The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 96

Jalapeño poppers! it looks like the Weekend!

So in a dimly lit office building. Sat with our feet up behind a desk stacked with papers of non descriptive relevance, let us be your trilby hatted, trench coat wearing private detective as we go on the snoop for retro movie greatness, we’ll search for clues of cinematic magnificence. Before we catch the culprit red handed with celluloid wonder. Aha!

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 26th APRIL

Masters of the Universe (1987) Sky Movies Superheroes 6:00 pm-8:00 pm (2 hours)
The heroic warrior He-Man sets out to bring an end to the evil Skeletor’s reign of terror, but is transported to Earth by a cosmic key, with his arch enemy’s henchman in hot pursuit. Fantasy adventure, starring Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster and Billy Barty.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) Film4 9:00 pm-10:45 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A stressed businessman just wants to make it home to spend Thanksgiving with his family. However, when his flight is forced to land miles from its destination, he finds himself sharing a disaster-strewn journey across America with an amiable but slobbish salesman. Comedy road movie, starring Steve Martin, John Candy, Laila Robins, Kevin Bacon and Michael McKean.

The A-Team (2010) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Four soldiers are sent on a top secret mission in Iraq that results in them being imprisoned for a crime they did not commit. When they learn the culprit is trying to sell equipment for producing fake currency, they break out of prison to find him and the evidence of their innocence. Action adventure based on the 1980s TV series, with Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Quinton `Rampage’ Jackson.

Men's Khaki Mr Fool Pets Rock T-Shirt Men's A-Team Mr T Fancy Dress Costume

Halloween II (1981) 5USA 11:00 pm-1:00 am (2 hours)
In the aftermath of masked killer Michael Myers’ killing spree, survivor Laurie Strode is rushed to hospital, while the madman is still alive and still at large. As the obsessive Dr Loomis continues his pursuit of the killer, Myers goes in search of Laurie, who has a connection to his own horrific past. Horror sequel, starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence and Dick Warlock.

Ladies Halloween Michael Myers Slash Back Tank Vest from Goodie Two Sleeve

SUNDAY 27th APRIL

The Land Before Time (1988) Channel 5 12:40 pm-2:10 pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A young brontosaurus is left alone when his mother dies, so goes off in search of a legendary valley, where food is plentiful and he will be safe. He acquires a group of new friends on his journey, who help each other to avoid predators and obstacles in their way. Animated adventure, featuring the voices of Gabriel Damon and Pat Hingle.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) Channel 5 2:10 pm-3:45 pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left in the temporary care of a friend when their owners are forced to move away. Thinking they have been abandoned, the trio hit the road in a bid to find their way home. Adventure, featuring the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche. Kim Greist, Robert Hays and Benj Thall take the human roles.

Sister Act (1992) E4 8:00 pm-10:05 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

Bad Boys (1995) Channel 5 11:10 pm-1:20 am (2 hours 10 minutes)
Detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett search for a $100million heroin consignment brazenly stolen by a French drug kingpin from the police evidence room. However, after a mix-up over a phone call from a potential witness, each cop has to assume the other’s identity – Lowrey becoming the henpecked family man and Burnett the playboy. Michael Bay’s action thriller, starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Tea Leoni, Tcheky Karyo and Theresa Randle.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember to buckle up for safety and always enjoy yourselves.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 94

Uncle Edgars twirling moustache! It’s only the weekend! Somewhere deep inside a dense African forest, let us be your forever migrating herd of magnificently giant but eloquent elephants, as we plough our way through the thick bush of retro movie magic looking for  vegetation to nourish our cinematic hunger before we stop and bathe in an oasis of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 12th APRIL

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV London 1:15 pm-3:00 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed

The Goonies (1985) Channel 5 2:15 pm-4:25 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Seven youngsters uncover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton. Edited for language and violence.

Men's Goonies Chunk Do The Truffle Shuffle T-Shirt Ladies Heather Pink Goonies Never Say Die T-Shirt

The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 2:35 pm-4:50 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt

Men's Green Keep Calm Don't Make Me Angry Incredible Hulk T-Shirt Marvel Hulk T-Shirt

Toy Story (1995) BBC3 8:30 pm-9:45 pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.

SUNDAY 13th APRIL

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Film4 3:10 pm-4:45 pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss

Ladies Roald Dahl James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt Men's Roald Dahl James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt

Octopussy (1983) ITV London 3:55 pm-6:25 pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond investigates the mysterious death of a British agent in East Berlin, a mission that leads him to a glamorous, international jewel thief. He discovers one of her criminal cohorts, an Indian gangster, is in league with a crazed Soviet general who plans to heat up the Cold War by detonating a nuclear bomb in an American Air Force Base. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Steven Berkoff and Louis Jourdan

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 4:00 pm-6:00 pm (2 hours )
A military officer heads up a band of martial arts experts on a mission to defeat an insane dictator holding a group of people hostage. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue, Simon Callow and Ming Na

Private Benjamin (1980) ITV3 10:00 pm-12:20 am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember never do a rain dance in the living room and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 93

Thar she blows! It can only be the Weekend!

So like a mid eighteenth century Whaling vessel let us be your sea hardened, weather beaten, bearded captain with a stern but fair persona. As we sail hard heartedly across vast oceans of retro movie mayhem, we’ll peer one eyed through our brass telescope for the elusive humped back of cinematic greatness before we thrust our long and rusty harpoons into the salty meaty flesh of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th APRIL

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00 pm-2:50 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Twins (1988) ITV London 12:30 pm-2:30 pm (2 hours )
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) 5* 3:15 pm-4:55 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th APRIL

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) Sky2 11:45 am-2:00 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito

Casper (1995) ITV2 1:30 pm-3:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Hairspray (2007) Channel 4 3:25 pm-5:40 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Musical remake of the comedy about Tracy, an overweight teenager in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of appearing on a TV dance show. However, a jealous rival and her scheming mother are determined to destroy her ambition – especially when Tracy tries to fight racism in the community. Starring Nikki Blonsky, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, James Marsden, Queen Latifah and John Travolta in drag as the heroine’s mother.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00 pm-11:20 pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember check behind your ears for spuds and all ways enjoy yourselves.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 91

Slap my knee and stamp my foot it’s only the weekend!

Like the busy paper hatted waiter at an American style diner, let us be your hard working hero as we rush around, spinning plates, filling fizzy drinks to the brim and serve up yet even more cinematic greatness until you’re fit to burst! Grab your bill and tip well as we you marvel in our classic 80s celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd MARCH

The Addams Family (1991) Film4 1:00 pm-2:55 pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken

Field of Dreams (1989) ITV4 11:10 am-1:20 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball pitch in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV London 3:30 pm-5:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson

Mannequin (1987) 5* 5:05 pm-7:00 pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall

SUNDAY 23rd MARCH

The Witches (1990) Channel 5 3:50 pm-5:35 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy goes on holiday with his grandmother to a seaside hotel hosting a convention of witches, who have come together to hear their leader’s plan to turn all the children in England into mice. When the chief hag discovers the young lad eavesdropping at their meeting, she decides to make him one of her first victims. Children’s fantasy directed by Nicolas Roeg, based on the book by Roald Dahl, and starring Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Jane Horrocks, Rowan Atkinson and Brenda Blethyn

The Witches T-Shirt
Ladies Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt

Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt
Men's Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt

This Is England (2006) Film4 9:00
Twelve-year-old Shaun lives with his mother in a shabby council flat in a bleak northern town and is lacking direction after losing his father in the Falklands War. At school, he is befriended by a skinhead gang and the leader takes the boy under his wing – a tie that draws Shaun into a world of racism and violence, but one where he begins to find a new identity. Shane Meadows’ drama set in the 1980s, starring Thomas Turgoose, Stephen Graham and Jo Hartley

Whip It (2009) ITV2 7:50 pm-10:00 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Misfit teenager Bliss grows tired of her small-town life and pushy mother, who is trying to relive her lost youth by making her daughter compete in beauty pageants. When she discovers the fast-paced sport of roller derby, Bliss is instantly hooked and joins a struggling team, but has to keep it a secret from her family. Comedy drama, starring Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore, who also directed.

Dogma (1999) Channel 4 10:55 pm-1:20 am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Two fallen angels banished to Earth discover a theological loophole could get them back into Heaven – except their plan will cause the world’s destruction. It falls to a lapsed Catholic woman to stop them, with the aid of two so-called prophets, a muse-turned-stripper and a forgotten 13th apostle. Kevin Smith’s comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee and Alan Rickman

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to turn off the tap while brushing and turn the lights off. 🙂

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 88

Wizbits’ magic hat! Is it the Weekend!

So in a not too distant post apocalyptic Earth, let us be your marauding horde of flesh hungry zombies, clumsily ploughing through the debris of a broken and deserted city street. As we go moaningily looking with our good eye for retro movie mayhem, well hobble, limp and drag our half an eaten carcass for cinematic awesomeness before cornering and ripping apart the fresh plump flesh of celluloid wonder.

Gave a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd FEBRUARY

A League of Their Own (1992) TCM 3:00pm-5:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
An alcoholic former professional player reluctantly agrees to train an all-female baseball team during the Second World War. With star player Dottie Hinson and her sister Kit on board, they look set to dominate the league – until sibling rivalry rears its head. Comedy drama, starring Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Tom Hanks and Madonna

A League of Their Own

Superman II (1980) ITV4 5:20pm-7:55pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The Man of Steel meets his match in the form of three fugitive villains from his home planet of Krypton. Flying down to Earth, the super-powered trio unleash a reign of terror in a bid to take over the world – but Superman is not there to stop them, having surrendered his powers to lead a normal life with his beloved Lois Lane. Comic-strip adventure sequel, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp and Margot Kidder.

Men's Vintage Blue Distressed Superman Logo DC Comics T-Shirt
Men's Vintage Blue Distressed Superman Logo DC Comics T-Shirt

Ladies Vintage Blue Distressed Superman Logo DC Comics T-Shirt
Ladies Vintage Blue Distressed Superman Logo DC Comics T-Shirt

Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A computer operator stumbles across an SOS from an English spy trapped in Eastern Europe. While trying to help him contact his superiors, she is plunged into international espionage, and ends up being pursued by KGB assassins and faced with unmasking a mole in British intelligence. Spy comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Jonathan Pryce, James Belushi, Roscoe Lee Browne and Carol Kane.

Airplane! (1980) E4 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the members of the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Airplane!

SUNDAY 23rd FEBRUARY

Freaky Friday (1976) Film4 4:20pm-6:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A mother and her rebellious teenage daughter’s simultaneous wishes to trade places results in them magically switching bodies for a day and gaining an unforgettable insight into each others lives. Disney fantasy comedy, with Jodie Foster, Barbara Harris, Patsy Kelly, John Astin, Charlene Tilton and Sorrell Booke

Freaky Friday

Junior (1994) ITV2 5:15pm-7:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A fertility expert pioneers a treatment enabling men to become pregnant and carry babies to full term. When the authorities cancel funding for the research, he decides to test it on himself, but gives little thought to how difficult it will be to keep it a secret. The situation is further complicated when he starts to fall for the woman whose child he is carrying. Comedy, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Emma Thompson and Frank Langella.

Junior 1994

Independence Day (1996) Film4 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr

Independence Day

Kalifornia (1993) MGM Channel 8:40pm-10:40pm (2 hours)
A writer and his photographer girlfriend, who are researching a book on serial killers, travel across America with a former convict and his naive teenage girlfriend. They remain unaware that their traveling companion is exactly the kind of mass murderer they have only read about. Thriller, starring Brad Pitt, David Duchovny, Juliette Lewis and Michelle Forbes

Whip Crackalaka! Bonus movie clip time this week a little Airplane!

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember to get milk and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo