNDAY 12th JANUARY

Space Jam (1996) Channel 5  3:30pm-5:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Film4  3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges

Coming to America (1988) Film4  9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair

Sixteen Candles (1985) Film4  11:15pm-1:10am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager’s parents forget her birthday, so she tries to get over her disappointment by searching for the man of her dreams, unaware she’s looking in the wrong place. Comedy drama, starring Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry and Anthony Michael Hall

Whatever you get your filthy mitts on this weekend, remember never stare a Gorilla in the eye and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 59!

What the Dickens! The weekend is here!

So in a dense tropical forest a mere sixty five point five million years ago. During the Cretaceous period amongst the fauna and flora of giant rich wild green conifers and blooming white magnolia’s. Let us be your  magnificent three horned  beast the Triceratops as we stomp triumphantly around for mega cinematic greatness forage for retro movie awesomeness and  fight off a Tyrannosaurus Rex for celluloid glory.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th June

The Hunt for Red October (1990) Film4 6:10pm-9:00pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A Soviet submarine commander creates an international crisis by piloting his experimental nuclear vessel, which is invisible to sonar, toward the American coast. The US and Russian navies think he is planning to attack and set out to destroy the submarine, but a CIA analyst suspects he intends to defect to the West. Cold War thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin and James Earl Jones

Coming to America (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) BBC1 London 9:50pm-11:50pm (2 hours )
New York cop John McClane returns to duty following an explosion at a department store in the city. The perpetrator contacts the police and tells them that unless McClane and an unfortunate bystander who was in the wrong place at the wrong time carry out a series of instructions to the letter, more bombs will be detonated. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson and Jeremy Irons

Ghostbusters II (1989) Comedy Central 10:20pm-12:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty
thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson

Men's Ghostbusters Supernatural Spectacular T-Shirt from TruffleShuffle
Men's Ghostbusters Supernatural Spectacular T-Shirt from TruffleShuffle

Black Who Ya Gonna Call Ghostbusters Lounge Pants
Black Who Ya Gonna Call Ghostbusters Lounge Pants

SUNDAY 30th June

Little Shop of Horrors (1986) ITV3 1:55pm-3:45pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A weedy flower-shop assistant grows a bizarre plant, which he discovers needs to feed on human blood to survive. It grows to a vast size and begins to talk, demanding he commit murder on its behalf. Comedy musical based on the Broadway show, starring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin and Bill Murray, with the voice of The Four Tops’ Levi Stubbs.

Groundhog Day (1993) 5* 2:15pm-4:20pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:40pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Cute furball Gizmo is reunited with his human friends Billy and Kate, who now work in the New York offices of an eccentric tycoon. However, it is not long before Gizmo has spawned a new generation of murderous carnivores, who quickly overrun the building – and a genetics lab where they produce even more startling mutations. Joe Dante’s comedy sequel, starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover and Christopher Lee. Edited for daytime broadcast

 Ladies Heather Blue Word To Your Mogwai Gremlins T-Shirt from Sticks and Stones
Ladies Heather Blue Word To Your Mogwai Gremlins T-Shirt from Sticks and Stones

Ladies White Dude Gremlins T-Shirt from Sticks and Stones
Ladies White Dude Gremlins T-Shirt from Sticks and Stones

Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) E4 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A misunderstood soldier who has retired to a Buddhist monastery is drawn back into action for a special mission. A succession of failed rescue missions has left countless American servicemen held hostage in the Middle East, and it falls to him to set them free. Spoof action movie sequel, starring Charlie Sheen, Valeria Golino, Lloyd Bridges and Rowan Atkinson

Wowzers  bonus movie clip time: to get you in the mood how’s about a little carnivorous singing plant “Feed me Seymour”

[lyte id=”L7SkrYF8lCU” /]

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember who said the rhyme did the crime and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 49!

Skinny Pete and Badger too!  It has to be the Weekend!

So, deep beneath the oceans swell amongst the blue and yellow angel fish who swim merrily among the coral and seaweed, where lies the wreckage of the old Hispaniola. Deep inside lurks a devilishly curious octopus who’s made its self at home. Intriguingly let us be your bikini-shell clad mermaid as we search for shiny pearls of movie greatness, look under pebbles for retro cinematic awesomeness and  chase orange and white clown fish for celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend! 🙂

SATURDAY 27th APRIL

Uncle Buck (1989)ITV London 3:35pm-5:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

American Pie (1999)Sky Movies Comedy 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

Under Siege (1992)5USA 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Terrorists infiltrate a US battleship in a carefully orchestrated move to steal its arsenal of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship’s resourceful cook – a veteran US Navy Seal – and a scantily clad stripper are about to foil their plans. Action adventure, starring Steven Seagal, Erika Eleniak, Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones.

Commando (1985)ITV London 10:35pm-12:20am (1 hour 45 minutes)
The daughter of retired special forces officer John Matrix is kidnapped by an old comrade-in-arms, now in league with a deposed former dictator. The tyrant plans to use the girl to force Matrix into assassinating the head of the country he once ruled, but is unprepared for the lengths to which the veteran soldier will go to rescue his child. Action adventure, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rae Dawn Chong.

SUNDAY 28th APRIL

The Cannonball Run (1981)5USA 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
A rogue car racer and his manic sidekick compete in an illegal race across America. The crafty duo plan to use an ambulance to keep one step ahead of the police, but face stiff competition from other eccentric speed enthusiasts, all of whom have plenty of dirty tricks up their sleeves. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore and Dom DeLuise.

Legend (1985)Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

Big (1988)Sky Movies Family 9:45pm-11:40pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his childlike brain and emotions to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Coming to America (1988)Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Haaawoooga! Its bonus movie clip time. This week features something every kid in school wanted after watching this movie.

Unfortunately jumping up and down on your older sisters mini synthesiser does not work – it only gets you a black eye! Sorry Sis 😉

Whatever you get up to this weekend, try not step on the cracks and always enjoy yourselves.

Cheerio.