The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – The Big Christmas One!

It’s the big one peeps! Our Christmas Retro Movie Rundown has crached it’s way onto your roof and is here to spread some Christmas joy in the form or some of the best retro movies ever made!
Grab yourself a mince pie, a glass of something naughty and settle in to watch some of our top picks hitting the small screen. Merry Christmas peeps!

SATURDAY 22nd December

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 10:55am-1:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 12:45pm-2:30pm
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978 and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.



The Wizard of Oz (1939) ITV3 1:00pm-3:00pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.



101 Dalmatians (1996) 5STAR 2:45pm-4:50pm
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

Disney Merchandise

Disney 101 Dalmatians Heat Change Mug



Crocodile Dundee (1986) Channel 4 6:10pm-8:00pm
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Crocodile Dundee TShirts

https://www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/movies/crocodile-dundee



Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) ITV 6:30pm-9:00pm
The rebel heroes set out to rescue Han Solo from the clutches of alien gangster Jabba the Hutt before preparing for a decisive attack on the evil Empire. Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker faces a more personal battle in a final confrontation with Darth Vader that leads him to the inner sanctum of the Emperor himself. The conclusion of the original sci-fi trilogy, starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher.

Star Wars TShirts

Star Wars Lightsaber Jedi T-Shirt

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:05pm-9:00pm
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 11:05pm-1:55am
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

SUNDAY 23rd December

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Channel 4 6:55am-8:10am
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends become lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

The Rugrats Clothing

Rugrats Reptar Chase Coral Pink Rolled Sleeve Boyfriend T-Shirt



Bugsy Malone (1976) ITV3 12:45pm-2:45pm
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch-rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 4:30pm-6:20pm
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Elf (2003) ITV2 4:55pm-7:00pm
A child is taken in by kind-hearted Santa and raised as an elf – so it comes as a shock when he discovers years later that he is in fact human. Deciding to get back to his roots, he heads off for New York in search of his long-lost family but is ill-prepared for the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple. Fantasy comedy, starring Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel and Edward Asner.

Elf Movie TShirts

Elf Clothing



Men in Black II (2002) Channel 4 6:20pm-8:00pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

The Grinch (2000) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm
A little girl residing in the Christmas-obsessed town of Whoville becomes fascinated with a grouchy creature living in the mountains. But her efforts to make him part of their celebrations leave him more bitter than ever, and he resolves to ruin the festive season. Fantasy comedy, based on Dr Seuss’s children’s book, with Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Jeffrey Tambor and Molly Shannon. Anthony Hopkins narrates.

The Grinch TShirts

the Ginch TShirts



There’s Something About Mary (1998) 5STAR 10:55pm-1:20am
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

Christmas Eve

A Christmas Carol (1984) Channel 4 11:45am-1:45pm
Miser Ebenezer Scrooge is given a Christmas Eve to remember when a quartet of ghosts – his dead business partner and the spirits of Christmases past, present and future – turn up determined to cure him of his money-grubbing ways. Adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic, starring George C Scott, Nigel Davenport, Frank Finlay, Angela Pleasence, David Warner, Edward Woodward and Susannah York.

The Grinch (2000) ITV 12:55pm-2:55pm
A little girl residing in the Christmas-obsessed town of Whoville becomes fascinated with a grouchy creature living in the mountains. But her efforts to make him part of their celebrations leave him more bitter than ever, and he resolves to ruin the festive season. Fantasy comedy, based on Dr Seuss’s children’s book, with Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Jeffrey Tambor and Molly Shannon. Anthony Hopkins narrates.

The Grinch Mugs

The Grinch Get Naughty Mug



Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) Sony Movie Channel 2:55pm-4:45pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV 3:25pm-5:30pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Jingle All the Way (1996) Film4 4:55pm-6:50pm
A workaholic father tries to make up for his perpetual absence from home by promising to buy his son a hugely popular action figure for Christmas – little realising every other father in town has the same idea. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Jake Lloyd, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad and Phil Hartman.



Mary Poppins (1964) BBC1 5:00pm-7:15pm
A practically perfect Edwardian nanny brings magical fun, laughter and adventure into the humdrum lives of a young brother and sister – much to the alarm of their disciplinarian father. Disney’s musical fantasy based on PL Travers’ novel, starring Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, Glynis Johns, David Tomlinson, Karen Dotrice and Matthew Garber.

Mary Poppins Merchandise

Disney Mary Poppins Practically Perfect Cup & Saucer Set



Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters TShirts

Ghostbusters TShirts



Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. A remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea For One Set



Gremlins (1984) ITV 9:30pm-11:35pm
A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde of murderous little monsters, and their devilish antics bring mayhem to a small town. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton and Polly Holliday.

Gremlins TShirts

Gremlins TShirt

Christmas Day

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 10:45am-1:05pm
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. A musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

My Neighbour Totoro (1988) Film4 12:45pm-2:40pm
Two sisters move to a new home in the countryside when their mother is taken ill. They are thrilled to discover the house is next to an enchanted forest and befriending the eldest and wisest of the strange magical creatures dwelling there. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Dakota and Elle Fanning.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) Channel 5 3:10pm-6:05pm
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Channel 4 4:00pm-5:40pm
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) Channel 4 5:40pm-8:00pm
Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and finds himself heading for New York, while his family jets off to Florida. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel – until he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Brenda Fricker and Tim Curry.

Elf (2003) ITV2 5:40pm-7:45pm
A child is taken in by kind-hearted Santa and raised as an elf – so it comes as a shock when he discovers years later that he is in fact human. Deciding to get back to his roots, he heads off for New York in search of his long-lost family, but is ill-prepared for the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple. Fantasy comedy, starring Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel and Edward Asner.



Apollo 13 (1995) ITV3 7:35pm-9:15pm
Fact-based drama about the ill-fated 1970 Apollo 13 mission to the moon. Crew leader Jim Lovell is faced with a nightmare when the mission suffers an onboard explosion – leaving the team stranded in space with a dwindling oxygen supply while flight controllers and engineers in Houston try to find a way to bring the crew safely back to Earth. With Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Ed Harris and Gary Sinise.



Gladiator (2000) More4 9:15pm-12:20am
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the Senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers but is sold into slavery as a gladiator – and uses his fame in the arena to fight against the tyrant. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed.

Boxng Day

Short Circuit (1986) Channel 4 9:20am-11:20am
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Sony Movie Channel 10:35am-12:15pm
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

The Witches (1990) ITV 11:05am-12:50pm
A boy goes on holiday with his grandmother to a seaside hotel hosting a convention of witches, who have come together to hear their leader’s plan to turn all the children in England into mice. When the chief hag discovers the young lad eavesdropping at their meeting, she decides to make him one of her first victims. Children’s fantasy directed by Nicolas Roeg, based on the book by Roald Dahl, and starring Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Jane Horrocks, Rowan Atkinson and Brenda Blethyn.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 12:15pm-2:20pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set



Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC1 1:25pm-3:15pm
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Sony Movie Channel 2:20pm-4:35pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Home Alone (1990) Film4 2:50pm-4:55pm
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Christmas Clothing

Home Alone TShirt



Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 5STAR 4:10pm-6:00pm
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Channel 4 5:45pm-8:00pm
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) 6:00pm-7:55pm
The would-be heavy metal superstars face the Grim Reaper as they try to reclaim their souls from Hell, return to the land of the living and stop their robot doppelgangers from changing history. Along the way, they must also master their instruments so they can triumph at the Battle of the Bands. Comedy sequel, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, Joss Ackland and George Carlin.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Clothing

Ghostbusters Who Ya Gonna Call Back Print Navy Boyfriend Fit Rolled Sleeve T-Shirt



Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.



Jaws (1975) ITV4 10:00pm-12:40am
A New England seaside town’s tourist season is turned into a nightmare by a giant killer shark. The local police chief’s efforts to protect the public are thwarted by the greedy mayor, forcing him to join forces with a grizzled fisherman and an enthusiastic marine biologist to hunt and kill the monster predator. Steven Spielberg’s thriller, starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw.

Jaws TShirt

Jaws Movie Poster Ringer T-Shirt



Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 10:00pm-12:05am
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.



Love Actually (2003) ITV 10:20pm-12:55am
Ten interlinked stories of people searching for and finding love. While the newly elected, bachelor British prime minister is smitten by a junior staff member at 10 Downing Street, a heartbroken writer heads for France to get over a failed relationship, and a faded rock star aims to reinvent himself in time for Christmas. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Liam Neeson.

Whatever you’re up to this Christmas, hope you have a great time and get to spread some joy.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 239

Grey and drizzle! Another weekend is here which can only mean… it’s time for… another retro movie rundown!

Sugar and spice! Mixing together the perfect blend of aromatic spices and flavours, we find ourselves in the throws of a chilli cook-off. Mixing the finest and freshest ingredients with a spoon of this and a splash of that to create a balanced and spicy delight, we’ll eagerly taste at each stage to ensure a correct course of culinary travel. Finishing off with a helping of soft fluffy rice, we’ll serve up our creation to be savoured, enjoyed and ultimately judged like a director revealing their latest creation.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd April

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Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) ITV 9:25am-11:10am (1 hour 45 minutes)
The amiable killer whale is reunited with his human friend Jesse, now a teenager working on a research ship. Jesse meets a boy whose father is secretly involved in poaching whales for their meat, and persuades the youngster to help him protect Willy and his pod from harm. Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter, August Schellenberg and Annie Corley.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 5STAR 1:05pm-3:10pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 2:25pm-4:35pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 9:05pm-11:25pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

SUNDAY 23rd April

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV 3:15pm-5:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.

James Bond TShirts

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:15pm-5:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Mission: Impossible (1996) Channel 4 3:20pm-5:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) Sony Movie Channel 4:30pm-6:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A food critic realises she is in love with her best friend just as he announces he is going to marry another woman. Determined to have him to herself, she heads for the wedding with the intention of sabotaging the ceremony – but persuading the groom to give up on his bride-to-be proves harder than expected. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz and Rupert Everett

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett.

Enemy at the Gates (2001) Spike 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A Soviet sniper becomes a national hero during the Second World War Battle of Stalingrad, so the Germans enlist a crack marksman of their own to deal with him. A lethal contest of wits follows as the two sharpshooters stalk each other, while the Russian also finds himself caught up in a love triangle with one of his friends. Drama, starring Jude Law, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Hoskins and Ron Perlman.

A Few Good Men (1992) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Two marines based in Cuba stand accused of murdering a comrade-in-arms. Three Navy lawyers working on their defence unearth evidence that the soldiers may have been acting under orders, which points to a trail of corruption leading all the way to a top-ranking officer. Drama based on Aaron Sorkin’s stage play, starring Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Kevin Pollack, Jack Nicholson, Kiefer Sutherland and Kevin Bacon.

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988) ITV4 10:05pm-11:50pm
While investigating the shooting of a colleague, disaster-prone police lieutenant Frank Drebin uncovers a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II during her visit to Los Angeles. However, after he is sacked from the force by the mayor, the cop has to operate beneath the radar to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Comedy, with Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and Ricardo Montalban.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always remember to take more bags than you think you’ll need, and to fill up on washer fluid before it runs out. You’re future self will thank you.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 231

Take to the skies! Another retro movie weekend is among us!

With a zip and a clip, we’ve packed our bags for another long and adventure filled journey through the retro movie jungle that be before us. Taking just the bare essentials with us… which is still more than you expect, we’ll begin our tour through far and distant lands. Stopping for only refreshments, we will masterfully hack our way through the cinematic wonder as we reach our final destination, only to gaze and stare at the majestic celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th FEBRUARY

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The Wizard of Oz
(1939) 5STAR 12:55pm-3:00pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 4:55pm-6:55pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelso.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:10pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Volcano (1997) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

The Full Monty (1997) Dave 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 11:15pm-1:25am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

The Blues Brothers (1980) Sony Movie Channel 11:20pm-2:10am (2 hours 50 minutes)
Two criminal brothers discover the orphanage where they were raised faces closure unless the nuns who run it can pay their tax bill, so the pair embark on an urgent mission to revive their old blues band to raise the money needed. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, Carrie Fisher, John Candy and John Lee Hooker.

SUNDAY 12th FEBRUARY

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Mrs Doubtfire
(1993) Channel 4 5:15pm-7:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Catch Me If You Can (2002) BBC2 5:45pm-8:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The story of Frank Abagnale Jr, who found notoriety as a teenager conning and charming his way across America. Posing as a pilot, a doctor and a lawyer, Frank was able to fund an extravagant lifestyle while outwitting the FBI at every turn. Fact-based drama, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen and James Brolin.

Men in Black (1997) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay humble, stay hungry.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 230

Great volcano! Another weekend, another time for retro movie rundown!

With the trees blowing and the tops of puddles shuffling, the cold winter winds are finally here. Braving the elements, we’ll grab our trusty, if not sometimes tangled kite and head for the hills. With a might leap, we’ll throw our plastic hero up into the… well not clouds but pretty high. Tugging at the lifeline of string, we’ll watch our kite dance, duck and dive in the air before stopping to capture this moment forever on celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 4th FEBRUARY

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The Borrowers (1997) Film4 2:45pm-4:25pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:20pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 3:50pm-5:00pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:55pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

X-Men (2000) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Sky 1 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff.

Bullitt (1968) ITV4 9:05pm-11:25pm
A tough police detective is assigned to protect a Mob witness for 48 hours, only for hitmen to find their hiding place and try to silence the informant. The rebellious cop realises something does not add up and goes in search of both the killers and whoever told them where to locate their target – but an ambitious politician wants him off the case. Thriller, starring Steve McQueen, Jacqueline Bisset, Robert Vaughn and Robert Duvall.

SUNDAY 5th FEBRUARY

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Rest in Peace, Mrs Columbo
(1990) 12:35pm-2:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The wife of a criminal who died in prison swears revenge on the men she holds responsible for his incarceration – including Columbo. She kills one of her targets, and the shabby sleuth is assigned to the case. As she faces his well-honed approach to sniffing out a suspect, she plots to murder his wife. Crime drama, starring Peter Falk, Helen Shaver and Ian McShane.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito.

Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 10:05pm-12:15am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:30pm-12:10am (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cool and keep it funky!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown… Crimbo Special!

In the words of Noddy Holder from Slade….it’s CHRIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAS! Well… almost.

With the shopping done (at last!), the family all organised and the tree nicely glistening in the corner, it seems Christmas is here again for another year. What joy! With nothing to do but eat, drink and be merry (what washing up?), we’ll spread our Christmas cheer for all to see as we welcome one and all to tuck into our festive feast. With a clinking of glass, a scraping or knife and the snap of a cracker, another year will float past into the night as we ready ourselves for another year ahead. Merry Christmas!

Have a happy retro weekend!

Christmas Eve

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Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
(1971) ITV3 9:50am-11:55am
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Roald Dahl Clothing

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Film4 11:00am-1:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 11:20am-1:20pm (2 hours)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

A Christmas Carol (2009) BBC1 11:30am-1:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A foul-tempered Victorian miser who hates the festive season is visited on Christmas Eve by a series of ghosts. The spirits intend to make him mend his wicked ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future will hold for him if he does not change for the better. Animated fantasy based on Charles Dickens’ novel, featuring motion-captured performances by Jim Carrey and Gary Oldman.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (2014) 5STAR 1:00pm-2:50pm
A bad-tempered cat in a pet shop grows more and more cynical as customers refuse to buy her. Over the course of a busy Christmas shopping day, she befriends a cheerful 12-year-old girl and reluctantly rescues a dog whom she hates from kidnappers. Comedy, starring Megan Charpentier and Daniel Roebuck, with the voice of Aubrey Plaza.

Grumpy Cat Merchandise

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001) ITV 1:30pm-4:20pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
An orphaned boy endures a miserable childhood, until he discovers he has magical powers and enrols at a special school for young wizards. However, his suspicions are aroused by a sinister teacher who seems to be up to no good. Fantasy adventure, adapted from the first of JK Rowling’s books, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman and Richard Harris.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Scrooged (1988) Channel 4 2:45pm-4:40pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) ITV 4:20pm-6:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A fashion-mad woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

Disney Merchandise

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Christmas Day!

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Santa Claus: The Movie
(1985) 9:15am-11:30am
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) ITV 11:55am-3:00pm
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter Gifts

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 11:55am-2:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) Channel 5 2:10pm-4:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Lion King (1994) ITV 3:10pm-4:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lion prince blames himself for his father’s death and flees into the wilderness, leaving his wicked uncle to take over. As the cub grows to adulthood, he receives a vision of the dead king, who inspires him to seek revenge and reclaim his rightful throne. Disney animated musical, featuring the voices of Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopi Goldberg and James Earl Jones.

Lion King Merchandise

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 6:10pm-8:00pm
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Love Actually (2003) ITV 11:00pm-1:30am (2 hours 30 minutes)
Ten interlinked stories of people searching for and finding love. While the newly elected, bachelor British prime minister is smitten by a junior staff member at 10 Downing Street, a heartbroken writer heads for France to get over a failed relationship, and a faded rock star aims to reinvent himself in time for Christmas. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Liam Neeson.

Whatever you’re up this this Christmas weekend, keep it festive, keep it jolly and don’t forget to check the microwave.