The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 323

Zaaap, boom, blaw! Another retro movie weekend is here peeps and ready to sweep us off to far and distant lands and dimensions! Triggering our personal portal gun like an adventure weary scientist, we find ourselves leaping into the unknown where anything is possible. What will we face on the other side? Will up be down and down be up? Will life itself be familiar? Only time will tell.

SATURDAY 9th March

Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:10pm
A businessman ventures deep into the Amazon to look for his estranged doctor wife seeking a divorce, only to discover he has a 13-year-old son who has been raised as part of a jungle tribe. The boy is sent back to New York with his father but has a lot to learn about the modern world. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Short, JoBeth Williams and Sam Huntington

Ghostbusters (2016) Film4 9:00pm-11:40pm
When a series of supernatural disturbances occur in New York City, a quartet of experts in the paranormal and their dim assistant investigate. The reboot of the 1980s comedy franchise, starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and Chris Hemsworth.

Ghostbusters T-Shirts

Ghostbusters Who Ya Gonna Call Back Print Navy Boyfriend Fit Rolled Sleeve T-Shirt

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) 5STAR 9:00pm-10:45pm
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

Enemy at the Gates (2001) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:45pm
A Soviet sniper becomes a national hero during the Second World War Battle of Stalingrad, so the Germans enlist a crack marksman of their own to deal with him. A lethal contest of wits follows as the two sharpshooters stalk each other, while the Russian also finds himself caught up in a love triangle with one of his friends. Drama, starring Jude Law, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Hoskins and Ron Perlman.

The Transporter (2002) E4 10:00pm-11:50pm
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.

The Departed (2006) ITV 10:40pm-1:20am
A cop infiltrates the inner circle of a feared Boston mobster, unaware a fellow officer is already an informant on the gangster’s payroll. When both the crooks and the police discover they have a mole in their ranks, the two detectives realise they are in sudden danger and try to expose each other. Martin Scorsese’s Oscar-winning thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin.

SUNDAY 10th March

A Knight’s Tale (2001) Channel 5 1:50pm-4:35pm
A poverty-stricken squire spies an opportunity to make his dreams come true when his employer dies. He takes his place as a knight, launching himself on the road to riches by competing in jousting tournaments, but his ruse is jeopardised by a dastardly nobleman. Comedy adventure, starring Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon and Rufus Sewell.

King Kong (2005) 5STAR 2:45pm-6:10pm
Maverick film-maker Carl Denham and his cast and crew board a ship bound for a mysterious island – but when they arrive, a giant gorilla carries off their leading lady, Ann Darrow. As the crew makes its way through the teeming jungle to find her, the director concocts a dangerous scheme to capture the great ape and take it back to New York. Peter Jackson’s remake of the fantasy adventure, starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis, in a dual role as the ship’s cook and motion-captured creature.

Antz (1998) ITV2 2:55pm-4:40pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

What About Bob? (1991) Sony Movie Channel 4:35pm-6:40pm
A psychiatrist takes on a friend’s client, who turns out to be a well-meaning but annoying neurotic barely able to leave his home. The patient is hugely impressed by the consultant’s methods, leading him to follow the therapist on holiday, where he unwittingly proceeds to make his life hell while winning over his family. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Richard Dreyfuss, Julie Hagerty and Charlie Korsmo.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you leave some time to do somethign just for you. Enjoy!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 317

And just like that… the retro movie rundown is back for another week! Packed with familiar faces and more laughts and action than you would possibly shake a stick it, it’s officially time to kick back and enjoy some of these total classics. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 19th January

Gold (1974) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:45pm
A South African engineer is appointed a general manager of a gold mine and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(2007) ITV2 3:15pm-5:55pm
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Wallet



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV2 5:55pm-9:00pm
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Gifts

Harry Potter Potion Bottle Light



Men in Black (1997) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.



Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 8:05pm-10:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:45pm-12:35am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

SUNDAY 20th January

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 10:50am-12:50pm
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.



See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:25pm
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Dr No (1962) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Overboard (1987) Channel 5 2:40pm-4:55pm
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV2 3:50pm-6:35pm
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical Horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ghostbusters Proton Pack Backpack



Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
The teenage wizard continues his search for the artefacts containing fragments of the dark lord Voldemort’s soul. Time is running out, as the evil sorcerer is aware of Harry’s mission, and marshals his forces for a final, devastating attack on Harry and his friends at Hogwarts school. The conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 6:50pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



The Transporter (2002) Film4 10:50pm-12:35am
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.



Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try starting that thing you’ve been putting off doing for a while, it won’t be so bad.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 193

Tickle my brain and sharpen my pencil! It’s only another retro movie filled weekend!

So like one of the top local quiz teams who are fully clued up and ready to rock, we find ourselves once again sat, ready in anticipation for an evening of the unknown challenges await us. We’ll fend off even the most strange of far afield questions like a top retro movie hero does their enemies before sitting back to enjoy a brief moment after a job well done. Will we be victorious? Only time will tell….but first let’s get another round in.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 23rd April

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Beethoven
(1992) ITV 2:45pm-4:25pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Fun Fact: A young Joseph Gordon-Levitt makes his film debut as a first student in Ted’s class.

Batteries Not Included (1987) ITV2 3:20pm-4:25pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Congo (1995) Film4 4:40pm-6:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An expedition to find King Solomon’s diamond mines in the jungles of the Congo disappears without trace. The tycoon behind the mission sends his assistant, a former CIA agent, to find out what became of the explorers – only to discover that the party met a grisly fate at the hands of a horde of vicious apes. Action adventure based on Michael Crichton’s novel, with Dylan Walsh, Laura Linney, Tim Curry and Grant Heslov.

Street Fighter (1994) Sony Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Street Fighter Merchandise

The Transporter (2002) Channel 4 9:30pm-11:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) ITV 10:20pm-12:10am (1 hour 50 minutes)
An American teenager is sent to live with his father in Tokyo after a brush with the law, but soon becomes involved in illegal street racing. When he ends up owing money to gangsters after losing a race against a driver with Yakuza connections, he has to learn to master the Japanese style of driving to win and pay back his debts. Action adventure, starring Lucas Black, Nathalie Kelley and Bow Wow.

SUNDAY 24th April

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The Flintstones
(1994) ITV2 1:50pm-2:55pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

The Flintstones TShirts

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Film4 2:50pm-4:25pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends get lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

Thunderball (1965) ITV4 4:15pm-5:15pm (1 hour)
James Bond travels to the Bahamas on the trail of two nuclear warheads stolen from a British aircraft. The lethal weapons have fallen into the hands of international crime syndicate Spectre, which plans to fire them at the US coast unless an exorbitant ransom is paid. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi and Lois Maxwell.

James Bond Merchandise

Miss Congeniality (2000) Channel 5 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
A feminist FBI agent is sent undercover as a contestant in the Miss United States pageant when the event becomes the target of a terrorist bomb threat. As she is not exactly catwalk material, a veteran British coach is brought on board to oversee her transformation into a glamorous beauty queen. Comedy, starring Sandra Bullock, Michael Caine, Benjamin Bratt, Candice Bergen and William Shatner.

Bicentennial Man (1999) Sony Channel 6:25pm-9:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A family purchases a robot servant to perform menial tasks but quickly realises this is no ordinary droid when he begins to develop human emotions and the capacity to think for himself, a quality encouraged by his owner’s children. He asks for his freedom, and spends the next 200 years struggling to come to terms with its humanity. Chris Columbus’s sci-fi drama inspired by the books of Isaac Asimov, starring Robin Williams, Sam Neill, Embeth Davidtz and Oliver Platt.

The Karate Kid (1984) Comedy Central 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A teenager at a new school befriends a pretty girl, but her ex-boyfriend is jealous and attacks him. During one particularly bad fight, a wise old caretaker intervenes and defeats the youngster’s assailants using his martial art skills. He goes on to mentor the boy and teach him karate so he can face his enemies in a tournament. Drama, with Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita and Elisabeth Shue.

Karate Kid TShirts

Mission: Impossible (1996) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Assassins (1995) ITV4 9:05pm-10:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
Hitman Robert Rath is planning to quit his lethal profession, especially when he is stalked by a ruthless younger assassin who has no qualms about killing innocent bystanders. But as Rath takes on his last assignment, he decides to protect his intended target after his rival comes gunning for her. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas and Julianne Moore.

Fun Fact: Sylvester Stallone’s paycheck for this 90s thriller was a whopping $15 million!

Sleepers (1996) ITV4 11:45pm-12:50am (1 hour 5 minutes)
Four teenagers are sentenced to reform school after a prank results in the accidental death of an old man, and suffer sexual abuse at the hands of the guards. Years later, when the boys have grown up and begun to follow very different professions, a chance encounter with one of their abusers inspires them to plot revenge. Drama, starring Brad Pitt, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Bacon, Jason Patric and Minnie Driver.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember which candles are for burning and always keep a pump close by.
xoxo