The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 228

Well jump for joy and sing out a tune! It’s only another retro movie weekend full of tales, adventure and a pinch of romance for good measure.

So! Like one of the worlds most skilled and experienced treasure hunters, we find ourselves in front of an ancient chest adorned with an oh-so intricate lock. Taking note of the mysterious shapes and signs that make up it’s combination, we’ll dig from our many year of learning to twist, click and push out way ever closer to the correct combination. Like this very retro movie weekend, we’re aching to bust it open and reveal all the hidden retro movie treasures that could lay inside.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 21st JANUARY

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Space Jam (1996) ITV2 2:10pm-3:55pm
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer.

90s Merchandise

The Addams Family (1991) E4 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

One Fine Day (1996) 4:40pm-6:50pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The working day for two mismatched single professionals is thrown into turmoil when their children have to stay at home after missing a school trip. The pair agree to take it in turns to babysit while struggling to stick to their hectic schedules – but during the course of the day their feelings for each other blossom unexpectedly. Romantic comedy, starring George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charles Durning and Mae Whitman.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:15pm
A fashion-obsessed woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

Disney Jewellery & Disney Clothing

Dressed to Kill (1980) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A psychiatrist joins forces with a prostitute to investigate the murder of a patient, a frustrated middle-aged housewife who indulged her fantasies by embarking on an extramarital affair and was subsequently killed. Brian De Palma’s thriller, starring Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson, Nancy Allen, Keith Gordon and Dennis Franz.

SUNDAY 22nd JANUARY

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Short Circuit
(1986) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

Retro Movie TShirts

George of the Jungle (1997) Channel 5 3:00pm-4:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American heiress on holiday in Africa gets stranded in the wilderness, but is rescued by a primitive man who was raised by apes. When her cruel fiancee takes her back to the States, the besotted king of the jungle follows, but is unprepared for modern living. Comedy based on the TV cartoon series, starring Brendan Fraser, Leslie Mann, Thomas Haden Church and Richard Roundtree.

Time Bandits (1981) Film5 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bemused schoolboy is escorted on a bizarre journey through time by a group of larcenous dwarfs. His adventures lead him to encounters with various characters from history – but none of them are quite what he had imagined. Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy, starring Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson and David Warner.

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) ITV4 8:00pm-10:00pm
The clumsy cops visit Miami for a police chiefs’ convention to see Commandant Lassard receive an award for his retirement. Any hopes of a sun-kissed vacation are thwarted when a luggage mix-up lands them in the middle of a huge illegal arms deal. Comedy sequel, starring Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow, George Gaynes, Matt McCoy and Leslie Easterbrook.

Trainspotting (1996) Channel 4 10:05pm-11:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A heroin addict makes a series of attempts to kick the habit, but the grind of everyday life and a circle of similarly self-destructive friends keep dragging him back to his old ways. Following a near-fatal overdose, he comes to the realisation that the only way to put his life in order is to rid himself of his friends – which is easier said than done. Danny Boyle’s drama based on Irvine Welsh’s novel, starring Ewan McGregor, Robert Carlyle and Ewen Bremner.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember that no one ever remembers the things they didn’t do.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 227

Flurry and slush! Another retro movie weekend is before us and boy is it a beauty!

Waking up bright and early like the many days before, we slowly ease ourselves into the day with a hot cuppa and a cold milky bowl of something sweet. Stretching out the front door into the bitter cold and blistery winds, we are greeted with what we would describe as the worlds most iced up windscreen ever. Chipping and scraping away at the stubborn cold layer of doom, we’ll begin to see our efforts pay off and just in time before all feeling from our hands is lost.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 14th JANUARY

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The Mummy Returns
(2001) ITV 1:40pm-4:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

The Borrowers (1997) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:00pm-8:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

The Client (1994) ITV4 9:15pm-11:40pm
A Mafia lawyer tells a boy where a politician’s body is buried shortly before committing suicide, prompting a team of district attorneys to press the young witness for information. However, the streetwise kid refuses to give evidence unless his own and his family’s safety is guaranteed, and hires a lawyer to ensure his demands are met. Courtroom thriller based on the novel by John Grisham, with Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones and Brad Renfro.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV 10:45pm-1:15am (2 hours 30 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

SUNDAY 15th JANUARY

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One Fine Day
(1996) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The working day for two mismatched single professionals is thrown into turmoil when their children have to stay at home after missing a school trip. The pair agree to take it in turns to babysit while struggling to stick to their hectic schedules – but during the course of the day their feelings for each other blossom unexpectedly. Romantic comedy, starring George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charles Durning and Mae Whitman.

Space Jam (1996) ITV2 3:00pm-4:45pm
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) Channel 5 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 4:50pm-6:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) ITV4 8:15pm-10:00pm
Commandant Lassard comes to the conclusion that his staff are overworked, so in an attempt to solve the problem, he assigns the clueless cops to teach a group of equally inept civilians how to combat crime. Comedy sequel, with Steve Guttenberg, Sharon Stone, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and David Graf.

The English Patient (1996) ITV3 10:30pm-1:40am
The enigmatic, badly burned survivor of a Second World War plane crash is tended by a French-Canadian nurse in a derelict Italian monastery. He tells her the story of his passionate love affair with a married Englishwoman. Anthony Minghella’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, based on the novel by Michael Ondaatje, starring Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Naveen Andrews, Colin Firth and Kevin Whately.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, keep safe and keep having fun!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 198

Mop our brow and pour us a drink! It’s only another sunny retro movie weekend!

Like an over excited weekender heading to the nearest beach , we find ourselves faced with another few days of adventure, comedy and perhaps a bit or romance as we set up base in the sand for another retro movie extravaganza! With sandy sandwiches and our trusty bucket and spade, we’ll wind away the sunny afternoon with the gentle breeze and sound of the crashing waves. With more layers of sun cream on than there are layers on a gob stopper, we’ll soak up some Sun before dashing the the ice cream van to grab more treats than we know we probably should. Good times.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th May

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Murder on the Orient Express (1974) ITV 1:15pm-3:50pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An American businessman travelling on the Orient Express from Istanbul to Paris tries to hire Hercule Poirot to discover the source of the death threats that have been made against him. The sleuth refuses, but wakes up the following morning to learn the man has been stabbed to death while the train was held up by heavy snow – and there is no shortage of suspects among the passengers. Agatha Christie mystery,

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Sony Channel 2:30pm-4:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Mannequin (1987) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

Fun Fact: Director Michael Gottlieb got the idea for this film when he was walking by a store window and was startled to “see” a mannequin move by itself. He realized it was just an optical illusion caused by a combination of lights and shadows, but began to wonder what would happen if a mannequin actually DID come to life.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 3:20pm-4:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Sister Act (1992) Film4 4:50pm-6:50pm (2 hours)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

The Animal (2001) Comedy Central 6:05pm-7:40pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A man dreams of becoming a police officer, but thinks his chance is lost after a car accident leaves him critically injured. That is, until a deranged scientist offers to rebuild him with the body parts and organs of various animals, making his physique better than ever before. All seems well, until some beastly traits begin to emerge. Comedy, with Rob Schneider, Edward Asner and Colleen Haskell.

Hulk (2003) ITV 7:15pm-8:25pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

The Prestige (2006) BBC2 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
Victorian stage illusionists Robert Angier and Alfred Borden engage in a bitter personal and professional rivalry. The pair resort to increasingly brutal measures to sabotage each other’s acts, while Angier becomes obsessed with the secret behind Borden’s greatest illusion. Christopher Nolan’s mystery thriller, starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Piper Perabo and Scarlett Johansson, with David Bowie as real-life scientific pioneer Nikola Tesla.

End of Days (1999) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A world-weary former police officer encounters the Devil himself on New Year’s Eve 1999, and is spurred into action to stop the Prince of Darkness exploiting an innocent woman to bring about Armageddon. Supernatural thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Rod Steiger, Kevin Pollak, CCH Pounder and Miriam Margolyes.

SUNDAY 29th May

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Beethoven (1992) ITV2 1:50pm-2:50pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Doc Hollywood (1991) ITV3 4:30pm-5:40pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
An arrogant doctor on his way to California causes an accident in a rural South Carolina town and is sentenced to community service at the local hospital. Initially desperate to leave, he gradually comes to appreciate a slower pace of life. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda and George Hamilton.

Fun Fact: At one point Hank Gordon says, “I don’t trust a man who doesn’t eat meat.” In real life, Woody Harrelson is a vegan.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:20pm-6:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me Merchandise

Big (1988) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Police Academy (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An American police college lowers its entrance requirements in the hope of attracting new recruits, and in response, assorted dubious candidates turn up for enrolment. A short-tempered instructor is determined to weed out the bad apples, but a riot provides the clueless cops with a chance to prove their worth. Comedy, starring Steve Guttenberg, Kim Cattrall, Bubba Smith and GW Bailey.

Good Will Hunting (1997) ITV3 10:05pm-11:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes) 2 parts
A troubled maths genius refuses to use his gift, preferring to work as a janitor and lead a normal life with his friends. Eventually, a university professor persuades him to see a psychologist, who befriends him and proves the only person able to help him come to terms with his talent and past traumas. Drama, written by and starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who won Oscars for their screenplay. With Robin Williams, Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgard.

Whatever you’re up to this long retro weekend, make sure you have an outside towel and an inside towel and don’t forget to bring enough socks. Matching optional.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 191

Well blow me down and kick my shin! It’s only another retro movie filled weekend!

Drip, drip, drop,
Little April shower,
Beating a tune as you fall all around
Drip, drip, drop Little April shower
What can compare with your beautiful sound?
Beautiful sound, beautiful sound
Drip, drop, drip, drop

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 9th April

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Picture Perfect
(1997) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
An ambitious executive hires a man to pose as her fiancée to give her a stable image at work and attract a colleague who is only tempted by unavailable women. However, her fantasy life soon spirals out of control, leaving her unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction. Romantic comedy, with Jennifer Aniston, Jay Mohr, Kevin Bacon, Olympia Dukakis and Illeana Douglas.

Henry V (1989) BBC2 1:00pm-3:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The English king leads his armies into war to reclaim control of France – culminating in a pivotal confrontation with much larger enemy forces on the fields of Agincourt. Adaptation of Shakespeare’s historical play, directed by and starring Kenneth Branagh. With Derek Jacobi, Brian Blessed, Emma Thompson, Ian Holm, Robert Stephens and a young Christian Bale.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) ITV4 2:00pm-3:00pm (1 hour)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) 5STAR 1:25pm-3:35pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The Enterprise crew faces a bitter battle to the death with an old enemy. Khan, a genetically engineered superhuman tyrant, has escaped exile on a barren planet and hijacked a starship to take his revenge on Admiral Kirk, while also scheming to turn an experimental planet-creating device into a doomsday weapon. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban and Kirstie Alley.

Star Trek Merchandise

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 3:45pm-4:45pm (1 hour)
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.

James Bond Merchandise

King Kong (2005) ITV2 4:45pm-5:45pm (1 hour)
A maverick film-maker and his cast and crew board a ship bound for a mysterious island – but when they arrive, a giant gorilla carries off their leading lady. As the crew makes its way through the teeming jungle to find her, the director concocts a dangerous scheme to capture the great ape and take it back to New York. Peter Jackson’s remake of the fantasy adventure, starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Andy Serkis and Adrien Brody.

Starman (1984) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An alien who crash-lands on Earth falls in love with a widow after assuming her dead husband’s identity as a cover, but the duo are soon fleeing the authorities in a frantic effort to reach an extraterrestrial rescue ship. Sci-fi fantasy romance, directed by John Carpenter and starring Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Jaeckel and Robert Phalen.

I, Robot (2004) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The inventor of an advanced form of intelligent robot is found dead, and the detective investigating the case is certain that one of the scientist’s mechanical creations is responsible – but no one believes his theory because the robots have been programmed to prevent them from harming humans. Sci-fi thriller, inspired by the Isaac Asimov stories, starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan and Alan Tudyk.

The Fast and the Furious (2001) ITV 9:25pm-10:25pm (1 hour)
In a move to identify suspected hijackers, an undercover police officer infiltrates the high-octane world of illegal late-night street racing by rival gangs. He is befriended by a champion driver, but when he also forms a bond with the racer’s sister, he is pitched into a conflict of loyalties. Thriller, starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster.

Die Hard (1988) Channel 4 10:00pm-12:35am (2 hours 35 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Passenger 57 (1992) ITV4 10:00pm-11:00pm (1 hour)
After his wife is shot dead during a robbery, a cop hands in his badge and takes up a job offer from an old friend to be a security adviser for a major transatlantic airline. On the flight taking him to his new employers in Los Angeles is an international terrorist being escorted to trial by the FBI – while the prisoner’s accomplices are disguised as passengers and crew and plan to hijack the plane. Action thriller, with Wesley Snipes, Bruce Payne, Tom Sizemore, Alex Datcher, Bruce Greenwood and Elizabeth Hurley.

Fun Fact: Originally, the role played by Wesley Snipes was offered to Sylvester Stallone but Stallone turned it down. However, just for fun, the script writer named one of the major characters, “Sly”, short for Sylvester and a nickname for Stallone.

SUNDAY 10th April

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The Addams Family
(1991) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Small Soldiers (1998) ITV2 1:25pm-2:25pm (1 hour)
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 3:35pm-4:35pm (1 hour)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean TShirts

Licence to Kill (1989) ITV 4:10pm-6:40pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond plans revenge on a drug baron who maimed his friend. However, when the British government refuses to take official action, 007 finds himself stripped of his licence to kill and forced to go it alone without the backing of MI6. Spy thriller, starring Timothy Dalton, Robert Davi, Carey Lowell, Talisa Soto and Benicio Del Toro.

Fun Fact: At 21 years old, Benicio Del Toro is the youngest actor to ever play a villain in a James Bond film.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Comedy Central 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) Dave 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Wisecracking Detroit detective Axel Foley returns to Los Angeles to investigate the shooting of an old friend, and uncovers a connection with a spate of violent robberies carried out by a criminal who leaves a mysterious calling card. Comedy thriller sequel, with Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Ronny Cox and Brigitte Nielsen.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) Gold 11:40pm-1:20am (1 hour 40 minutes)
An ageing British rock band try to revive their fortunes by embarking on a US tour, with a film-maker on hand to record the mayhem. However, the big comeback soon turns into a series of disasters as tensions between the clueless rockers and their long-suffering manager reach breaking point. Spoof documentary, starring Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Rob Reiner.

The Blair Witch Project (1998) 12:25am-2:00am (1 hour 35 minutes) *If you DARE*
Three film students head into the American backwoods to make a documentary about the fabled Blair Witch. There proves to be more to the urban legend than meets the eye, and as night falls they find themselves in very real danger. Horror, presented as camcorder footage shot by the characters during their investigation, starring Heather Donahue, Michael Williams and Joshua Leonard.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember that packing more than you need can be more of a hindrance than a help and that some things are better left unexplained.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 190

Slap my thigh and tickle my side! It’s another retro movie filled weekend!

With the weary Sun juuuuust starting to peep it’s head through the clouds welcoming a new season and (for us anyway) a much more fun part of the year, we find ourselves peering out of the window with anticipation and excited eyes as we imagine all the wonderful things that could just be on the horizon. Could it be camping? Could it be hiking? Or perhaps could it be the first day of 2016 where a tshirt if just about what you can get away with? Only sweet time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 2nd April

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Fantastic Mr Fox
(2009) E4 9:00am-10:45am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Merchandise

Bugsy Malone (1976) More4 10:00am-11:50am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Captain Ron (1992) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
An American businessman learns that his recently deceased uncle has left him a yacht moored in the Caribbean, and ill-advisedly puts his trust in a wayward one-eyed mariner to help him and his family sail the vessel back to Miami. Comedy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Martin Short, Mary Kay Place and Benjamin Salisbury.

Sister Act (1992) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

A Little Princess (1995) ITV2 2:25pm-3:25pm (1 hour)
A wealthy English girl is sent to an austere New York boarding school, where she charms the other youngsters with her stories of life in India – until her father goes missing in action, leaving her destitute and in the hands of the wicked headmistress. Drama based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel, with Eleanor Bron, Liesel Matthews and Liam Cunningham.

Dr No (1962) ITV4 4:00pm-5:00pm (1 hour)
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) Film4 4:45pm-6:45pm (2 hours)
A businessman ventures deep into the Amazon to look for his estranged doctor wife seeking a divorce, only to discover he has a 13-year-old son who has been raised as part of a jungle tribe. The boy is sent back to New York with his father, but has a lot to learn about the modern world. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Short, JoBeth Williams and Sam Huntington.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) 5STAR 5:45pm-8:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The Enterprise crew faces a bitter battle to the death with an old enemy. Khan, a genetically engineered superhuman tyrant, has escaped exile on a barren planet and hijacked a starship to take his revenge on Admiral Kirk, while also scheming to turn an experimental planet-creating device into a doomsday weapon. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban and Kirstie Alley.

Star Trek Merchandise

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 7:35pm-8:35pm (1 hour)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Alien (1979) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Crew members of a cargo spacecraft answer a distress call from a derelict alien vessel. However, their mission of mercy has fatal repercussions when a deadly, seemingly indestructible monster gets on board their ship and starts killing them one by one. Ridley Scott’s sci-fi horror, starring Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Ian Holm and John Hurt.

Alien TShirts

Hot Fuzz (2007) ITV 10:45pm-12:50am (2 hours 5 minutes)
An overly zealous, by-the-book London policeman is reassigned to a sleepy country village where the crime rate is virtually zero, and teamed up with an eager but dimwitted partner. But just as the officer’s uneventful new environment begins to chafe, a grisly series of so-called accidents gives him reason to suspect a strange conspiracy is afoot. Action comedy, with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton and Paddy Considine.

SUNDAY 3rd April

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The Living Daylights
(1987) ITV 4:10pm-6:35pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond crosses the continents to help a KGB agent to defect to the West. While protecting him from an unknown assassin, the super-spy is drawn into the world of arms dealing and a plot to trade millions of pounds’ worth of diamonds for weapons to supply mercenaries around the world. Action adventure, with Timothy Dalton making his debut appearance as 007, alongside Maryam d’Abo, Joe Don Baker and Art Malik.

Grease 2 (1982) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A shy English boy joins the senior class at Rydell High and immediately falls for the leader of the Pink Ladies. But she is only interested in tough guys, forcing him to adopt a dual identity as a mysterious biker. Musical sequel, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Maxwell Caulfield, Lorna Luft, Eve Arden and Sid Caesar, with Didi Conn reprising her role as Frenchy from the original film.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
The chauvinistic host of a top-rated American news programme in 1970s San Diego fights for his status and job security when both are threatened by the arrival of an ambitious female reporter, whose determination to become a newsreader leads to a bitter battle of the sexes. Comedy, starring Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Fred Willard and Steve Carell.

Anchorman Merchandise

Police Academy (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour)
An American police college lowers its entrance requirements in the hope of attracting new recruits, and in response, assorted dubious candidates turn up for enrolment. A short-tempered instructor is determined to weed out the bad apples, but a riot provides the clueless cops with a chance to prove their worth. Comedy, starring Steve Guttenberg, Kim Cattrall, Bubba Smith and GW Bailey.

The American President (1995) ITV3 10:15pm-11:15pm (1 hour)
The US president embarks on a relationship with an environmental lobbyist – but his delighted opponents jump at the chance to drag the pair through the gutter press, putting their romance and his career in jeopardy. Rob Reiner’s political comedy, starring Michael Douglas, Annette Bening, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss and Michael J Fox.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it funky and keep it fresh.

xoxo