Holy hand grenade! It’s time for another retro movie weekend!
So like many eager, stressed but undeterred Christmas shoppers in the land, we find ourselves once again facing a truly Herculean task of finding, grabbing and wrapping the perfect gift for all of our nearest and dearest. Just like the choice of top retro films this weekend, we’ll be met with a sea of choices with each one battling for our attention. We’ll pick out only the perfect selection to take home and let nothing get in our way in creating the perfect festive day.
Happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 7th December
The Princess Bride (1987) 5* 1:10pm-3:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV 3:20pm-5:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Dave 4:00pm-6:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.
The Rocketeer (1991) Film4 4:45pm-6:55pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A maverick pilot in 1930s Hollywood finds an experimental rocket pack that gives him the power to fly. While he plans to use the device in a stunt act, a Nazi spy masquerading as a movie star is also determined to get his hands on it. Sci-fi adventure, starring Bill Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Timothy Dalton, Alan Arkin and Terry O’Quinn.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) Dave 6:05pm-8:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Captain Kirk is framed for the assassination of the Klingon head of state just as the Federation is about to make peace with their old enemies. As Kirk and Dr McCoy are banished to an icy prison planet, Spock tries to uncover the identity of the real killers. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Christopher Plummer, with appearances by Christian Slater and Michael Dorn from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Star Trek T-Shirts
Lost in Space (1998) ITV2 5:50pm-8:20pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A pioneering scientist takes his family out into space to colonise another planet. However, a saboteur has infiltrated their craft, and his meddling leaves them stranded in unknown territory on the other side of the galaxy. Sci-fi adventure based on the 1960s TV show, starring William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Gary Oldman, Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham.
Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 8:20pm-10:35pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.
Back to the Future T-Shirts
Glory (1989) BBC2 10:45pm-12:40am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Fact-based historical drama chronicling the story of the first all-black regiment to fight in the American Civil War, and the inexperienced officer given the job of training the men and leading them into battle. Starring Matthew Broderick, Cary Elwes, Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington, who received an Oscar for his performance.
Wayne’s World (1992) Dave 12:00am-2:00am (2 hours)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.
Reservoir Dogs (1992) Channel 5 12:00am-1:45am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.
SUNDAY 8th December
Porridge (1979) Film4 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are coerced into aiding an escape attempt organised by the sinister Grouty. However, the two jailbirds contrive to break back into prison before their absence is detected by the formidable Mr Mackay. Comedy based on the TV series, starring Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Peter Vaughan, Fulton Mackay and Brian Wilde.
The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 5:00pm-6:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.
Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) ITV4 5:30pm-8:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Ex-convict Elwood Blues sets about re-forming his band to raise funds for a children’s hospital. But no sooner has he found a suitable lead singer to replace his late brother Jake, than the band end up being pursued by the police, the Russian mafia and his own embittered stepbrother. Comedy sequel, starring Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Joe Morton.
The Jungle Book (1967) Channel 4 5:25pm-7:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A boy is raised by animals in the jungle, leading a carefree life with his friends, a laidback bear and a wise panther. The return of a ferocious tiger who hates humans places the youngster’s life in danger, and his friends must persuade him to return to the safety of his own people. Disney animated adventure based on Rudyard Kipling’s stories, with the voices of Phil Harris and George Sanders.
Jungle Book Merchandise
Bruce Almighty (2003) Channel 5 6:10pm-8:10pm (2 hours)
God tires of a down-on-his-luck reporter’s constant complaining, so passes on His powers to give him a taste of ultimate responsibility. The newsman falls in love with his extraordinary abilities – but a never-ending stream of incoming prayers and his ambitious attempt to please everyone soon prove there is more to the job than meets the eye. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston and Morgan Freeman.
Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.
Rush Hour 3 (2007) E4 9:00pm-10:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An assassination attempt on the Chinese ambassador sets mismatched detectives Lee and Carter off to Paris, on a mission to protect a woman with information on Triad gangs. However, the assignment sends Lee into a confrontation with his own criminal brother. Action comedy sequel, starring Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Max von Sydow, Roman Polanski, Hiroyuki Sanada and Noemie Lenoir.
Daylight (1996) ITV4 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A devastating explosion in the New Jersey Tunnel causes a horrific pile-up, trapping a group of motorists underground. A former emergency worker witnesses the blast and heads in to guide the handful of survivors to safety before the waters of the Hudson river above them break through and flood the tunnel. Disaster movie, starring Sylvester Stallone, Amy Brenneman, Viggo Mortensen, Dan Hedaya and Claire Bloom.
The Faculty (1998) ITV2 12:35am-2:30am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Six high-school students notice their teachers behaving strangely, and realise they have been replaced by shape-changing aliens who are planning to take over the world. Robert Rodriguez’s sci-fi horror, starring Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Josh Hartnett, Robert Patrick and Famke Janssen.
Whatever your up to this weekend, keep it classy and always remember to feed the little birds too.