The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 244

Sweet heat and fire of Mount Etna! Another retro movie weekend is before us… time to attack!

Feeling the heat like a dog in front of a roaring fire, we find ourselves panting away the day as we beaver away, creating the most classic, cool and funky creations we possible can. With the fans blowing side to side sending paper everywhere like an impatient child, we’ll remain calm, collected and determined to finish the task at hand with the help from ice cool drinks, summer songs and our unwavering desire to be awesome!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 2nd June

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Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

Matilda (1996) Sony Channel 11:05am-1:15pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito.

Matilda Merchandise

Porridge (1979) Film4 4:50pm-6:40pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are coerced into aiding an escape attempt organised by the sinister Grouty. However, the two jailbirds contrive to break back into prison before their absence is detected by the formidable Mr Mackay. Comedy based on the TV series, starring Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Peter Vaughan, Fulton Mackay and Brian Wilde.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC1 5:50pm-7:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather, or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

Hard Target (1993) ITV4 11:30pm-1:25am
A woman searching for her missing father hires an out-of-work merchant sailor to guide her through the streets of New Orleans, where his martial arts skills are greatly tested in a series of encounters with sadistic hunters of human prey. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Yancy Butler, Lance Henriksen and Wilford Brimley.

SUNDAY 3rd June

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Look Who’s Talking Now
(1993) Sony Movie Channel 10:35am-12:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A family takes in two pet dogs, a scruffy mongrel with discipline problems and a prim and proper pedigree poodle, whose personality clashes create all sorts of mayhem for the household. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, plus the voices of Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito as the canine duo.

Picture Perfect (1997) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
An ambitious executive hires a man to pose as her fiance to give her a stable image at work and attract a colleague who is only tempted by unavailable women. However, her fantasy life soon spirals out of control, leaving her unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction. Romantic comedy, with Jennifer Aniston, Jay Mohr, Kevin Bacon, Olympia Dukakis and Illeana Douglas.

Fly Away Home (1996) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A 13-year-old girl finds an abandoned nest of goose eggs and raises the chicks when they hatch. As winter approaches, the birds need to fly south, so she and her inventor father construct a light aircraft to lead the way. Family adventure, starring Jeff Daniels, Anna Paquin, Dana Delany and Terry Kinney.

My Girl (1991) Sony Movie Channel 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A lonely 11-year-old tomboy feels responsible for her mother’s death, but a boy’s friendship helps her get through her emotional problems. Meanwhile, when she realises her father is falling in love with his new employee, she sets out to do all she can to end the romance. Drama, starring Anna Chlumsky, Macaulay Culkin, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 4:30pm-6:25pm
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 6:25pm-10:00pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.

48 Hrs (1982) Film4 11:10pm-1:00am (1 hour 50 minutes)
A hard-bitten cop goes on the trail of two escaped fugitives who killed several of his fellow officers. He needs someone with inside knowledge of the criminals, and is reluctantly forced to temporarily release a fast-talking thief from prison to help him in his investigation. Comedy thriller, starring Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy and Annette O’Toole.

The Patriot (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:20pm-1:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A neo-Nazi cult leader releases a deadly toxin into the atmosphere above a small town. Soon the residents are dropping like flies, and their only hope turns out to be the local doctor, an ex-CIA chemical researcher. Thriller, starring Steven Seagal, Gailard Sartain and LQ Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay dry, stay safe and stay awesome.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 185

Well hello another weekend! So great to see you again.

Like one of the most eager warehouse workers there has ever been, we find ourselves packing boxes like fitting a plethora or top retro films into a weekend. Thinking carefully and planning to fit everything in, we’ll twist and turn our contents to make it fit just so before taping it all up, standing back and admiring our crafty work.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th FEBRUARY
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Black Knight (2001) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An employee at a run-down medieval theme park suffers a nasty fall and knocks himself out – only to wake up in 14th-century England, where he gets up to all manner of mischief with the knights in shining armour and damsels in distress. Comedy adventure, starring Martin Lawrence, Tom Wilkinson and Marsha Thomason.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:15pm-7:10pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Wayne’s World 2 (1993) Comedy Central 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Heavy metal fanatics Wayne and Garth try to stage a giant Woodstock-style rock festival, with a little help from a spaced-out British roadie and the ghost of Jim Morrison. But Wayne also has to stop his girlfriend leaving him for her slimy manager. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Ralph Brown, Kim Basinger, Tia Carrere and Christopher Walken.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 7:25pm-9:45pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Tremors (1989) ITV4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A dull American town in the middle of the desert is suddenly attacked by huge man-eating subterranean creatures. Luckily, two dimwitted but brave handymen step into the breach to lead a ragtag bunch of locals and a mismatched pair of survivalists in the battle against the gruesome worm-like monsters. Comedy horror, with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Bobby Jacoby.

Scream 2 (1997) Sky1 10:00pm-12:20am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A second serial killer adopts the ghost mask and embarks on a campaign of murder, while survivors of the first massacre try to get to the bottom of the terrifying mystery. Wes Craven’s horror sequel, starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jada Pinkett Smith and Jamie Kennedy.

Raw Deal (1986) ITV4 10:55pm-1:05am (2 hours 10 minutes)
An FBI agent is discharged for insubordination after assaulting a suspect, and ends up reduced to being the sheriff of a backwater Southern town. He is later offered his old job back – on the condition he will infiltrate a gang of Chicago mobsters and bring their leader to justice for killing the son of the Bureau’s chief. Action thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Wanamaker, Kathryn Harrold, Ed Lauter and Darren McGavin.

Braveheart (1995) 10:55pm-2:05am (3 hours 10 minutes)
Account of the life of medieval Scottish hero William Wallace. After the slaughter of his father and brother, young Wallace is taken in by his uncle, who teaches him how to use not only his brawn but his brain – which he employs to great effect years later when he resolves to drive the English out of Scotland. Oscar-winning historical epic, directed by and starring Mel Gibson. With Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack.

SUNDAY 28th FEBRUARY

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Death Becomes Her
(1992) 7:50am-9:55am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 1:35pm-3:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Sony Channel 2:00pm-4:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 2:45pm-4:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV2 3:20pm-5:20pm (2 hours)
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Merchandise

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ITV 3:35pm-6:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the death of a world-renowned scientist working on solar technology draws him into a battle of wits with a stealthy assassin, who dispatches his victims with a golden bullet and has the British secret agent next in his sights. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland and Maud Adams.

Tron (1982) BBC2 4:40pm-6:10pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A computer genius hacks into the mainframe of the company he used to work for, hoping to find evidence against the executive who stole his ideas. However, the intelligent master program running the system transports him into an electronic world, where he is forced to battle gladiators in a series of deadly games. Disney sci-fi adventure, starring Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner and David Warner.

Entrapment (1999) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An elusive professional art thief suspected of stealing a priceless painting is pursued by an insurance agent. However, instead of bringing the criminal to book, she teams up with him to plot the robbery of a lifetime – although neither is sure the other can be trusted. Crime thriller, starring Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames, Will Patton and Maury Chaykin. Including Access at 17.45.

Fun Fact: The film came in $2 million below its budget. Co-producer Rhonda Tollefson credits this to Producer Sean Connery’s thrifty Scottish ways.

Finding Nemo (2003) 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Clown fish Nemo becomes separated from his friends on the Great Barrier Reef – but the thrill of being able to swim freely and away from his overprotective father turns to horror when he is netted by a diver. His distraught dad sets out on a mission to find him and is joined by a host of colourful characters along the way. Pixar animated adventure, with the voices of Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Barry Humphries and Geoffrey Rush.

Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

Back to the Future TShirts

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Sony Channel 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

Shaun of the Dead (2004) ITV2 10:30pm-12:30am (2 hours)
An unambitious 29-year-old man trapped in the job from hell and recently dumped decides to get his life back on track. Unfortunately, he has to put his plans on hold when zombies rise from their graves and stalk the streets of London’s suburbs to feast on the living. Comedy horror, starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield, Dylan Moran, Lucy Davis, Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you keep to your brownie or scouts honour and remember it’s better to dress for cold and be warm, than dress for warm and be cold.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 184

Hot jam doughnuts! It’s the weekend all over again? Okay, well if you insist!

Like a trusty and experienced local fishmongers (bear with us), we find ourselves seeking out some of the finest retro films like that mornings catch of the day. We’re looking for something that’s different, beautiful with plenty of action to it that will dazzle our customers and keep them coming back for more. Keeping our selection cooler than a high school jock in a teen film, we’ll display them with pride like our ever growing DVD collection before selecting the perfect specimen to help us create the perfect fish pie and retro movie night in.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th FEBRUARY

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Death of a Gunfighter (1969) ITV4 2:20pm-4:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A frontier marshal kills a drunken man in self defense, but finds his uncompromising brand of justice is no longer condoned by the locals. When he refuses to step down, the town fathers realise they may have to use violent methods of their own to rid themselves of him. Western, starring Richard Widmark, Lena Horne, Carroll O’Connor and David Opatoshu.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:15pm-7:10pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV London 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Merchandise

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) ITV2 5:35pm-7:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Daredevil explorers Rick and Evelyn O’Connell are called into action when their son accidentally resurrects the evil Chinese Emperor Han from his ancient tomb. The family now faces a race against time to prevent the merciless leader from awakening his vast terracotta army in a plot to take over the world. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh.

Cast Away (2000) BBC2 London 7:00pm-9:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A manager for an American courier service has to fend for himself when a plane crash leaves him stranded alone on a desert island. Initially panic-stricken, he overcomes his terror to survive for four years on his own before building a raft and setting off on an epic journey back home. Adventure drama, starring Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, Nick Searcy, Lari White and Chris Noth.

RoboCop (2014) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A corporation that creates military robots seizes a chance to diversify into law enforcement when a Detroit cop is critically injured in a bombing. He is rebuilt as a crime-fighting cyborg, but struggles to regain his free will from his creators’ control. Sci-fi thriller remake, starring Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton and Samuel L Jackson.

Total Recall (1990) ITV4 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

Fun Fact: Arnold Schwarzenegger was originally going to play the title role in RoboCop (1987), but problems with the costume caused producers to drop the idea. After Schwarzenegger saw “RoboCop”, he said that he loved the movie and wanted to work with director Paul Verhoeven. When he and Verhoeven heard about “Total Recall”, they decided to work on that.

Shanghai Noon (2000) BBC1 London 11:35pm-1:20am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A 19th-century imperial guard to the Emperor of China faces a clash of cultures when he is flung into the Wild West on a mission to rescue a princess who has been kidnapped by a renegade. In a bid to complete his quest, he teams up with a bumbling outlaw. Comedy Western, starring Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Jason Connery and Lucy Liu.

SUNDAY 21st FEBRUARY

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The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) Channel 4 3:05pm-5:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Princess Mia of Genovia discovers that although she is supposed to take the throne on her 21st birthday, unmarried women like her are barred from being head of state. She now has just 30 days to find herself a husband – but an ambitious nobleman is determined to sabotage her hopes of romance. Family comedy sequel, with Anne Hathaway, Hector Elizondo, Julie Andrews, John Rhys-Davies and Chris Pine.

Live and Let Die (1973) ITV London 3:40pm-6:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

The Money Pit (1986) Channel 5 4:35pm-6:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Rate Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

The Fox and the Hound (1981) Channel 5 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An orphaned fox cub is taken in by a kindly widow, and becomes firm friends with a puppy belonging to a hunter. However, as they grow to adulthood, the dog is trained to prey on foxes, and the two animals realise their friendship may not survive as they are expected to be natural enemies. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mickey Rooney and Kurt Russell.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future Clothing

Wayne’s World 2 (1993) Comedy Central 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Heavy metal fanatics Wayne and Garth try to stage a giant Woodstock-style rock festival, with a little help from a spaced-out British roadie and the ghost of Jim Morrison. But Wayne also has to stop his girlfriend leaving him for her slimy manager. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Ralph Brown, Kim Basinger, Tia Carrere and Christopher Walken.

Fun Fact: Nirvana was offered a part in the film as one of the performers in Waynestock and band members Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic were even shown a rough cut of the film to try to persuade them but they eventually declined.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep your chain clean and don’t forget to stay hydrated.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 183

Sweet potato pie! How can it be? Another retro movie weekend so soon? Well….if we must!

Like the first pioneering pilots ever to reach the skies, we find ourselves once again doing some last-minute checks before our big leap of faith into the weekend. Sofa….check! Snacks….check! Top retro characters….you betcha! Firing up our engines, we’ll power our way down the runway before lifting into the unknown. Reaching dizzying heights before we even know it, we’ll be fired off to far and distant lands like some of the most iconic characters ever to hit the silver screen where more adventures than we can even imagine await us.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 13th FEBRUARY

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The China Syndrome
(1979) More4 10:35am-1:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A nuclear power plant controller discovers a potentially disastrous operational flaw but refuses to report it. A visiting TV journalist and cameraman pick up on the story – but as they struggle to get the news on air, a quick-witted engineer realises the danger is far more pronounced than anyone suspects. Thriller, starring Jane Fonda, Michael Douglas, Jack Lemmon and Scott Brady.

Bugsy Malone (1976) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Beethoven (1992) ITV2 2:35pm-4:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:10pm-7:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me TShirts

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) ITV2 7:05pm-9:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Daredevil explorers Rick and Evelyn O’Connell are called into action when their son accidentally resurrects the evil Chinese Emperor Han from his ancient tomb. The family now faces a race against time to prevent the merciless leader from awakening his vast terracotta army in a plot to take over the world. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh.

GoodFellas (1990) Sky Atlantic 10:15pm-12:55am (2 hours 40 minutes)
An Irish-Italian boy from a poor neighbourhood grows up idolising the glamorous lifestyle of the Mafia. Taken under the wing of a mobster, he rises quickly in the world of organised crime. But he soon has to face the realities of murder and treachery, while his involvement in drug deals puts him at risk from both sides of the law. Martin Scorsese’s crime drama, starring Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro and an Oscar-winning Joe Pesci.

Twins (1988) ITV London 10:35pm-12:30am (1 hour 55 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Predator (1987) Channel 4 11:20pm-1:20am (2 hours)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) ITV4 11:20pm-1:45am (2 hours 25 minutes)
An amnesiac teacher starts to experience disturbing flashbacks of her former life and hires a private eye to help her learn more about her history. His findings unearth a murky past and her involvement with a shadowy government organisation – whose agents have been dispatched to kill them both. Action thriller, with Geena Davis and Samuel L Jackson, alongside Patrick Malahide, Brian Cox and Craig Bierko.

SUNDAY 14th FEBRUARY

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Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Dave 11:25am-1:25pm (2 hours)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

84 Charing Cross Road (1987) BBC2 London 1:30pm-3:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An outspoken writer from New York reminisces about her correspondence of many years with an antiquarian bookseller in London, which began as a business arrangement and developed into a close relationship. Romantic drama based on the real-life experiences of Helene Hanff, starring Anne Bancroft, Anthony Hopkins, Judi Dench and Maurice Denham.

Fun Fact: Mel Brooks bought Anne Bancroft the rights to the book “84 Charing Cross Road” for her birthday one year.

The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) BBC2 London 3:00pm-4:30pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Two bachelors using the same pseudonym capture the hearts of a couple of girls during a delightful weekend in the countryside. However, their cunning deception leads to all manner of hilarious confusion as the ladies in question attempt to work out who is who. Adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s comedy, starring Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Frances O’Connor, Reese Witherspoon, Judi Dench and Tom Wilkinson.

Housesitter (1992) Channel 5 3:20pm-5:20pm (2 hours)
An architect has a fling with a kooky waitress, who takes it upon herself to move into his house and pass herself off as his wife. When the woman he is actually in love with says she thinks the sham marriage is good for him, he decides to play along with the deception. Romantic comedy, starring Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, Dana Delany, Donald Moffat and Julie Harris.

Legally Blonde (2001) ITV2 4:15pm-6:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A seemingly dizzy teenager is heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her because he thinks she is not intelligent enough to help his political career. To prove him wrong she enrols at Harvard, but finds herself out of her depth as other students do their best to humiliate her. Comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis and Victor Garber.

Predator 2 (1990) Channel 4 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

While You Were Sleeping (1995) BBC1 London 11:30pm-1:05am (1 hour 35 minutes)
A lonely train-station attendant saves the life of a man she has been in love with from afar. He ends up comatose in hospital, where she is mistakenly introduced to his family as his fiancee. For a while, she decides to keep up the pretense – but comes to regret the deceit when she begins to fall for her supposed partner’s brother. Romantic comedy, starring Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman and Peter Gallagher.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you always reply in the right chat group, and don’t forget to test your spoke alarms.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 182

Great balls of fire! Another weekend, another amazing chance to catch some top retro films!

Trekking our way through the jungle like a khaki wearing explorer, we find ourselves totally and completely surrounded with classic movie wilderness. Each turn will lead to previously unseen territory where we could learn more around the worth around us, find new lands and discover something completely new. Like this weekend’s top picks for retro goodness, there are no wrong turns, just new adventures.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th FEBRUARY

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Mr Bean’s Holiday
(2007) ITV2 2:10pm-4:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Chocolat (2000) Film4 2:40pm-5:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A woman and her daughter move to a sleepy French village in 1959 and brazenly open a chocolate shop directly opposite the Catholic parish church during Lent. At first the locals are enraged and appalled, but her confections soon raise spirits in the community, especially among the wives. Drama adapted from Joanne Harris’s novel, with Juliette Binoche, Johnny Depp, Alfred Molina and Judi Dench.

Beethoven (1992) ITV2 4:00pm-5:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Willow (1988) 5* 4:50pm-7:25pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Shallow Hal (2001) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Superficial Hal is only interested in dating physically perfect women, but his outlook is changed when a self-help guru hypnotises him into seeing inner beauty – and he ends up falling for a spirited overweight woman. However, when the hypnosis wears off he struggles to remember that looks are not everything. Farrelly Brothers comedy, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, Jason Alexander and Joe Viterelli.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 6:50pm-9:20pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5* 7:25pm-10:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Escape from New York (1981) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Former special forces soldier Snake Plissken is sentenced to life on Manhattan Island, an anarchic penal colony for the most dangerous criminals. When Air Force One is hijacked and crashes there, Snake is coerced into rescuing the US president from prisoners holding him hostage. John Carpenter’s sci-fi action adventure, with Kurt Russell, Donald Pleasence, Lee Van Cleef, Adrienne Barbeau and Isaac Hayes.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) AMC 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The foul-mouthed New Jersey layabout and his quiet sidekick discover Hollywood executives are making a film based on them. Fearing for their reputation, they head to Tinseltown to stop it being made, only to fall foul of a gang of female jewel thieves. Comedy featuring the characters from Clerks, directed by and starring Kevin Smith. With Jason Mewes, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Will Ferrell and Shannon Elizabeth.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV London 10:40pm-12:15am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park Clothing

SUNDAY 7th FEBRUARY

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The Princess Bride
(1987) 5* 2:00pm-4:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

School of Rock (2003) E4 2:30pm-4:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A slobbish guitarist dreams of stardom, but his hopes are dashed when the other members of his band kick him out. Struggling to make ends meet, he takes a job as a supply teacher at an exclusive private school, and sets about moulding his pupils into rock gods. Comedy from director Richard Linklater, starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White and Sarah Silverman.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Dave 2:55pm-5:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Fun Fact: The scene where Carrie (Frog) announces her ending up the relationship to Bandit was written by Sally Field, who was about to break up with Burt Reynolds at the time. Reynolds wanted Sally to express her feelings about the breakup on film because he wanted to know how she really felt about him.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) Channel 5 3:40pm-5:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

X-Men (2000) Channel 4 5:35pm-7:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine enlist at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

Little Nicky (2000) Channel 5 5:40pm-7:15pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The Devil decides to put off retirement for a little longer, but his two oldest sons are left fuming – and decide to get revenge by creating Hell on Earth. The job of saving the world falls to their good-natured younger brother, who travels to New York to put things right. Comedy, starring Adam Sandler, Patricia Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans, Reese Witherspoon and Rodney Dangerfield.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Zoolander (2001) Channel 5 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Nighthawks (1981) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Two tough cops are assigned to track down a ruthless terrorist on the streets of New York before he carries out his threat to blow up the UN building – and from randomly picking off innocent citizens as the pressure builds. Action adventure, starring Sylvester Stallone, Billy Dee Williams, Rutger Hauer, Lindsay Wagner, Nigel Davenport and Persis Khambatta.

Patriot Games (1992) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cool and keep it classy.

xoxo